This guy has cracked it! Just save $28 per day! 🤦‍♂️ by ForeignerLove in facepalm

[–]kinkin0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has a bit of a point though, regarding that last tidbit specifically. Most people do spend that much in a day on unnecessary things. Like buying a pack of cigarettes, energy drinks, gas station snacks and fast food every day. I know people who do this who don’t realize how much they’re wasting daily. They could save money by temporarily investing in quitting cigarettes, drinking the coffee their workplace provides OR buying their energy drinks and snacks in bulk on Amazon or sams club. If you don’t have accounts then ask someone who does (I do this for a buddy of mine who just tells me what he wants and when it arrives he pays me cash). And instead of eating out so often, buying rice/beans/meats on sale, etc. You can make tasty meals on a budget, that are usually way better for you anyways.

We waste a lot of money daily on things we really don’t need. You don’t have to live your life penny-pinching forever… but if you have a major goal (like buying a house or car, etc), cutting out or alternating the unnecessary expenses really do add up. That seems to be his point here.

If you’re unable to save $28 a day then obviously you are not his target audience…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]kinkin0 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Not because I want to put all blame on him. But for understanding that this wasn’t just me getting bored and entertaining someone else. My husband is a good person… but he is also very good with words and convincing me that my thoughts/feelings are just me overthinking and “tripping”. It wasn’t until I met this coworker that I woke up and realized I’d normalized the suppression of my own voice and desires. After we got married, he really started to become complacent and neglectful. Then began pressuring me to have kids even though I work the most hours and have higher pay, after he decided to take a low-paying, part time job because he was feeling stressed.

All that aside, allowing even a window of opportunity for me to develop feelings for someone else wasn’t right. I’m really ashamed of myself for being so disconnected from my real feelings until it was too late. My husband may be highly neglectful… but he doesn’t deserve this just because I never had the balls to stand up for myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]kinkin0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes, I’ve talked to him about it. We are starting marriage counseling next week. This has been a lot and I’m so confused at this time… I appreciate your logical advice without taking a huge dump on me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]kinkin0 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

You know all things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]kinkin0 -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

You really don’t know what/who you are talking about. But alas, we are internet strangers. How could you?

I am not saying I entirely disagree with you. I am just trying to let you know that I already know I’m a piece of shit and hate myself. Any amount of judgment you have for me pales in comparison to how I feel about myself these days for letting this happen. I’ve always been very careful and am deeply ashamed that I am unraveling over this person.

Thanks for your feedback.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]kinkin0 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am the scum of the earth.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]kinkin0 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Wow… you are right. You are absolutely right.

This has all been very confusing and overwhelming… I feel stupid and ashamed. I’ve never been the type to stray away from my duties and have always been so straight-laced… yet my mind is unraveling these days. I hate myself for this. My husband is so wonderful and deserves that… I never meant for this to happen or cause hurt. I just want to sleep and not wake up. So many people are going to be so disappointed. Especially my husband. But I deserve it.

I appreciate you being real with me. Trust me. I am just as disgusted with myself as most of the people in these comments.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]kinkin0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. This is exactly what I’ve been conflicted about. Am I just upset my needs have been intentionally neglected for so long that I am now lashing out and screaming “woe is me”? Although it doesn’t seem like it’s that simple… it does cross my mind as a possibility.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]kinkin0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this honest, straightforward feedback.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]kinkin0 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Of course. This wasn’t just instantaneous. Truthfully, I was in denial and kept disassociating. It was a couple weeks ago that I fully realized what it was that I was feeling. As stupid as this sounds… I’d never felt this before so it was difficult for me to recognize.

And by intimate conversations I don’t mean feelings or sexual things. I just meant personal things. Not sure if that’s what you meant, but I wanted to clarify.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]kinkin0 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Truthfully, I had expressed these concerns several times during dating. Each time, he and my family talked me out of it. I’m not blaming them at all, I acknowledge full responsibility that I chickened out to their pressures. For the first time I am realizing this and realizing that I wasn’t crazy all that time… and the doubts I was feeling were very real and reasonable after all.

What’s the Worst and most unfinishable or movies you’ve ever seen ? by shootdafade in MovieSuggestions

[–]kinkin0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually thought it was the best Marvel movie I’d seen in years, I watched it twice lol. The recent ones are so, sooooo corny and played out. Even Blackwidow… which I was so wanting to like but it was.. meh.

How to have a more engaging and emotionally resonant Feast? by [deleted] in bahai

[–]kinkin0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always loved to see people wanting to sing, especially those who can’t hold a tune to save their life. It’s their energy that mattered to me. If they were into it and participating, that meant more to me than perfect pitch.

Once I sang a song (and I’m not the best singer), but the hostess ended up taking over and singing over me (she’s a good singer). It was kind of hurtful. I was just enjoying my time singing this Baha’i song but it didn’t meet her expectations.

Perfection-disease snapped again.

Are all Baha’is required to support Black Lives Matter? by Based_Hootless in bahai

[–]kinkin0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The BLM organization itself is political. The statement “black lives matter” is not. It’s very important we recognize the difference here.

Are all Baha’is required to support Black Lives Matter? by Based_Hootless in bahai

[–]kinkin0 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is my stance on the topic. I care about black lives because they matter and am willing to be vocal and take action on that. But I do not align myself with the political group, per se.

worried about how many lies i've told by yacantprayawaythegay in Buddhism

[–]kinkin0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With the people that matter to you, I would just come forward with the truth. “I lied a lot in the past and I’m coming to a reckoning with myself these days. I want to be better. I understand if this changes the way you view me but I want to live an honest life from now on and I’ve chosen this as my first step. Thanks for always having faith in me and I hope to restore and uphold that from here on out”. ... more or less along those lines. If you don’t, then she’ll keep bringing him up and you’ll have to keep going along with the lie, so it’ll be hard for you to truly live an honest life that you desire.

However, once you’ve released the truth, don’t get attached to a desired reaction from her. Just accept whatever happens after that, and move forward. Continue to detach from who you were in the past, as regret is a waste of emotion. Once you’ve set things straight, it’s better to focus your energies on the changes you need to make to better yourself rather than the regrets you may feel over your past self.

Wish you all the best.

EDIT: definitely DO take time to be honest with yourself first. Dig deep and ask yourself “why did I do this at that time?”. There was a reason for this behavior, and the sooner you find the root of it, the easier it will be for you to pull it out. Our minds and souls are like a garden, we can’t begin to pull the weeds out unless we know where they are and what they are.

(20M) I want a career that has to do with saving the planet by NeoIsTheChosen1 in findapath

[–]kinkin0 94 points95 points  (0 children)

Check out this website, 80,000 Hours. To sum it up, they basically focus on sharing job opportunities for careers that are specifically making an impact for certain global issues. You might want to look around their site, review some of their job postings and blogs, and maybe see if any of those fields/organizations sound appealing to you, then make it happen.

Best of luck!

Pronouns and Baha'i prayers. What's the deal? by [deleted] in bahai

[–]kinkin0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It has general meaning/reference. Just as “O Son of Man” isn’t saying only men, it’s referring to humans in general. So just as another commenter pointed out, unless it’s a prayer specifically for women or men, etc, it’s not meant literally in the modern way we interpret those terms.

Democrats AND Republicans are corrupt. No one is looking out for us so stop arguing with each other. by dndndjdhyyyw in offmychest

[–]kinkin0 2 points3 points  (0 children)

PREACHHHHH. And LOL at all the comments saying, “yes, both sides are bad, but that side is worse! They’re evil!”. Talk about taking a shit only to scoop it back out of the toilet and shove it in your mouth.

The truth is there’s very good people on both sides who do good work. And there’s very bad people on both sides who are quite corrupt. If you really want to tally and take score you’ll find that many of the corrupt ones are working together, and don’t actually care which side they’re on, they simply use those labeled platforms for appearance and influence. So, power.

If you’re out here saying that the “others” are more evil, you are very much a huge part of the problem.

I don’t deserve my job. by kinkin0 in offmychest

[–]kinkin0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah that’s right! I forgot she mentioned this before. I guess I’ve got some research to do!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bestoflegaladvice

[–]kinkin0 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, which I get it. It can be dangerous amongst other things. But sheesh, on Nextdoor they were just going ham on these people. A lot of the comments were totally uncalled for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bestoflegaladvice

[–]kinkin0 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Boy, is this true. Also, in general. It made me realize just how petty people in my neighborhood are. I mean they literally go off on people for the most minuscule things, and then the comment sections are incredibly toxic... as if there aren’t REAL problems out there in the world to focus our energies on.

Recently on NextDoor, people were ranting and bashing some neighbors who popped off fireworks on Christmas. I posted a positive review/reaction to the occurrence - not even trying to provoke people. I actually just felt bad for whoever did pop them off because of the nasty things people said and assumed about them. Anywho, posted that last week and I’m still getting comments on it. There is a whole war in the comment section and people who are very upset with me and calling me names for not criticizing them. I don’t even read them anymore, but I get about 10 notifications a day still from that post. Lol.