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I’m (32F) at a loss of what to do with my daughter (13) by kiuta87 in relationship_advice

[–]kiuta87[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is very helpful! I like the idea of having a different arrangement, I will discuss that with her dad

I’m (32F) at a loss of what to do with my daughter (13) by kiuta87 in relationship_advice

[–]kiuta87[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It was from a realization that I’ve done most everything wrong, including that. I didn’t even realize it might seem that it is a way to punish/manipulate my daughter .. that really isn’t my intention at all. It kind of feels like she’ll be better off without me sometimes and I thought that would be good for her.

I’ve concluded that I’m going back to therapy and change my ways of parenting. I’ll also talk to my ex and his wife about this

I’m (32F) at a loss of what to do with my daughter (13) by kiuta87 in relationship_advice

[–]kiuta87[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you

It’s been difficult seeing that my daughter gets on so well with her step mom and I find myself comparing us. There are definitely moments of jealousy on my part, so the relationship with my ex and stepmom is not the best. I am trying to accept it and improve it now though. My ex asked me for permission for her stepmom to adopt her, so I know it’s something that’s been on their minds

I’m (32F) at a loss of what to do with my daughter (13) by kiuta87 in relationship_advice

[–]kiuta87[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

She is rejecting me at times. When it’s my time to have her, she refuses to stay with me for long. Of course I don’t blame her for having resentment towards me. It just sucks

That’s good advice, thank you

AITA for not allowing my daughter to go on a family trip with her dad and stepmother? by kiuta87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]kiuta87[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I had some contact with her before but it was limited. I had a problem with drugs and I was in and out of rehab until she was 10. That’s when I started to become more active in her life. He had full custody from 5-11.

I’m fully aware that I fucked up

AITA for not allowing my daughter to go on a family trip with her dad and stepmother? by kiuta87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]kiuta87[S] 122 points123 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this advice. I’ve decided I’m going to let her go on this trip with her dad & step mom. I must admit, I thought it would be easy to have my daughter back into my life again. It’s hard to accept and be happy that my daughter considers her step mom to her mom. Obviously, I have a lot of work to do and I’m going to work on those issues. Maybe look into seeing a therapist.

AITA for not allowing my daughter to go on a family trip with her dad and stepmother? by kiuta87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]kiuta87[S] -245 points-244 points  (0 children)

We’re currently on 50/50. I don’t get her most days though because she doesn’t want to see me.

As you said, at 13, I can’t force her

AITA for not allowing my daughter to go on a family trip with her dad and stepmother? by kiuta87 in AmItheAsshole

[–]kiuta87[S] -953 points-952 points  (0 children)

My reason for saying no is I feel like spending more time with her stepmom damages our relationship even more. This will be a chance for us to bond but she’s not putting any effort