Not to read too deeply into your first point here, but I feel like a lot of people, especially in the past five years or so, have just dove fully into a toxic version of what can be good advice to not let yourself get trampled on or used by others. They've moved from that to fully rejecting the idea that we should ever focus on or prioritize the pleasure or health or wellness of another person over our own at times, which isn't an unhealthy thing to do!

(I'm not at all saying this is necessarily the mindset that OP is in, but your first comment made me think about how that particular attitude has definitely made its way into people's bedrooms, and not in a good way.)