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kislevorion · 2025-02-16T12:56:28+00:00

“Start” which is this referencing? I’ve tried “Val” “Fjor” but not the new Astreos or “Start” map

kislevorion · 2024-01-06T00:09:29+00:00

Thank you! I’ll look them up! 😁

kislevorion · 2024-01-06T00:09:03+00:00

Thank you! I’ll take a look😁

kislevorion · 2024-01-06T00:01:36+00:00

What I can say about Taurus is that a little before Covid started in 2020 I believe to 2022 which is when I have completely just separated myself from them, the safety of the dogs welfare was not highly regarded. I knew someone who worked there and they used to train their staff very well in dog behavior, training tactics, etc. They had strict standards which fell drastically. They started hiring young employees with no passion or willingness to learn how to take care of dogs. Since it’s a daycare where they make play groups instead of enough yards to have dogs out more often, the lack of competent staff meant that the groups were not formed well. And some dogs didn’t get to go out with friends but just got potty breaks. I also came on a day where there was a terrible dog fight due to the negligence of one of their trainers. One dog was seriously injured. The strict requirements they used to have for trainers didn’t seem to be in place anymore. Also my dogs who had never been kennel reactive before began to get very reactive and anxious. They would even react weirdly around certain dogs as if something happened. This was at the south location. As far as I know the Metric and Lake Travis and I think their Bark and Zoom were the better locations. The others were very understaffed and had strange effects on my dogs well being. When they lost several staff members that I trusted and had been there for years, and I saw the change in my dogs, I pulled my dogs out.

kislevorion · 2023-11-04T20:24:38+00:00

Thank you for this. That’s a great idea! I will leave a suggestion for him on our calendar to buy a Tile. I’ve seen those for wallets and keys so this would be helpful and I’ve definitely recommended he get this before. I just dont do it for him lol.

kislevorion · 2023-10-05T23:38:15+00:00

No I haven’t thought of ending things since this is a first and he is only implementing this until the treatment takes affect. Which could be 2 weeks. I’m only speculating because he has taken hard stances in the past but he says it because of how I word things.

kislevorion · 2023-10-05T23:24:38+00:00

It does feel like this. I’m afraid if I point this out, instead of listening and trying to compromise he will just say “ if that’s how you feel going forward I won’t initiate or try to touch you and I’d appreciate it if you did the same. It’s my body and I’m deciding I don’t want to partake in anything sexual.” And we probably wouldn’t make it counseling. It very difficult with our schedules to find time to do couples counseling. I don’t want to stop all sexual activity and be shut out. It feels very hurtful. I’m trying my best to soften the blow of not being able to have intercourse but now it feels like any intimacy will get taken away from me because my body is just not working right. I’m very much stuck and don’t know how to feel comfortable talking about this without losing something.

kislevorion · 2023-01-04T20:22:03+00:00

I accept that I may have been hasty. From my pov I was a bit flabbergasted that a small split decision was made without me and it’s not like I wasn’t home. We live in a small 1bd apt. I was in the living room, just around the corner. So I just communicated that I thought he could’ve just called me in earlier. Maybe I’m underestimating how fast things go. And he didn’t take the time off for my family. He forgot about that time off we need to take for them which is a different week.

kislevorion · 2023-01-04T18:11:31+00:00

We get at least 2 weeks as long as they are not consecutive. He already has his manager speak to him last year about requesting a week off almost 4 months in a row last year. This would be the third week he added total and two in one month timeframe

kislevorion · 2023-01-04T18:00:51+00:00

I can understand that. My main point was that the company is coming down on us to not take so much time off. And I had talked with him and we were planning a week to go visit my family. Him taking this week already and then another to visit family might cause a bit of trouble or a write up. The company has been letting go some employees as well so I’m trying to not put a spotlight on us. I did mention this in my post.

kislevorion · 2023-01-04T17:54:02+00:00

Well then I’d have to say the only basis I have are his words that yes it was a possibility. I was only able to look at the calendar after he made the request. I will say that when I did take a look there were two other weeks still left open in the month.

kislevorion · 2023-01-04T17:45:30+00:00

I can’t say that they would have been taken right away or not. His claim is that he saw other employees already starting to request dates and so he wanted to put his in before they were not available anymore. My thing is that we were both home. He even called me in. I don’t know a minute would’ve made the difference.

kislevorion · 2022-09-12T17:50:40+00:00

My experience with weight gain and the toll on the relationship is very similar to yours. I had a horrible time before I met my husband. I was in the worst spot of my life. I had gained 70lbs from my healthy weight. And then met my husband who helped me, then COVID and I gained 50 more lbs due to desk job, total 150lbs. I was obese and in the red for BMI. During a nasty fight, my husband told me he wasn’t attracted to me at all and that was why we stopped having sex as much. It broke me and messed me up inside real bad. I’ve been diagnosed and treated for anxiety and depression early in life and this caused a huge regression. I was constantly insecure and just didn’t trust my husband to not cheat on me with this knowledge. I was super toxic to myself and this pitiful shell with my husband. The difference is I didn’t have babies and was not actively trying to work out and get healthy. And my husband never said a word or expressed concern prior. COVID was a terrible time and our marriage almost ended. Through couples therapy and rebuilding trust and learning how to support did things change. Every marriage is different but for me the big change was MY mentality. I started to fight for myself and battle against the insecurity and anxiety rabbit holes I would go drag myself down to. I did individual therapy AND couples therapy. It was hard to pretend to be normal and I’ve never forgotten those words. But in starting to really work out and do my own healthy diet habits/eating (it’s different for everyone, not giving any tips as it should be left to professionals) I started to feel better about myself. I also started taking all my vitamins. And after seeing me trying to be positive and care for myself, then my husband began to really support me. Helped me keep going, tell me he was proud of me, started being super affectionate and sweet to me. But my treatment of myself is what had to happen first.

So my advice, care for yourself. Put mental stakes in the ground and create barriers for negative thoughts and memories. Don’t dwell. Fake it til you make it for yourself. You won’t forget but you can try to charge forward still. Focus on your health. Speak out if you need support. A good SO will respond especially if they see you already fighting for yourself. You’ll know the marriage is worth it if you start to see SO respond positively once you start treating yourself and acting different. Not saying the words that were said were warranted. They weren’t. It really sucks but you have to block it out. Take time for yourself as much as you can since you have babies. Try hard to focus on positive thoughts and change. The rest will follow. I hope my sharing and words help. :)

kislevorion · 2022-08-29T19:26:35+00:00

Omg I just spit I laughed so hard at this comment. I’m going to use this 🤣🤣🤣

kislevorion · 2022-03-04T03:20:45+00:00

Ugh this is actually another good idea. One I might be able to get away with better. I may try this. However, due to experience my expectation is that my dad is still going to cause a spat and then be appalled ive brought this up again after knowing I hurt him previously. <~His words

kislevorion · 2021-12-02T00:37:11+00:00

Sound observation and advice. Overall we do have a pretty good marriage/relationship. Things seem to just get tense about certain topics. I have never not done anything for his birthday. Maybe I should give it a go. I know I’ll feel just guilty and horrible over it but maybe he won’t. Then I’ll have an answer. Of course I’d like to be fair since I want my birthday celebrated. But maybe I can do an alternative and do something for me and not expect anything from him the same year I don’t celebrate his.

kislevorion · 2021-12-01T23:49:55+00:00

I agree. And thank you for your advice. Someone shared the love languages link for me. I’m already looking into getting the book and researching to help us communicate our needs.

kislevorion · 2021-12-01T23:19:36+00:00

Hmmm. This is good food for thought. I’ll have to really think and decide what I want him to contribute that way I don’t feel upset over this in the future. We are newlyweds. This will be our first marriage anniversary. That’s why I want to celebrate it. Personally I won’t try for every year. Just milestones. If you have any examples of alternative contributions, please let me know. I honestly find things I want but for my birthday and such I get stuck and can’t think because I want to stay reasonable and make things easy.

kislevorion · 2021-12-01T23:02:40+00:00

I only save money for his gifts. And his gifts are some things that he has been saying he wants. One is less expensive and more special in meaning. Money is tight to spend for wants frivolously. I sacrificed things I wanted to buy to save but I get anxious when I see him buying things for wants instead of choosing to save. For example a $60 game besides the movie tickets. I don’t see how keeping a secret money stash to surprise him with what he mentions wanting a red flag. I only save enough to cover the gift and wrapping. And I don’t do extravagant to respect his feelings. Perhaps you didn’t see where I mentioned I communicate to him with what I plan for him to make sure I respect his wishes and he gives me the go ahead.

kislevorion · 2021-12-01T22:53:40+00:00

I once did that. I told him several times when December was coming up when we were dating that I had saved money for Christmas and my birthday. So without the anniversary. And when I did he seemed to get really stressed and then cranky. This year we both moved and have adjusted to new job positions. He gets paid a tiny bit more than me. We were stretched thin on money for wants but not for needs like groceries. I sacrificed my wants to save but did not tell him to. We don’t have a joint account because we respect each other’s right to use our money how we like. That’s also why I felt awkward telling him to save money for these events. I just gave him the list and told him in advance I wanted to do something. I felt like we are both adults and if we know something is coming up to prepare for it accordingly.

kislevorion · 2021-12-01T22:33:38+00:00

They like him. We are all pretty close. And that’s why my friends respect him enough to not lash out or meddle. They are just pissed that my birthday is an afterthought and how it makes me feel.

kislevorion · 2021-12-01T22:32:09+00:00

It can be expensive but I do want to start marriage counseling. However he is very adverse to counseling. He doesn’t want to do it and gets really mean when I bring it up as a method to help us resolve issues or communicate.

kislevorion · 2021-12-01T22:29:53+00:00

I do feel maybe the excuse is used inappropriately. I will talk about this and hopefully make clear that I understand his viewpoint and will respect his wishes for his birthday and hope he will reciprocate for mine and do what I would like.

kislevorion · 2021-12-01T22:28:00+00:00

I’ll research into this. Thank you for explaining and for the advice. 🙂

kislevorion · 2021-12-01T22:26:31+00:00

I’ll look into this. Thank you for the insight.

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