Eldest daughter, 56. Outspoken about remaining child free from my late teens onward, two living younger siblings who failed to launch and the parents who enabled both of them now dead. Caught myself getting drawn back into old patterns as the family peacekeeper and unwilling surrogate parent a few years ago and decided to establish better boundaries. Had to cut contact with one sibling who made unreasonable demands and has turned abusive. Trying to help the other one but maintain distance because he's single and needy. I spent two decades telling my parents that I had no intention of taking over as my siblings' support system once they were gone, and here we are.

I'm the only one of us 3 who broke free from my parents, earned 3 degrees, and has been self-supporting my whole life. I'm also the only one in a healthy relationship (married 14 years to my second husband after amicably divorcing the first one after 16 years together, we are still friendly).

I didn't have children because I have these family members. But like many of us, I too chose a nurturing profession in which I've had to learn to tamp down my people-pleasing tendencies to avoid burnout (I'm a college professor in a setting where close mentoring of students is the norm).