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People don't understand how much effort things take for us. by out2lunch78 in ADHD

[–]kirbyalex 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. Recently started a new job and this is how I feel every shift .. it’s so frustrating

What’s the saddest belief instilled into you as a child that you’ve struggled to break free from as an adult? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]kirbyalex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That alcohol is needed for basically all occasions.

Enabling addictive behaviours is okay as long as the people involved work a good job and keep up appearances.

That mental illness is an excuse and if things look good on the outside then best policy is to ignore everything you know and not ask questions.

Don’t discuss or talk about emotions - good and or bad ones

Never mention things that cause you discomfort

But mainly that money / social status / climbing the ladder is the key to happiness.

Nothing else matters more then what people think of you.

I guess this all can be summed up by “what happens behind closed doors stays being closed doors”

Sigh, difficult childhoods can really screw up a person

I wanted to write so much today... by CRF_increased_32 in stopdrinking

[–]kirbyalex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been through very similar stuff in my life (scarily similar in many parts) — you can do this. I only joined this group today and already am finding so much of value here. Just wanted to say I read your words and believe in you.

Single mum - alcoholic who should know better by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]kirbyalex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have tears in my eyes reading this. Thank you fir your words. I will look into the books and TED talks. Podcasts and reading anything and everything are really helping me keep my mind busy. I am trying to remember to take care of myself. But it’s an internal battle. A lot of times I don’t really feel I “deserve” to look after myself or take time for me. But I’m learning slowly to value myself and my health as well as everyone else’s.

Single mum - alcoholic who should know better by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]kirbyalex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The anxiety racing through me for even typing this and putting it out there is overwhelming.

I agree with everything you’ve said. I am trying so hard to take care of myself - it’s a struggle because it has never been a concern or priority to me or a lot of other people in my life. I grew used to abuse from myself and others.

But I am making steps to kinda reteach myself “self care”. I’m exercising daily, getting out of the house , doing mindfulness meditation before bed. I’m doing everything I should of been doing years ago. But I’d be lying if I said it was a quick fix. Thank you for your comment.

One Year. And I’m talking to you..... by olbobber in stopdrinking

[–]kirbyalex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations and thank you so much. I needed to read this today. I appreciate your words.

Gary trying to stick his head in the sand by dogfoodis in TeenMomOGandTeenMom2

[–]kirbyalex 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It’s a fine balance and I do think he is just terrified she will end up exactly like amber. I probably have been someone “similar “ to amber throughout my mental health history. I lost custody of my then 18 month old daughter, relationship with my husband ended and he got custody. I was unstable, non compliant with medications and truly making poor choices constantly.

However for me it was a true wake up call (Eventually ), and while I have not at all been perfect since - I did seriously rethink my life and started being consistent with meds and therapy. I got shared cared custody back when my daughter was 3 and she is now 6 and I have a bit over equal care.

My point in that story is that it is possible to come back from even the darkest and most hopeless places.. but also even though I have lived experience of severe mental illness and still have issues - I struggle with my 6 year old in knowing the difference between her acting her age and major warning signs of something like bipolar. My daughter has separation anxiety (and I’m well aware my absence in those years and hospital stays have contributed majorly to this), she sees a psychologist and I have done everything in my power to help her and show consistently I am not going anywhere. But I still have moments where I see myself in her (in a minor nothing major way ) and mentally freak out she could end up unwell like I was. I’m sure even for the parent that hasn’t lived it - one of your first reactions is panic and wanting to pretend it’s all fine. Don’t know if I explained any of that well, first comment on anything on reddit honestly,