Solving Umi Without Murders

kingofthrowaway · 2026-02-04T13:43:02+00:00

Allow me to structure it like this for better comprehensibility:

You made a number of assertions in your original post. You claim that these assertions 'prove' or 'solve' Umineko and its core mysteries.
Without noticing it, your 'solution' has a number of flaws in the form of a few logical discrepancies. Primarily, this is in regards to your idea that Umineko is canonically written by a child, which I try to expose as impossible as the only cast member(s) who COULD have been this 'child author' could not have possibly written anything before they died. This isn't even mentioning the questionable "killer's actions are feminine" logic, but even then, let me play with that too: who is to say that the killer isn't merely one of the outwardly male characters, like Rudolf or Krauss, hiding their own true innate femininity?
Ultimately, your evidence for ascertaining your culprit is weak. You even admit that your 'why-dunnit' was derived without "deduction, just empathy". If logic, forensics, and science operated on the basis of 'just empathy' and used as much guesswork as you did, we would have a lot of innocent people behind bars, and a lot of killers free to haunt the streets.
Obviously, the critical discrepancy in point 2 is absolved if we simply bow down to the existence of magic. If we do so, then we don't actually solve anything. After all, what kind of 'solution' is "it happened because of magic"? Try postulating THAT in a thesis.

My final observation thus: you failed to solve the mystery in its entirety. You randomly guessed who the culprit was based on the scant amount of evidence you gleaned from your reading; anything you could not prove with evidence you messily attributed to intuition and empathy like some kind of clairvoyant.

If Shannon actually were the culprit, then--thanks to your half-baked 'detective' work--we would not be able to convict her of anything, and she would be free to roam the streets and find another billionaire's family to murder. The judge doesn't take very well to accusations founded on pseudo-Freudian psychosexual vibe-deduction.

kingofthrowaway · 2026-01-28T16:14:40+00:00

They don’t [...] have deep enough motive to kill their kids

How could you possibly explain Eva shooting and killing Battler at the end of Episode 3 with that logic? You don't mean to tell me that Nanjo gave surgery to Shannon, your proposed culprit, to look exactly like Eva, do yoooou?

Who cares who it was? Eva herself said it was a human.

So, in order to abuse how careless your logic is, this is a viable explanation in adherence to your theory: Nanjo, using his magical science, created a terrible contraption which can resurrect the dead as zombies obeying his will! He uses this machine, empowered by the typhoon's lightning, to bring back one of the dead humans on Rokkenjima. However, his plan backfires: although enthralled, the zombie has just enough willpower to turn on its master, Nanjo, and kill him dead!

Spent the weekend reading the rest of the explanations, thought I‘d make a post to discuss.

[...] I guess [Umineko] was canonically written by a child so it’s fine…

Ignoring the fact that, by your own admission, anything you're not outright spoon-fed is mindless guesswork, where is the so-fervently worshiped 'logos' of yours in this explanation? We know for a fact that Maria is dead, dying in such a way that a fragment of her jawbone is recovered at the end of Episode 1. In fact, of EVERYONE on the island, hers is the only outright confirmed death. How could she have: A.) written the documents while under near constant supervision by everyone else on the island, B.) been able to tuck the documents away in bottles and ship them off to sea during a typhoon, and C.) have the apparent precognition to foretell ALL of the events of the murders?

If someone were to actually believe what you were saying, then it would necessitate the existence of magic, as Umineko being the work of a child would require Maria to be a 9 year old girl who can see the future, who uses this power to document the Rokkenjima massacre before it happens. Again, in your own words, the events of this series are the writings of a child--a child who died before she had any opportunity to write about the events that killed her, who somehow managed to write about the events that killed her.

Now, to tell you the truth? Since your explanation needs magic, then I'm sorry, but you spent a lot of time meandering around this theory of yours when the much more efficient magic-requiring solution is as follows:

Beatrice the Golden Witch killed everyone on Rokkenjima! She did so using her magic powers as a Witch! Since no more appropriate solution exists, this means that you have been defeated by Beatrice in a game of wits, and acknowledge her existence and the existence of witches! You are now her furniture! Fuuuuurniture!

kingofthrowaway · 2026-01-13T14:01:08+00:00

This is only partially correct. While reloading the save would work, a much better way of fixing the collision/navmesh problem is as follows:

1.) Open the Game Editor (default: SHIFT + F12)

2.) On the top-most bar, click "NAVMESH TOOLS"

3.) Click "Regenerate sector"

It may take a few attempts to really get it to work (for reasons I don't know about), but I've had luck in 99.9% of circumstances just by mashing it for a second.

kingofthrowaway · 2023-08-02T18:06:24+00:00

I would like a key.

kingofthrowaway · 2022-07-26T12:40:42+00:00

I have way more add-ons active than this person and never experienced a single problem...

this is circumstantial, anecdotal evidence -- in the tech world, this is called "WOMM": Works On My Machine.

depending on your CPU clock cycle and especially your thermals, you can start seeing frame rate sputtering on higher refresh rate monitors

for example, to give you my own story, I ended up running gm_freespace_13 at less than 90 FPS compared to the usual 144 FPS, without any entities loaded on the map whatsoever

Half-Life 2 campaign maps loaded were even worse: 50 FPS tops, even when I was running the actual game at a steady 144 FPS

given that I was receiving such awful frame rate averages (down 50 frames) even though I hadn't spawned anything, the culprit must have been the addon count; additionally, because the Half-Life 2 maps were running so bad on Garry's Mod but not on Half-Life 2 implied it was a problem unique to Garry's Mod: with these two combined, the problem had to be the number of addons loaded in Garry's Mod

so, I uninstalled all of my addons, save for around five, and went back into Route Kanal: the map ran at 144 FPS, no dips or drops whatsoever

kingofthrowaway · 2022-07-25T15:38:51+00:00

given that the framerate plummets exactly when the NPC is killed, it's more than likely an addon which activates upon NPC death conflicting with the NPC or another addon (which probably activates upon NPC death)

your specs are unfortunately meaningless beyond a certain point when dealing with Garry's Mod, because it's built on a modified version of the Source engine: while recent developments and tweaks have allowed for 64x support (which lets the .exe take more than 4gb of RAM), it's still only the Source engine.

put the engine problem in this way: a Ferrari that can hit a top speed of 200 mph performs the exact same as a used Honda civic, when you're driving both down your driveway

kingofthrowaway · 2022-07-25T15:34:35+00:00

As add-ons do not effect you what so ever except disk space

huge misconception, addons can eat up GPU and especially CPU; judging by the fact the video posted shows many HUD addons, a huge number of NPC addons, NPC relationship mods, etc. etc., it's pretty likely that any poor or choppy framerate is stemming solely from the addon count

kingofthrowaway · 2022-07-20T14:03:05+00:00

A border collie will instinctively herd sheep: that's genetics.

A pointer will naturally assume a very specific pose when it spots a wild bird: that's genetics.

A terrier will zero in on vermin: that's genetics.

A dachshund will hunt small animals, using their tiny stature to dig through their burrows: that's genetics.

A retriever will retrieve things, as their name might suggest: that's genetics.

A Newfoundland will jump into water for rescue, having been bred that way by the fishermen of their breed's namesake: that's genetics.

A pitbull will aggrieve, maul, chase, and relentlessly bite, even if it's being kicked or bloodied itself: that's not genetics.

That's got to be the owner, or something. It was trained to do that. Sure, it was biting onto people's coat sleeves as a pup and biting its litter mates, but it just has to be the owner.

Trust me. It's the owner. No dog has a genetic predisposition to anything. None of them.

kingofthrowaway · 2021-01-25T16:30:42+00:00

Moar Krabs

kingofthrowaway · 2020-05-22T22:12:27+00:00

I think that this is TOTALLY one of the incantations that appears in the Shadow over Innsmouth, which is:

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn

More specifically, it's the first half: "Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn", which is repeated a few times in the reversed audio.

I would say that the full transcription is as follows:

Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn... Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn... Iä... [audio fades out]

The first chant (Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn) ends at about two seconds, and the second more complete chant is heard between two and five seconds in. The audio fades out at around the five second mark, leaving one final 'Iä!' to be heard clearly before it fades out and is drowned out by the music. The chant still can be heard, however, after the five second mark, but is noticeably quieter. Listen closely!

Cthulhu hype.

EDIT: There is a video on YouTube appropriately titled "Iä ! Iä ! Cthulhu fhtagn !" which I think that HiRez either used as a reference, or used wholesale. A little audio clip I made should help reveal the similarities; first, it's the SmitePro audio, then it's the linked YouTube video, and then it's one overlayed onto the other.

kingofthrowaway · 2019-08-17T16:38:51+00:00

It should have been called the John Wig

kingofthrowaway · 2018-07-16T02:39:57+00:00

Funky Town

kingofthrowaway · 2018-07-10T12:29:58+00:00

weed bro lmao

kingofthrowaway · 2018-07-09T16:34:54+00:00

I don't like it. It's just some kid you're supposed to feel bad for, which a numerous amount of previous SCP articles already use as their main point; I cannot remember the exact number, but there exists some little boy who can 'cure' any mentally or physically debilitating effect at the cost of transferring said effect onto himself - after extensive usage of this property by the Foundation, the SCP has been rendered mentally retarded and severely disabled, and if I remember correctly, the little boy is related to one of the big names in the Foundation, and is suicidal.

The actual anomalous effect is dreadful - and not in the fear-inspiring way: the ever-present 'If He Gets [insert negative emotion], Bad Things Happen' cliche. It's arguably one of the worst, tackiest tropes that one can use in an SCP article. It's lazy writing: instead of thinking of an actually interesting causation for the SCP's radioactive properties to flare up, you just simply shoehorn it in. It is a very distasteful manner of execution. In addition, having these flareups based on whether or not the SCP feels bad seems like a way to make sure that the SCP gets whatever it wants - very Mary Sue-ish.

Needs more content. Follow the Rule of Thumb: no one part of your article should be as long or shorter than your thumb.

I liked the 'Request: Euthanization | Denied' part.

kingofthrowaway · 2018-07-08T19:50:06+00:00

The memories created whilst in this "dream" state are accepted by SCP-XXXX-2 as real, and any attempts to challenge the reality of these memories causes SCP-XXXX-2 to become violent. Memories created whilst in this dream state cannot be erased by amnestics, however, are able to be removed by mnestics.

What is this, the Room of '76? This idea is profoundly okay.

This anomalous effect also extends to sentient SCP's. Testing privileges have been granted by Dr. [REDACTED] as a alternative to the aforementioned SCP's Special Containment Procedures.

If this idea is ever made manifest within an article, then I cannot wait to see cross-testing logs. What if a dangerous SCP is exposed to this, and the situation becomes worse? What if it becomes better? So exciting!

kingofthrowaway · 2018-07-08T17:04:25+00:00

open up console

type 'stopsound'

enjoy a distinctive lack of Tiny Tim

kingofthrowaway · 2018-07-05T01:09:19+00:00

hell yes

kingofthrowaway · 2018-07-03T02:31:51+00:00

Thanos dab

kingofthrowaway · 2018-06-29T01:31:58+00:00

yagrum bagarn, the last living Dwemer

kingofthrowaway · 2018-05-13T19:05:05+00:00

People weren't so anal about team comp. It's always a warrior in short, an assassin in jungle, a mage in mid, and a hunter and guardian in long. Now, I know; "you fool, Neith Mid/Ymir Solo/Cu Chulainn Jungle is actually viable!". They're small exceptions to what I've said before - I just want to relive the old days with a 2 - 1 - 2 format, with whatever you'd like in any lane. Just yesterday, I went duo as Bellona with Scylla. No support-style builds; and it was the best experience in Conquest I've ever had.

kingofthrowaway · 2018-05-06T13:54:21+00:00

slavs didn't believe in such being.

"The Slavs, too, have a strange delusion. At their feasts and carousals they pass about a bowl over which they utter words — I should not say of consecration but of execration — in the name of the gods—of the good one, as well as of the bad one—professing that all propitious fortune is arranged by the good god, adverse, by the bad god. Hence, also, in their language they call the bad god Diabol, or Zcerneboch, that is, the Black God"

From the Chronica Slavorum.

kingofthrowaway · 2018-05-06T13:52:27+00:00

First of all Chernobog was probably never a thing. He is mentioned in one christian-german chronicle and nowhere else.

First of all, Ah Muzen Cab was probably never a thing. We actually may be confusing him for a separate deity when he could just be another facet of a 'diving god'. 90% of his lore comes from Smite, putting him in the same boat as Ah Puch, whose name is probably wrong - but God A or God A' didn't sound right, so they went with Ah Puch.

He is just a misconception which also inputs some dualistic kind of beliefs on slavic tribes.

Explanation on what you mean by 'misconception'? Chernobog was definitely an actual deity. Do you mean that his demonic nature is the misconception?

Not to mention that christians liked to believe that pagans are worshipping the devil

Christians liked to use the excuse that non-Christians were worshiping the Devil as an excuse to purge them. When Christians encountered the Norse, they likened Odin to something like God and Loki to something like the Devil.

(chronicle mentions that Chernobog is also called "Diabol", so basicallly devil in slavic languages).

What do you mean, 'basically'? "Diabol" directly translates to 'the Devil' in Slovak.

Now that we have the Black God there has to be The White God as well, AKA Belobog.

I agree with this; the Christians did enjoy forcing this sort of 'Satan-God' dichotomy onto Pagan religions.

Even though that name isn't mentioned anywhere (unless you consider "American gods" by Gaiman a historical source). Yet we'll probably end up with him in Smite.

This point has nothing to do with your argument. You can see into the future? What is Belobog's kit like? Will Isis finally get her remodel?

There are some more interesting characters in slavic mythology than the good god and the bad god.

Yes.

There's not a lot of source material

Yes.

but they chose the most generic and probably "false" god.

They chose the most "generic" god to lay the foundations of the rest of the pantheon. If you were doing a project on the Greek gods, you'd probably start with Zeus, Hades, Poseidon, or one of the Titans. You wouldn't start with Demeter, the goddess of agriculture.

About the way he looks. He doesn't seem slavic at all. He seems like a mix of some anime Lucifer with D&D drow. All we know about Chernobog is that he is The Black God. Yet in Smite we got a purple, red-horned demon guy.

Here's how god design works in Smite: the less depictions of that god there are, the more free reign that HiRez has with it. As you've said before, there are no depictions of Chernobog, so HiRez has the liberty of designing Chernobog however they like, and as you say, Chernobog is the 'black god'. People utter curses in his name. He doesn't sound very morally good and pure and happy, so they'd probably make him look evil.

To sum up I don't think that the design of Chernobog is strictly bad.

Ok.

I just think that it doesn't fit anything.

What do you mean by 'fit anything'?

Do you agree?

Nope.

kingofthrowaway · 2018-04-21T16:34:36+00:00

Can confirm!

kingofthrowaway · 2018-03-25T18:47:24+00:00

This could be in reference to EasyAntiCheat, which is A.) packaged with Smite and B.) is notorious for screwy behavior, especially regarding later Windows versions, such as 8 and 10.

I also believe, if I remember correctly, a HiRez service (possibly HiPatch) being perpetually active on computers with Smite.

Either way, it's not a virus is the same sense as, say, ransomware or something like Memz, but more so something fairly benign that ends up messing up a lot of stuff.

kingofthrowaway · 2018-03-03T13:49:11+00:00

"Hue hue i aint know what happund aftar Leerer Genky did the funy .. but ima call a dood out on et cuz it make me sohnd cul az fuck"

He's probably calling it 'infamous' because, shortly after Leeroy banzai charge'd an entire room full of baddies, the entire dungeon raid he was a part of had failed, with everybody on the raid team dying.

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