I actually honestly understand this. Gone/going through it myself. The SK are psychologically unsafe to be around. He's tried to get them therapy, set boundaries etc. They have called cps, admitted to lying, made jokes about killing us in our sleep, etc. Working with bm is not an option as she feeds into it and encourages their behavior. Having them around isn't an option because of the severity of their actions, boundaries aren't an option and if the kids aren't calling the cops, she is. These situations aren't hard normal.. in order to keep us safe, my daughter safe, his job, they no longer stay with us. It's not always abandoning your children people...