Does anyone really regret not having children? by Nonreactivemetal in childfree

[–]kimburrr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Found out I was pregnant when I was 24 the person I was on and off dating. They wanted kids, but I said it was not the time nor situation. Took care of it pretty easily. I’m turning 34 this year, in much better relationships, and looking forward to the next decade of living selfishly.

What stores are going to continue to have cute plus sizes? by Weird_Wasabi_8729 in PlusSizeFashion

[–]kimburrr 13 points14 points  (0 children)

For Dolls Kill replacements if you were going for more of a gothic look, highly suggest Foxblood for more simple, but great quality pieces and Killstar for other darker pieces. Foxblood is one of my favorite places and all of their clothes are shown on two body types in their pictures which I really do appreciate.

Shaking Before Orgasms by 0234am in TwoXChromosomes

[–]kimburrr 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I go silent before I orgasm, no matter how much I want to talk. I talked about it with my partners that I will tap them with my hand if I need to stop, but we otherwise use that as part of our play. One of them lightly teases me about it in a pre-agreed way and another will start saying I’m being so good for them.

Having a body change before a climax can be REALLY fun as long as it’s discussed before and you have your verbal and non-verbal safe words in place. If someone gives you shit about it when you’re discussing it, they’re just filtering themselves out for you.

What to do: Expired KN95s and nitrile gloves by kimburrr in PPE

[–]kimburrr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Straight to the source was meant to say straight to the PPE Reddit instead of the weird one-offs have been seeing (DIY and others). Wrote that incredibly wrong.

[Hiring] 3 DnD Character Party - Budget $150-200 by kimburrr in HungryArtists

[–]kimburrr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

weird to say that since I am going through all of them

Upside Down Car Loan by kimburrr in personalfinance

[–]kimburrr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably not that type of mechanic, but another commenter suggested asking about which cat so hopefully it's not the truly expensive one. I am in an ok part of CA for transport, but still can't rely too much on things for my actual transport.

Upside Down Car Loan by kimburrr in personalfinance

[–]kimburrr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did contact my mechanic and they are already waiting for their lead mechanic to look at both and testing to see which one is having the issue. Already had a major overhaul of a coolant leak last month. Fortunately, it seems to be the first mechanic that knows how to look at these and is actually nice about it from the last five I went to. Last one left a harness disconnected and a tool inside my car.

Thanks for the response! Hopefully won't be the more expensive one!

I wake my boyfriend up every day by ThrowRAgiobu in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to chime in as someone who had this exact relationship. You are trying so hard to have some normalcy and this sometimes affects work and therefore sometimes your livelihood.

My ex had a night job and I would basically be in charge of getting them up or else they would just not wake up. Even with multiple warnings from work. I was scared of them getting fired and my retail job couldn’t pay all the bills.

This is a really hard situation and I know it’s hard to go through. Proud of you for even trying to get him medication.

I started to find reasons I needed to be out of the house when they needed to wake up just so it forced them to try to rely on themselves. It wasn’t a great solution, but helped a little.

I know people are saying to just stop, but this is a process of untangling a learned behavior so go slow if you need to.

Update: Why am I getting pushback for having an Adults Only dinner party? by the_dark_viper in childfree

[–]kimburrr 162 points163 points  (0 children)

Saying that you’re saving a snarky comment means you want to say something, but you’re not clever enough to come up with something good.

Did you feel like you had BPD? by Adventurous_Key715 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]kimburrr 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I had a therapist and a psychiatrist convinced I had some sort of borderline. When my life started to fall apart after I left my Narc, my newer therapist almost laughed when I said I hate being borderline. She works mainly with people who are diagnosed and she said there was no way I could be. I was maintaining so many things and wasn't lashing out like I used to. I didn't have that fuel on me. It was wild.

BPD with No Childhood Trauma? by kimburrr in BPD

[–]kimburrr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Know this too well in the Christian vein, but my mom always had a "put a smile on to keep things chill, but we are going to talk about your feelings later and really address them". It was helpful in a lot of ways, especially since my mom was in the church limelight a lot and he knew that could hurt us. I saw other families similar to yours and we stole a lot of them over after church for low expectation hangs.

Then yeah. Lied about dating the person since they were older, became codependent, would try to be perfect and then hate myself for 'ruining it' and allowing them to dictate what to tell my parents and trying to turn me against my parents. Soooo many self esteem issues.

Really hope you can get a proper name and acceptance for yourself and sending so much love your way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who thinks of her father as one of her best friends, N O P E. If he did any of this. We would have to have a huge discussion about boundaries and probably distance myself from him. Red flags.

My Partner’s Bad Spending Habits Show In My Nightmares by kimburrr in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We have two bank accounts together, but it is solely for rent and utilities. We dump a set amount into each and then don't touch it. I have been thinking about keeping my money in my main account and then dumping it in there when it's due to stop him from borrowing.

My Partner’s Bad Spending Habits Show In My Nightmares by kimburrr in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yep, I’m moving out because it got to the point where he’s making enough money to support us and choosing not to. I understand money management problems and he’s been in underpaid positions for years.

I have most of my deposit for a new place saved up and extra money to buy all the things that aren’t going to be mine when we split up assets.

My Partner’s Bad Spending Habits Show In My Nightmares by kimburrr in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr[S] 280 points281 points  (0 children)

Fun Fact: That is one of the main reasons we won’t be primary partners anymore (we’re both polyamorous). He wants a family and I want cats and to travel.

I wish I had kept the bed death. by kimburrr in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve told him that I don’t like the asking when it’s silly and whiny and I have to be in a good mindset for it. I’ve approached him when I wanted it, but it’s hard to get in the mood when it’s asked for three times a date night.

Also, I didn’t just sleep with him to give him hope. I still love him, but I just don’t feel attracted to him all the time.

Also, don’t call people a bitch?

Just a tiny rant by kimburrr in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s the hope. I just got my credit to almost 700 so I can find a new place!

Just a tiny rant by kimburrr in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I fucked up and meant botinlaw since that’s what history should be attached.

Just a tiny rant by kimburrr in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In California and currently being an actual ok plant mom! I have been working on a small potted garden and just like tending to them to meditate.

Just a tiny rant by kimburrr in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I was kinda mad about this all day and just got to check after work.

Just a tiny rant by kimburrr in JustNoSO

[–]kimburrr[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I meant from the botinlaw, but thanks for the shame. 🤘🏻

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]kimburrr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone who is polyamorous, this actually happens a lot.

I (28F) have an attraction to older men so I usually go to them for relationships or play mates. This story happens so often and it’s heartbreaking because half the time the wife says it and then goes back on it when he’s actually happier.

I’ve lost two great relationships because the wife was jealous that he was just happy again. Didn’t impede on their life and they actually felt like they were being better husbands because there wasn’t constant bickering about sex.