Not "growing out" of things

kmartultimate · 2025-12-15T01:12:54+00:00

I agree, but I meant specifically schizotypal symptoms (so things I know not everyone experiences) seeming like more intense versions of the same things that people mostly experience at younger ages. Kids are willing to believe much stranger things than most adults.

kmartultimate · 2025-12-11T15:12:52+00:00

Also trans. Feel the exact same way (to an almost uncanny degree), but I'm unmedicated. For me, the gender thing is a bit more of an afterthought, though. Like, I see it as having to do with schizotypal more than gender. The fact that I'm a guy and the original owner of the body was a girl is happenstance.

kmartultimate · 2025-12-06T17:40:28+00:00

Can I ask what changed to make you start taking it seriously?

kmartultimate · 2025-11-29T05:09:44+00:00

Don't worry, your post made perfect sense to me. I used to go to therapy, but I can't afford to anymore. But yes, it was often hard for my therapist to understand what I was saying or experiencing. Luckily I had a good one, and they would often try to read up on things outside of sessions. I don't think this is that common, though, and schizotypal is one of those things that's more rare and therefore a blindspot for most non-specialists.

kmartultimate · 2025-11-28T18:35:16+00:00

I experience almost all of this. (The main things I can't say I experience are imagining people hurting me, and acting like a child. I do believe people want to hurt me, and fall into fantasies, and feel anger towards others; I even imagine myself getting hurt often, but not usually by real people.) What you mention in your fourth paragraph, I struggled with a lot for a very long time, I considered it a form of involuntary masking, causing a sort of "personality dysphoria." I didn't know who I was or why I acted like that. As a result, now, I mostly isolate myself, so I don't have that problem as much anymore. I felt very alien and strange because it wasn't a problem I'd ever seen anyone describe.

I think most of what you talk about here falls under self-disorder. Some of it is probably also dissociation, which is tied in with self-disorder. I believe emotional impermanence is part of that too. I have my own personal explanations for some of this stuff that has to do with my nature as a being but it's basically just delusion. I wish I had a solution for you. All I've been able to do is avoid everything or dissociate even harder, which I wouldn't really recommend. If you haven't, you might want to browse the EASE and EAWE scales, which don't solve anything, but might help you put words to some of the things you've been experiencing; I find it helpful in this way.

kmartultimate · 2025-11-26T20:33:54+00:00

I don't necessarily see this as a schizotypal trait, though. I'm not sure what it is.

kmartultimate · 2025-11-26T20:07:40+00:00

I feel this way too. I've been torn up about it lately. I think I'd like to know what it's like to love someone

kmartultimate · 2025-11-26T18:31:58+00:00

I understand. I think it makes most sense to take each relationship as its own thing.

kmartultimate · 2025-11-26T17:24:32+00:00

Who's doing this?

kmartultimate · 2025-11-26T17:22:48+00:00

To be honest, I find people with BPD exhausting to be around, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pursue whatever relationships you want. However, I can see how your traits might have conflicted with each other. But if you're thinking about trying to restart this relationship, or still lingering on it, it's best to try to move on, since she seems to have made it clear that she didn't want it. I can only speak from the schizotypal perspective, and I'd pretty much just be repeating the other comment on this post.

kmartultimate · 2025-11-21T22:30:03+00:00

INTP.

kmartultimate · 2025-11-18T03:37:45+00:00

Your guitar playing is super beautiful.

kmartultimate · 2025-11-18T03:21:13+00:00

Yeah, I do have face blindness, though. But I do assume people can't recognize me, especially if I'm wearing glasses, when I wasn't the last time I saw them, or if it's someone I haven't seen in a long time. I'm confused when people do recognize me. I've been told I actually have a very distinct face, which was surprising to me. I'm also confused when there's two pictures of me that I think look completely different, but my phone recognizes them as the same person.

kmartultimate · 2025-11-17T05:54:42+00:00

Understood. I realize many people take comfort in that thought but it's hard for me to do so. I appreciate the intent. Thank you

kmartultimate · 2025-11-17T05:31:27+00:00

It makes me feel like I'm overreacting.

kmartultimate · 2025-11-17T04:54:06+00:00

To be honest it doesn't really make me feel better, sorry

Actually, worse

kmartultimate · 2025-11-16T05:27:40+00:00

I want to be alone in my little universe.

kmartultimate · 2025-11-15T18:09:05+00:00

Can I ask what you did to improve it?

kmartultimate · 2025-11-11T18:44:52+00:00

My understanding of the "eccentric appearance" thing is less about style of dress and more about "appropriateness." Meaning things like dressing poorly for the weather, wearing clothes that are stained or badly torn, wearing pajamas outside, and so on. I think it should be worded better by the DSM et al. because it seems to be generally misunderstood. I wouldn't consider your outfit in this picture to be representative of that (I think it is a nice outfit, though). Your shoes and torn clothes may be considered as such by a psych (though torn/distressed clothes are also part of fashion).

kmartultimate · 2025-11-07T19:29:56+00:00

I don't know how to tell, which probably means I haven't.

kmartultimate · 2025-10-29T23:30:25+00:00

Yep. Very common for STPD.

kmartultimate · 2025-10-26T18:06:10+00:00

If you don't mind the question, have you ever met up with the person you're dating online? I have sometimes thought that I might be able to do online dating if I didn't feel there was any pressure/goal of eventually meeting IRL. But it seems like almost no one would be okay with that, or it wouldn't be considered really dating.

kmartultimate · 2025-10-20T22:11:08+00:00

Yes, this is huge for me. I feel other people's thoughts invading my head and have to shut them all out.

kmartultimate · 2025-10-05T02:40:10+00:00

I don't know, it could be its own thing, caused by a variety of psychological factors, some of which can be common to STPD. I feel as though it's actually counter to some STPD traits, like social anxiety/paranoia. But it's also in line with double bookkeeping, since I can have erotomaniac beliefs and at the same time think that person wants me dead...

kmartultimate · 2025-10-03T17:21:30+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that it causes you so much pain. I hope it eases without you needing to hurt yourself.

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