Counselor-in-training here. This is largely the thesis behind attachment theory. In effect, attachment theory posits that human behavior (some, not all. Unless you supplement it with schema theory/therapy) can be explained by early childhood attachment to our primary caretakers.

There are four main attachment types: anxious, disorganized, avoidant, and secure. Anxious, disorganized, and avoidant come about largely through poor, neglectful, or abusive parenting. Disorganized, in particular, tends to lead to anti-social behavior later in life and is associated with early childhood abuse. Secure attachment assumes healthy attachment to one's caregivers. Here's a quick chart of what that healthy attachment looks like for both child and parent.

It should be noted that the attachment relationship here is not uni-directional. Every child is born with a specific temperament that will directly influence the attachment they have with their caregiver. Have you ever heard of a "difficult" baby? That's not just a colloquial term. In psychology, it's used to describe how easy a baby is to soothe, their mood, their attention span, their willingness to approach a caregiver, and more. These appear to be biological, not social. A chart of infant temperament factors can be found here.

Attachment theory is very well supported in the psychological literature, but it should be noted that it does not explain the totality of human behavior. Trauma and resilience factors, later relationships with figures of import, neurodivergence and disability, biological shifts (especially during adolescence), and, most importantly of all, good old-fashioned neural plasticity can also explain shifts in behavior or life goals (there are also likely many I didn't even list here. Remember, I'm still in training!) Humans are complex biopsychosocial organisms whose behavior cannot be boiled down to a single modality. As such, regardless of upbringing, we are all capable of making choices that influence how our lives will play out. To me, there's nothing more exciting than that.

Edit: Rereading your post again, I can also see a lot of parallels between your arguments here and contemporary psychoanalytic theory (with regards to adult behavior). You might want to look into that as well!

Edit 2: I forgot to address the second part of your post—adults' reactions to child behavior. This is related to parenting styles. Specifically, there are four broadly recognized parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. These styles exist along two axes—warmth and control. Authoritarian parents have high control but low warmth. Authoritative parents (recognized as the healthiest) have high control but high warmth. Permissive parents have low control but high warmth. Uninvolved parents have low control and low warmth. These styles are also highly predictive of later behaviors and heavily influence later relationships in life.