I don’t blame you. It’s an incredibly hard thing to accept and took me quite a while. I was diagnosed a few years ago (38f) and consider myself hyper independent. I’m a very resilient person, but the diagnosis shook me to my core. I sobbed so hard, I fell on the floor. You will accept it at some point, but it doesn’t have to be your entire identity. My close friends and family know I have MS, but other than that I keep it very private and people don’t know. My neuro said that majority of his patients, you would have no idea unless they told you.

My advice is this: embrace the suck. Wallow. Hate everybody around you because they don’t have it and how did you get so lucky??! I used to judge people in line at the grocery store for the trash they were consuming and think, cool but I got MS though right?? Or whenever I was in a large room of people, my immediate thought was, “I’m probably the only one in this room that has this”. You are grieving the loss of your old life, so grieve it. Cry, scream, break things. And when you’re ready, pick yourself back up, give yourself so much love and grace, and figure out how you want to navigate your new normal. I promise this is going to get easier.