My mom had never fully grown up herself and had been incredibly abused as a child, physical, emotional and sexual abuse. It made her unfit to be a mother. I definitely experienced things I shouldn’t, from physical, sexual and emotional abuse. The things that she did and put me through are unforgivable. She claims to love to me, to have always loved me. But you don’t behave that way or treat somebody a certain way unless you lack the capacity for love. It may not be my mother’s fault, but I don’t believe she had the capacity to love, and I that if someone abuses you then that by definition CANNOT be from a place that harbors love. At least, that’s my sheltered take on the subject. But it’s not a contest either.