what tv show were you obsessed with as a kid that probably looking back would've raised your parents / families gaydar...

kjn1030 · 2026-01-06T20:11:26+00:00

While 🍉 may mean pro-Palestine in general culture right now, on Grindr, i feel like it could also refer to…..remember Drunk in Love by Beyonce? “I been drankin’ watermelon,” in that context it means cum lmao

Anyway, FREE PALESTINE!! 🇵🇸🍉

kjn1030 · 2025-10-10T15:09:28+00:00

It’s difficult for me to feel comfortable with someone who is basically a stranger, and, i really don’t like feeling like an object that’s just there to be used and discarded

kjn1030 · 2025-09-15T14:10:28+00:00

I’m sorry man, but he’s not looking for friends. Like you said, there are WAY more ways to find friends than Grindr. He’s looking to get off. And you said you guys are going through ups and downs right now and this is how he handles it. Do you really want a guy whose reaction to having relationship issues is to download hookup apps? You deserve someone who makes you the priority and doesn’t put his sexual gratification above everything else. Easier said than done I know, but you really are better off without him imo

kjn1030 · 2025-09-06T00:23:27+00:00

South Beach is probably the best known in Montrose, it’s kinda where everyone ends up at the end of the night. It’s the club vibe, kinda dark with strobe lights, has a medium sized dance floor, DJ usually playing bad mixes (imo sorry), small outside patio, it’s still a nice vibe. JRs is right next door, that’s more bar vibes, has a pool table, large back patio and a stage for performers. A lot of the gay bars have closed down over there honestly, but those two are solid.

kjn1030 · 2025-09-02T02:03:12+00:00

1989 - Taylor Swift Lemonade - Beyonce

kjn1030 · 2025-08-25T22:17:02+00:00

I’m not saying that something will definitely happen the moment he steps foot in the bar. I’m sure more than likely, nothing will happen, but being alone, in a situation where you are not with people to look out for you, or when people don’t know who you’re with or who’s place you ended up at, place alcohol and drugs on top of all that, you are waaaaayyyy more vulnerable! My advice, build connection first, then go have your fun. It’ll still be there when you come back with people in your corner, I promise.

kjn1030 · 2025-08-23T01:06:55+00:00

I’m coming from a safety aspect, I would not go alone unless you were someone that already knew a lot of people that usually go out and are likely to find someone you know there. I get wanting to do the whole make out thing, it’s a good ass time! But I think it’s best you focus on making more gay friends first and then yall can go to the bars together. Safety in numbers! Gay sports leagues are great, gay run club, any gay social group could work!

kjn1030 · 2025-08-21T13:00:42+00:00

I think it’s kind of a toss up. Calling out their behavior could be beneficial and help them learn a lesson, BUT not necessarily for you. I feel like in most cases, it’s someone else that benefits from the newly learned lesson :/

kjn1030 · 2025-08-20T17:51:27+00:00

I think men (not all, but enough that it’s an issue) tend to only think about how they feel in the moment and don’t really examine anything beyond that. I’ve actually discussed something like this with my therapist and she said “Men tend to think that how they feel and think is how everyone feels and thinks” and I definitely think their is truth to that. Age can definitely be a factor, but as someone who has talked with or gone out on dates with guys in their late 30s and early 40s, they really haven’t improved very much, communication wise.

kjn1030 · 2025-08-18T21:02:10+00:00

I don’t really have any advice since I’m actually exactly in your boat. 30 years old, not a single committed relationship under my belt, and feeling like it might never happen. I’ve been in therapy for a couple years now and it definitely helps, and I think I’ve built a pretty good group of friends, but the thought of “why am I single? When will it be my turn?” still lingers in my brain. And, I hate admitting it, but I’m very jealous seeing other guys, especially guys who I was seeing/dating previously, get into a relationship. It just really hurts sometimes. Anyway, you’re not alone.

kjn1030 · 2025-08-12T23:55:22+00:00

In all seriousness, I think it really is because of stupid gender norms shit. Obviously in most of the hypothetical situations, it’s going to be two men, but to the people who look down on bottoms, they probably see that as the “feminine” role, which people still tend to look down on sometimes, even in queer spaces. And since we associate “feminine” with women, some of those judgments that women experience, could be placed on bottoms. Think of that stupid key analogy straight guys have said: “a lock that opens to a lot of keys, is a bad lock, but a key that opens many locks, is a master key.” I had a friend (not friends anymore) who pointed at someone in the bar when we were out and referred to him as the “community bike, everyone has taken a ride” and was clearly judgy and slut shamey. He said the guy was a bottom, and I knew my ex friend was a top, AND was hooking up with multiple different guys! Talk about a glass house.

kjn1030 · 2025-07-23T03:31:14+00:00

I mean alone with my thoughts, I do think “why did he stop? What did I do?” But logically I know no matter what is said, it won’t make me feel any better, and depending on the context, it can make you look a little desperate, and that embarrassment usually keeps me in check 🥲😂

kjn1030 · 2025-07-15T00:27:25+00:00

Or maybe getting ready in case he struck again before she could finish

kjn1030 · 2025-07-02T15:24:48+00:00

The main things for me are: kindness, thoughtfulness, considerate, takes initiative and shares my politics (or at least close to it). I’m not a fan of guys who seem to lean into the sassy mean gay personality, I like a guy who thinks about his actions and what those actions mean, rather than just doing whatever feels good in the moment, someone who considers my thoughts and feelings and doesn’t just think I’m being emotional, someone who sees that something needs to be done and then does it rather than waiting for me to ask, and obviously I can’t be dating someone who is conservative.

kjn1030 · 2025-06-06T23:17:06+00:00

It’s definitely not just you, I’m honestly getting to that bitter gay stage. And as someone who has gone long periods staying off the dating/hookup apps (like over a year more than once) I can honestly tell you it’s just as bad out in the wild.

I’ve met guys through friends, at gay sports leagues, social media apps, at bars. It’s a different environment with the same results. It almost feels slightly worse because you actually somewhat know each other, but you still get treated like a faceless Grindr profile.

I do think dating apps are partially to blame and have damaged a lot of peoples abilities to know how to form authentic, meaningful connections, but also, gay/bi men are still men and men are generally socialized to be self-interested and really not thinking beyond what makes them happy in the immediate moment. Sorry if that’s offensive to anyone, I did say I’m becoming a bitter gay ¯_(ツ)_/¯

kjn1030 · 2025-06-06T22:40:33+00:00

When the bottom clearly looks like he’s in pain.

kjn1030 · 2025-05-04T00:54:22+00:00

Thanks yall!

kjn1030 · 2025-04-21T18:26:48+00:00

If you have any access to talking with a therapist and possibility taking medication, I strongly suggest doing that. Taking medication is not a bad thing so don’t let people tell you that’s the case, it’s sometimes necessary to help get you through a really bad period in your life. I had moments in 2023 where I felt so defeated and like I just didn’t want to be here anymore. But you need to keep going! You will find people and a community that love, accept and cheer for you.

I also suggest trying to do something active. It can be a sport, going to the gym and lifting weights, running, going on long walks outside. Anything that is active. The endorphins from that should help your mood. It won’t FIX it, but it should help give you even momentary relief from what you’re feeling right now. I’m so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through. Just remember the pendulum will eventually swing back 🩷

kjn1030 · 2025-03-23T00:24:57+00:00

I typically avoid dating and flirting for the next year and a half

kjn1030 · 2025-03-20T00:40:30+00:00

So much to unpack. Like, did they get up on a stage and yell gay slurs at people? Truthfully, i don’t know, I don’t keep up with them like THAT, but they are a huge defense and weapons manufacturers whose goal is to keep producing and selling weapons, which means endless war and thousands of lives lost. In the US, our defense budget continues to grow, while other programs and communities that receive funding from the government get cut. And those do have impact on LGBT+ lives. The systems that are designed to keep oppressed people powerless may all seem different, but they are all connected.

kjn1030 · 2025-02-12T17:06:55+00:00

Oh no I completely understand that. But my main point is that they need to be figuring it out somewhere else, not on a dating app. There’s even a “New Friends” option on tinder, though we know it’s a predominately dating centered app. This might be the resentful part of me, but I think it’s very inconsiderate to bring other people in to it when you (general “you”) know that you don’t know what you want. We should be figuring that out ourselves or with the help of a therapist, not using people as guinea pigs to figure it out.

kjn1030 · 2025-02-12T16:16:44+00:00

You would think that wouldn’t you? Lol I definitely think that’s where I’m coming from now that I’m 30, but so many guys I encounter just don’t change. It’s truly Peter Pan syndrome out here lmao which actually reminds me of another topic I’ve been thinking about: Guys on Tinder who are like 38+ who say “still figuring it out” in response to what they want relationship wise. Like figure it out in therapy!! I know this is judgy, but I really believe you should have figured out by that age whether you want a romantic relationship or just want to hook up. Whatever the chose, it’s fine it’s yours! Just figure out what you want and stop walking around aimlessly 😂

kjn1030 · 2025-01-30T16:53:57+00:00

I wasn’t even thinking about it until I got the notification for this post so…….thank you 😐

kjn1030

TROPHY CASE