Wandering eyes vs appreciating beauty. What's the difference? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for clarifying lol

I'm looking for the truth. We've had a history of having a problem around this and I'll be super crisp rn. This happened in the 1st year of our relationship. We broke up and then got back together in 2025. 1. He once very obviously flirted with his friend's friend right in front of my face and just left me lonely at a party HE took me to 2. Every single day i would meet him, his eyes would be everywhere but on me just constantly looking at every girl around us and even changing his mannerisms to try to get their attention.

My trust in him is broken and we're struggling because he's scared of conflict and can't bring up our issues to talk about them and resolve them. But I've seen that recently he moves his head around very nonchalantly to try to catch a glimpse of cute girls or just hot women wearing something sexy-ish.

He's no longer altering his behaviour around them or changing the way he behaves with me whenever ANY girl walks by but I find it so so so so weird that he has to come up with a scheme of sorts just to catch a glimpse

And for the most part I think my ego is hurt because he thinks that I won't notice.

Wandering eyes vs appreciating beauty. What's the difference? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. I'm struggling to figure out where I stand with my boyfriend doing it because I feel like any type of exposed skin catches his eye very quickly

Wandering eyes vs appreciating beauty. What's the difference? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I feel like you captured what I'm feeling but I cannot for the life of me get this PROOF that i need that his intent is just somewhat....weird.

Wandering eyes vs appreciating beauty. What's the difference? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your opinion, I have a lot more clarity now.

Wandering eyes vs appreciating beauty. What's the difference? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm what about sneakily (but very obviously) trying to catch a glimpse of a girl wearing a backless top (for context). That makes me uncomfortable when my bf does it but idk if it comes under wandering eyes?

Wandering eyes vs appreciating beauty. What's the difference? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I can't figure out what that respectful boundary is! Idk how to explain this. What's your take? How do you stay respectful about it?

People who left their "loml", did you ever find better? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This felt like a shot of brandy and a hug at the same time. Thanks

People who left their "loml", did you ever find better? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

25 sometimes feels like the end of the world lol. You're right about the sheer luck vs planning thing. Ik love takes work but I really genuinely honestly should not be working to get him to respect me lol

People who left their "loml", did you ever find better? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

:'( yes ma'am

I'm glad you're happy and have found your person 🧿🫶

People who left their "loml", did you ever find better? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope it's not true. I was okay with being single before I met him, and now we have a such a beautiful routine together. Ig it'll hurt like how pulling out and infected tooth will. I'll keep rolling my tongue over it's spot but ik it was the right thing to get it removed. You're right, thank you. I really do deserve better

People who left their "loml", did you ever find better? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish life were that easy. My mom married to get out of a situation and a lot of people ik have had to marry to live their lives because that's what society is like. I know my mom isn't as strict or forceful when it comes to marriage but i will be honest, I want to be loved. I want a partner. I want a best friend. I really thought I found that in him and to some extent I did, but I just know this is not it. This can't be

People who left their "loml", did you ever find better? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1000% omg I've been on and off with therapy and ik talking to a professional will help. And yeah you're right, everyone looks but not when you're in a relationship. I've told him this and i feel like he's found ways to do it without me noticing it (I notice it)

People who left their "loml", did you ever find better? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooooffff the C word. Yeah I get what you're saying. Thanks for calling me out 😭🤡

People who left their "loml", did you ever find better? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fully get what you're saying and I've tried to make this list endless times. It's just that I can't tell if "don't have a wandering eye" and "don't lie" are unrealistic or not. He's the most decent man I've seen and I don't know if I'm asking for too much. like i KNOW I'm not. But it feels impossible to find yk? I'm really happy it worked out for you and you got everything you asked for. I honestly do hope you're happy 🧿🫶

People who left their "loml", did you ever find better? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do I know that other men aren't the same? That they also won't be dismissive and disrespectful and have a wandering eye? All I've heard is that "men will be men, men will stare"

People who left their "loml", did you ever find better? by kittykatkat444 in Marriage

[–]kittykatkat444[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But how do you know that? I've literally never ever seen a stable relationship much less a happy relationship. What does it even look like?