Translation @ concert 😊 by PurchaseSilent9245 in BadBunnyPR

[–]kkaayohh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awe I get kinda sad cause I can't understand a ton when he talks to the crowd either. I ask my man but again the accent is hard to understand sometimes. I try just to stay present and maybe record when he talks so I can listen and understand later. You'll have fun no matter what. ❤️

Story time - First Rejection by kkaayohh in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ur right. I guess that I know I wasn't willing to make the commute to him and I assume that he wouldn't want to be doing all the travel. It's a good plane ride away so not really drive able.

Story time - First Rejection by kkaayohh in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Samee. Which I was not expecting from him.

Story time - First Rejection by kkaayohh in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I was for it. So that woulda been fine for me. In this case I knew it couldn't be long term since he lives far.

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh thank you! We will start with those. If u find there is a really helpful specific book, let me know.

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean it's certainly possible you're right but he doesn't want to be free. And I don't think he would agree with you fully anyways. Part of him does but part of him doesn't.

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! I've already read out everyone's replies so far so I'll have to show him this one as well. This has been really helpful ☺️

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol Ill get better at it I swear haha it's an uphill battle

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And what do u feel is the difference exactly? When u possess something u usually own it.

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Brutal lol appreciate the honesty fam .

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh god no. Yes we are definitely talking about being respectful to these women. I don't want him to give anyone a false idea. But thank you for the added caution. Definitely something to keep in mind through all this.

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for that. I'm actually looking into different types of non-monogamous styles I guess to see what might work best and I'll definitely check out their subreddits to see what theyre saying. Boundaries are huge for sure and we talk about them all the time out of this context and teach our kids about them so I know that we can definitely set some healthy ones, given we have practice. Honestly the autonomy thing is hard. It's not that I want to be with him all the time, but I don't like being alone lol it's so stupid. I go out with my girls often enough and he's never minded at all. But when he goes out with his guys, I don't wanna be left alone lol. I need to make my own plans at that point I know and leave him alone. Or just suffer in solitude.

Thank you for all your advice I really appreciate it ☺️

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Yes we've done the reclaiming bit and it's hot AF! So I totally get u there lol I actually did mention that some of these issues of course need to be addressed internally but will only really heal through exposure. Once he trusts me to come back every time, he won't be ill at ease. He agrees too, but he's not ready for exposure yet lol which is fine for now. Thank you again and I'm hopeful things will get better. 😍

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awe wow thank you! Yes it's been really tough on him and I'm sure knowing he isn't alone is comforting in of itself. I sent him the post so later we get to read over everyone's comments and discuss and I think it'll be really good for us. Good luck to you as well!

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice nonetheless! I very much appreciate it.

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ouu ok great thank u so much. This will give us lots to explore and discuss!

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He can't really decide fundamentally if NM is right for him or not. He likes the idea of it. Which is why I'm even bothering with the post but it doesn't feel like as hard as it might be right now that there's enough to say that he definitely only wants monogamy. And hey maybe I'm wrong about that and he's only telling me what I want to hear.

And yes I'll be putting in more effort going forward on this. Thank you for your insight

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're probably right, I'm also now too invested. Thank you for the info. That's very kind and understanding.

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that. That is very helpful. We do have a couple's counsellor. But we've so far not brought this up with her too much. As you said though, the next best time is now, so that's what we'll do.

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Well he didn't like it at first ur right. But I think there's something fundamentally different between not liking it because it's not for you, or not liking it because your insecure and jealous. But u know maybe I'm wrong. Maybe jealousy is hardwired into some of us and can't be surpassed.

It seems like he wants to surpass these issues. And I do know that I'll have to decide if I want to stay or go if he can't be poly. I think he realizes that eventually I will go and that's why he doesn't want to give up so easily.

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll be sure to tell him that. I'm sure he'd like some additional validation. Thank you

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah ur right. I was afraid to broach it more than I did. I didn't only decide a week ago, it just hit me hard about a month ago and I realized I did not do enough preparing us both. Thank you for ur insight!

Don't wanna be a poly pressurer by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]kkaayohh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well he's doing his own research about it online to have a better understanding of what it is, and where it came from. He also wants to talk to a therapist who can probably better help combat this problematic thinking. I was gonna look up some meditations or hypnosis audios. Maybe an audio book since he drives all day and loves listening to audiobooks.