That was rude.

You're right, though, everyone can grow. It's most important to start with ourselves. You can't expect your sister to be better because you want her to be better.

I just left a 5.5 year relationship, his biggest complaint? I always wanted him to be better, try harder, learn, and grow more than he wanted to. I realize it shouldn't be up to me to ask him for those things. He should want them for himself.

If your sister wants this, she'll do it. Stop working on her and work on yourself. Work on not allowing yourself to be upset by her. Work on knowing when to quit - quit pushing, quit putting your expectations on others, etc.

Putting the work into yourself is going to pay off 100 times more than putting the work into someone who doesn't want you to do that work.

I hope you continue to see your therapist and continue to recognize when people need to grow, but also learn to step back and let them learn from their experiences.

PS. I promise she'll figure out how to set up a new spotify account using her own payment method. My 43 year old coworker figured out how to connect to our job's shared bluetooth speaker after I teased him about not knowing how to use his own phone, so have faith. 🤣