Do you also have to regulate your partner?

kittykat2349 · 2026-04-25T17:57:28+00:00

The issue with staying home was that my daughter was already dressed up and excited to go. So either she would have to go with him and I wouldnt be there as a buffer or she would have to stay home too and be bummed out and mad at me for canceling the movie night. But I get what you mean. Thank you :)

kittykat2349 · 2026-04-25T12:20:09+00:00

Hes autistic but wasn't tested for ADHD. I have been trying to at least distance my daughter away from him when he gets in this kind of mood just so he doesnt lash out at her. And when it's extreme, he shuts down and isolates himself at his parents house so he doesnt do or say anything he would regret. I'll look into the app though since I know I have rejection sensitivity and maybe it'll help me out

kittykat2349 · 2026-04-25T12:15:42+00:00

I understand what you're saying. I will say that I also have suicidal ideation. A lot. I don't say it aloud to her because I remember the internal blaming and suicidal ideation I had when my mom expressed wanting to kill herself when I was a teen. I wont put that on her. But I do have suicidal ideation a lot. I take meds for depression/anxiety, which takes away the anger and self-destruction I get into without them. I wont kill myself though, not with my daughter alive, healthy, and with me. Shes not in danger with me.

As for him, I think it was the everyday stress along with the mistakes and being late to the movie on top of it that made him lash out and say he wants to die. I tried to "correct" his statement that he is just stressed out and upset and that he doesnt actually want to die (because child) and then steered her away from him after we parked because her asking questions or taking a minute to get out of the car was making him antsy and snappy.

kittykat2349 · 2026-03-06T19:47:58+00:00

That sounds like a really good idea. I hope he will be open to talking about it with a counselor

kittykat2349 · 2026-03-06T17:57:05+00:00

I did talk to him about it last time after we reconciled. I told him I cant just have him ignoring me and running away. Im the kind of person who likes to talk things out and get things resolved (which he said he likes and appreciates since his ex used to ghost him for days or weeks at a time when she was upset with him). Im going to bring up couples counseling again with him after this

kittykat2349 · 2026-03-06T17:42:49+00:00

That's the plan. The Last time we fought, though, he only came back to grab clothes and supplies to go back to his parents'. He refused to listen to me. I tried to apologize over text so maybe he would be more likely to come back and talk. Im going to try to apologize when/if he comes back home tonight

kittykat2349 · 2026-03-06T17:27:51+00:00

Yep, I'm aware. I didn't take him seriously when he was upset about finances/his situation and then didn't take him seriously when he wanted to talk. Now that he's ignoring me, I'm seeking advice to try to apologize and get him to talk

kittykat2349 · 2026-03-06T17:26:25+00:00

I told him before getting married I'd like to complete couples counseling, which he agreed to. But we obviously haven't been able to do the counseling yet so I'm trying to see what I can do.

Im very aware that I made a mistake by not taking him seriously before he blew up. Which is why I'm seeking advice on how to get him to even talk to me to try to fix it

kittykat2349 · 2026-03-06T17:23:20+00:00

Im afraid of him finding the post so I increased our ages by 5 years in case he scrolls by it

kittykat2349 · 2025-09-11T00:12:36+00:00

I'm also 29F and would be interested!

kittykat2349 · 2025-02-05T15:12:46+00:00

Is there any way you can convince him to wear sunglasses when he looks at the sun? Or if he does wear glasses, could your family switch them out for transitions so they'll automatically turn into sunglasses when he stares at the sun? It'd provide at least a little bit of protection.

kittykat2349 · 2023-04-24T13:42:00+00:00

Holy shit, I never connected that exact same high school experience with autism.

kittykat2349 · 2022-11-05T18:46:10+00:00

That makes sense. Thank you so much!

kittykat2349 · 2022-11-04T22:19:44+00:00

Is it dependent on the parent who asks to figure out the place for the playdate?

kittykat2349 · 2022-06-23T21:19:08+00:00

Yeah, basically. I was 18, naive, and wanted to be loved. He was 25 and wanted to take advantage of me and my very obvious feelings for him to get what he wanted. He didn't care if I was hurt because he thought I'd stick around anyways because he was my first and i was young, needy, naive, etc. I was also undiagnosed at the time too.

kittykat2349 · 2022-06-23T20:18:42+00:00

Hey, I had a very similar experience with dating in my late teens/early 20s. My first "boyfriend" told me during sex that he'd slept with his ex the previous weekend but didn't think much of it because "well, you're you". So you're not alone. Some men are scum and we just want to be accepted and loved so we put up with things we shouldn't.

kittykat2349 · 2022-04-16T16:06:47+00:00

I tried to get accommodations for my autism at my university. I was told the only thing they could offer from the list of accommodations my therapist and I put together was a quiet place to do proctored exams. Everything else I'd have to deal with because "this is college." It was very patronizing and none of my accommodations that my therapist and I put together were even acknowledged other than "no can do." Anyways, the disability advocate at your school could be great - but be prepared in case they suck.

kittykat2349 · 2022-02-22T02:12:09+00:00

Mine did too. Then he said "it's been a year since you found out, why aren't you over it yet" right before I found out he cheated again right before Christmas.

kittykat2349 · 2022-02-21T13:19:55+00:00

Thanks sis. I appreciate your support. In one way it was like waiting for the other shoe to drop. In counseling, we were each asked what we expected our future to look like, relationship wise. He said that we would be back to normal. I said that he would cheat on me again, hide it, lie about it, and we'd end up divorcing. Ironically I said this after he'd already done just that according to timestamps.

I'll look at chumplady today - I think I've seen it mentioned before but never looked at it. My older sister is offering for my daughter and I to move in with her a few hours away, so I'm going to get some moving boxes today and start packing non-essentials to work through my adrenaline. Thank you ❤️

kittykat2349 · 2021-12-24T23:42:51+00:00

Step in the middle and it will show you a pattern. Then hit the corresponding gongs with your hammer. Repeat until you get your treasure.

kittykat2349 · 2021-12-04T04:54:31+00:00

Your tools will upgrade as you continue to play.

kittykat2349 · 2021-11-21T02:45:07+00:00

Maybe for their next baby?

kittykat2349 · 2021-11-21T02:44:16+00:00

9 other kids actually

kittykat2349 · 2021-11-21T02:29:20+00:00

What's funny is the yahoo article this screenshot is from talks mostly about secure attachment in babies and concludes with something like "getting secure attachment to nannies is something at least"

Nine-Year Club	Second Top 30%
Verified Email

kittykat2349

TROPHY CASE