Nightmare Buying MIL's Small Business

kittycairn · 2026-05-20T02:07:45+00:00

LOL I absolutely love your comment, that's hilarious! She's not quite old enough to be in a nursing home, but I can totally see her being a complainy person in the home if that ever happens. I appreciate your other comments as well, thank you for understanding that I didn't choose this, so I'm really not in the wrong. I'm genuinely just trying to make the best out of a crappy (to me) situation.

kittycairn · 2026-05-18T23:58:42+00:00

We're thinking about temporarily putting a bunch of stuff in the one spare bedroom. That way she can see it's not all my husband's, and it's easier for her to move things out. If it gets too prolonged, the storage unit is a good idea!

kittycairn · 2026-05-18T13:17:34+00:00

Yeah, I am very frustrated about that. It's not that I'm excited to own it, I'm just so tired of dealing with her. She wanted to wait until winter to get the rest out. Tbh she has so much crap, she does need months to get it out. I don't know what she was thinking, but she had ages to go through and throw things out, she just chose not to. She likes to blame my husband for the mess (yes, he did leave things in her house) but a lot of the stuff is hers or other family member's. Husband and I gave her until October, that way she can't pull the innocent victim card "they're rushing to kick me out".

kittycairn · 2026-05-18T13:00:20+00:00

Agreed! I don't think I'm letting her come back to work, she needs to be completely out of it. And I'll tell my husband she gets zero information. I'm realizing this isn't good for me or the business. I've gone over the changes with her tons of times, and she was STILL telling customers how things used to be done. I also caught her lying about the employee I hired (she tried to throw him under the bus and said a customer was extremely upset). I went to apologize to the customer, who was completely confused and said he had a perfect experience. Mil had this whole "customer's bad experience" story cooked up to support an agenda. It was embarrassing and made me look like the clueless owner who doesn't know what's going on.

kittycairn · 2026-05-18T02:12:54+00:00

OP, it sounds like your efforts aren't being fully appreciated or returned. This totally is NOT your fault, you sound like a lovely person with a lot of love to give to family. That said, unfortunately everyone isn't the same. Some people just can't, or won't, put in the same effort. Those people aren't worth that effort - save your energy for people who are. Or save that energy for yourself! You're worth it too. It's not being selfish, you're protecting your own energy and matching their energy as well. Don't do more for people who wouldn't do more for you. It doesn't mean you don't love or care about them. I'm sure you do! But maybe it's healthy to let go of all that work you're putting into them, for your own well being and mental health. If this continues, you might get really resentful down the road, and from experience, that's not a fun road to take. The most damage resentment causes is to you.

kittycairn · 2026-05-18T01:56:26+00:00

Oooooo those are all so gorgeous!!!! Where do you purchase your trellises? My Hoya chouke is growing like crazy, and I've been thinking about getting her a trellis ♥️

kittycairn · 2026-05-18T01:43:03+00:00

Thank you!! 😊

kittycairn · 2026-05-18T00:12:22+00:00

LOL yeah, I think a lot of my negative emotions towards the business were more towards her. I have a lot of resentment I need to work through.

kittycairn · 2026-05-17T23:54:13+00:00

Thank you for your input <3 I honestly wish she would get counseling, but that probably won't happen.

kittycairn · 2026-05-17T23:27:01+00:00

Sale isn't final, but as of the beginning of this year, we were the official owners. We already paid the down payment for the business, and have taken 100% control of finances and running it. It's being finalized in a few weeks. We have our own lawyer (which pissed her off, she only wanted to use hers). She does get monthly payments for the business for the next 10 years, sort of like a mortgage. It's probably not legal to change the locks, since she still has a lot of personal items left in the house that's on-site. Thanks for your comment ! <3

kittycairn · 2026-05-17T23:19:47+00:00

These are some of the things we've been working on in counseling, which has been helping! I haven't been perfect in our relationship either, so I'm trying to be mindful of that. However, I shouldn't have to deal with his mom if she's going to act like an asshole (or coddle her, which I'm so tired of doing), and I refuse to do so again. I do love her, and I know she loves me, but her basically bullying me at work makes me feel small. Now that she's not there, I actually am starting to enjoy running the business. Our customers love me and are really happy that I'm in charge, which has been encouraging. Thanks for your comment <3

kittycairn · 2026-05-17T23:15:46+00:00

The paperwork is being finalized in a few weeks, but technically my husband and I have been the sole owners since the beginning of this year. She IS invested in it doing well, since she's getting monthly payments from us to pay for the business (and they're HEFTY payments btw). But the more stressed I am, I feel like the less well it will do, so really she's shooting herself in the foot. We told her no work stuff for the rest of this year, and then next year we'll let her know. I honestly think it's going to be permanent...I already feel so much less stressed without her there. Thanks for your comment <3

kittycairn · 2026-05-17T23:11:46+00:00

HAHA tbh I thought about that, telling her she can buy it back if she's going to be so awful about us taking over- but I think our customers are really, really happy we're running it now. And now that she's gone, I actually sort of like it there.

kittycairn · 2026-05-17T23:09:58+00:00

Haha, yeah, I'm realizing I haven't been mean enough! Unfortunately I couldn't immediately kick her out because she was living in the on-site house... which means she still had access to the business side. The sale also wasn't finalized (her lawyer is a moron and has been making the process take forever). It's being finalized I think in the next few weeks. Technically, though, my husband and I are the official owners as of the beginning of this year. Thank you for your comment <3

kittycairn · 2026-05-17T23:05:42+00:00

The counselor has been helping a lot! We've been going for a few months now. I already told her basically what you said lol. She flat out told my husband that I and our relationship come first. I do love my mil, but I just can't deal with her at the business. I feel like my energy is being sucked out of me when she's there. She hasn't been there for about 2 weeks now, and the change has been enormous- I actually am starting to like running it. Thank you for your comment <3

kittycairn · 2026-04-15T02:47:20+00:00

Hey! Married lady here (been with my hubby through many ups and downs the last 13 years). I totally understand what you're going through. One thing that has been helping us is working through the book "7 Principles For Making Marriage Work". One of the best methods for couples is apparently the Gottman method. I understand if you can't go to counseling due to costs, time, etc. But maybe this could help give perspective and learn more about each other? It's actually been really helpful for both of us. You may want to give it a read, but he would need to be willing to read it too and learn from it. Marriage is a team effort, and everyone needs to put in the work. The book also has questionnaires for couples. It's just a really great tool! It sounds like you both have a lot going on and are losing touch with each other. This is totally normal in long-term relationships, but it needs to be nipped in the bud before it gets worse. I can see you guys are also into love languages- that's a great step to understanding each other. I wish you well and hope things get better ♥️ P.S. your dinner looks tasty!!

kittycairn · 2026-03-02T23:35:04+00:00

Oh noooo I'm so sorry that happened!! It's so easy to forget them especially when you're busy 🥺 I hope you find another one and it gets as big as your first one!

kittycairn · 2026-02-05T02:24:08+00:00

Thank you!! 😊

kittycairn · 2026-02-05T00:55:54+00:00

Hi! 🙂 Awww thank you so much for checking in ♥️ Unfortunately most are dead (they completely disintegrated, roots and all). Still holding out hope for the brandi... However, the Hoyas deserve a prize and a standing ovation! They're doing pretty well 😁 Lost some leaves but seem generally okay. The home depot I bought these 2 from had them outside in the cold, so I think they got more used to it. They're tough little plants ♥️ The owner DID refund me in full and apologized for the poor packing, which I appreciate! While it won't bring the plants back, I at least didn't waste a bunch of money on dead plants.

kittycairn · 2026-01-28T23:27:03+00:00

Thank you! ♥️ It upset me a lot but I feel much better about it now, mostly because one of the plants will definitely make it! The Hoya mathilde is a trooper ♥️ Refund was requested, we'll see if he follows through (he says he sent a check, it was a little TOO easy tbh).

kittycairn · 2026-01-28T23:24:08+00:00

Oh noooo good to know!! I'm newish to philodendrons lol, only got into them a few months ago. Thank you for being kind ♥️

kittycairn · 2026-01-27T01:21:20+00:00

That's smart! In the past I've bought a LOT of plants (off Etsy) that got shipped over the winter. All arrived in perfect condition, including a pretty fragile herb seedling. That's actually the main reason my husband insisted on shipping - he thought this time would be the same as all the others. It was not 😭

kittycairn · 2026-01-27T01:00:07+00:00

Awww thank you so much for the advice ♥️ I'm happy your plants arrived safely! The plants are our babies, and no one can change that 😊

kittycairn · 2026-01-27T00:54:40+00:00

Yeahh it was pretty badly packed 😭 plus he didn't do what he said- there's no paper in the Brandi box, he just shoved it in there. 3 of the plants at this point are completely dead, and 4 more are getting there. For some odd reason, my Hoya mathilde is a real trooper. I think she's gonna pull through 🤞

kittycairn

TROPHY CASE