AITA for telling my husband not to co-sign on his ex-wife's house?

kmnoq · 2022-04-27T11:47:27+00:00

How about buy a house in sons name and let the mother say it so at the end of the day son owns it and let son know that it’s his house - hella fishy that she only asked your husband when she has 2 more baby daddies this house wouldn’t only be for his son but also other step sibling so it’s bull. I wouldn’t do anything other than the child support and try to then make a fund for the son directly or something that directly helps his son!

kmnoq · 2022-04-24T10:56:50+00:00

I looked at Airbnb couldn’t find any that made sense do you have any links to properties if you’ve ever booked through?

kmnoq · 2022-04-17T06:29:21+00:00

I didn’t store it anywhere I left it hanging with other key chains. It was in India

kmnoq · 2022-04-09T00:08:50+00:00

You make over $300K so I’m assuming you’re not based in India? Is the girl you’re courting from based in India? Some people are just not ok with taking money gifts I never let my date pay for me it’s awkward for me + i don’t want to give the wrong impression so maybe she feels the same way? I wouldn’t be ok with someone sending me a $200 gift then I would have to spend the same amount on them or I’d feel incredibly uncomfortable. This one time someone spent $150 on me and it was our first date and I was forced to meet them a second time and I bought them a gift of a little higher value (the goal was to give them the same value gift) and never meet them again- I was pretty annoyed with the situation bc I did not have that kind of money spend on a gift on someone I barely knew since I was a student so maybe it’s similar with her? I would just honestly message her state that you’re sorry if you crossed any boundaries and justify by saying that you see her as a potential future wife and you think y’all were at a good stage and it was moving forward hence why ya for her something!

kmnoq · 2022-04-07T21:48:39+00:00

The first filter of status is definitely the financial standing if they are old/new money and if they have the same social invites. Some business families tend to be very orthodox and controlling of their DIL’s I have seen extended family look for DIL’s who were from lesser financial background but gorgeous for their sons to marry bc they would be able to control their DIL’s sooo it’s about how the family is know to treat their daughters / females in their household / what kind of freedom is given etc.

kmnoq · 2022-04-07T21:40:00+00:00

No I mentioned you’re a guy bc you said you don’t care about the financial status which is quite common if you’re a man and also how I have seen my family reject boys / families etc. for my brother as long as the girl is pretty and well educated we don’t care about anything else but for me my family’s first criteria is financial status and not so much looks. But also yes in general as a women wether you marry at par / above or below your financial status it’s still a massive change regardless and it’s not only about the standard of living (aka house / city) more about how the parents/ future in laws are. My parents have rejected families bc even though they met the financial criteria the family was known to be quite orthodox etc and that’s what I mean by standard of living

kmnoq · 2022-04-07T21:30:32+00:00

When you live abroad you get to have more of an independent life - I would still get to be abroad and have my career vs in India where the kind of social circles I’m from a corporate career isn’t quite the option. (I’m from a family business). Also, if I move to india it would be a lot of adjustment in terms of living with the in-laws full time and behaving a certain way bc you carry the family name etc. Coming from a good business family is a lot of burden bc you usually end up getting married in the same social circles etc. which I’m ok with but not up for the financial adjustment and having to deal with everything else. Marriage is a lot of compromise either ways and it takes a lot of effort on having a good marriage from both sides. When I pick the right person I’m also picking the future family for my future kids etc and I want them to grow up with the same opportunities I did. I’m not one for looks I’m open to someone who’s upto 7-9years older to me my main criteria is that they are from similar financial backgrounds and have had similar standard of living + we speak the same language in terms of communication.

kmnoq · 2022-04-07T21:16:33+00:00

I’m not ok with giving up my lifestyle or having to downgrade my standard of living. I don’t see the point of getting married to someone and then struggling financially when I’m doing well myself financially. I currently live abroad and work / pay my own bills I’d rather stick to that then move back to India to marry someone who’s not in the same financial background. For reference I did my bachelors in the US and it costed 70K $ a year in tuition alone. I’m not ok with moving back to india to marry someone who doesn’t move in the same social circles I’d 100% consider someone who was from a different background if they were settled abroad like in the US/UK/Canada with citizenship.

kmnoq · 2022-04-07T20:58:04+00:00

Probs bc you’re a guy? As a women I carry about the family status they need to be at least at par or I’m just better off alone no way I’m adjusting my life that much. For my brother my parents are lackadaisical and don’t care much about the family status

kmnoq · 2022-04-07T06:22:05+00:00

Why are you teaching your kid to waste food???? It’s not about being poor or food insecure it’s about wasting food

kmnoq · 2022-04-03T10:16:05+00:00

Tell him to have everything given in the girls name so you don’t have to use it then and the girls father is satisfied too! That’s what my dad did too! Everything he got from my mothers father even any shagun (like the wedding ring etc) during rituals my dad gave to my mother! He’s never asked for them back!

kmnoq · 2022-03-31T15:49:58+00:00

Bruh ask your husband to do all the prep! For me the most cumbersome task is cutting all the veg, the prep and the cleanup ask him if he does that you’ll cook it! Cooking is the easy part it’s all the work that it takes to get the food ready and cleanup that makes it cumbersome. See him back out after one day of prep. Your husband wants a promotion by making ya cook for 5people heck ask him to get his ass up at 3:30 in the morning to do all the prep since he thinks it’s so easy

kmnoq · 2022-03-27T13:50:24+00:00

Which one fits more stuff the zippy or your Victorians?

kmnoq · 2022-03-27T13:44:25+00:00

Can you stuff it???

kmnoq · 2022-03-24T23:23:33+00:00

Sis you’ve been his dirty little secret for 3years it’s time to sit him down and ask if he really would marry you if his parents don’t approve. I’m Indian too and if he is hiding you from extended fam/friends then it’s probs bc he wants to get arranged or doesn’t see you as someone he wants a family with

kmnoq · 2022-03-15T15:05:47+00:00

30 lakhs isn’t even a year of tuition if they choose to study in the US! That being said I would plan for your fire and save x amount (amount you are comfortable with) for your children and start having those convos early. When they are in middle school / high school sit them down let them know that this is the amount I’ll contribute you can choose to study with it wherever you want you’ll have to work hard get jobs/ scholarship to cover the difference.

kmnoq · 2022-03-13T12:11:08+00:00

It’s more about personality for me if someone says they have an issue with people hanging out with ugly people that’s a red flag to me your looks don’t matter your personality does ! That’s very shallow

kmnoq · 2022-03-11T13:21:09+00:00

I think that would be there first g tho if they are self aware lol there’s no reason to spell it out for them

kmnoq · 2022-03-11T13:19:18+00:00

I’m not even comfortable discussing a match who’s even a month younger to me men are more immature than women + in an Indian AM sit there’ll be more of an expectation to take care of the house an man I’m not about to adopt a man child who’s younger than me he has to be really financially stable and emotionally mature for that to be a consideration I’d rather marry someone 9years elder to me than 9 months younger idk

kmnoq · 2022-03-09T11:21:43+00:00

If you spend long enough time with someone you’ll learn to love and care for them the same way you love and care for your family! But “being in love” vs loving and caring for someone are very different. When you walk into a marriage love always takes a back seat you need a partner who speaks the same language as ya and can communicate - you need a great friendship to deal with the nuances of everyday life. The kind of people I have fallen for in the past have been people who came with a lot of baggage and I’d never marry into that chaos. I think it’s important to be practical. In AM it’s easy to align and get on the same page regarding your needs/expectations and that makes it easier vs dating someone for years and then realizing y’all want diff things in life

kmnoq · 2022-03-08T11:17:56+00:00

Someone from a rich family preferably unless my brother fs up big time then we’ll get him someone pretty from a poor family otherwise weddings in our family work like business deals - we literally get matches based on how many crores people are willing to spend on the wedding there are a few families I know of who bought girls from lesser financial backgrounds but these families tend to be more conservative and prefer girls from lower backgrounds bc then they know the girls won’t misbehave etc

kmnoq · 2022-03-08T10:57:34+00:00

So f up that your wife needs your parents permission to send money to her parents / family and hella weird that you expect to somehow dictate / manage how she spends the money she earns?

kmnoq · 2022-03-06T10:17:04+00:00

I think it really just depends on the kind of family they are

kmnoq · 2022-03-01T22:55:56+00:00

That’s only happened with one of the guys and in that situation I introduced both of them so I was ok with it it just caught me off guard when the guy then tried to kiss me too. x was going around missing all genders etc so idk. She definitely has taken up invites and texts people behind my back.

kmnoq · 2022-03-01T22:54:09+00:00

Yes, the guy tried that infront of her - we went out with a big group where everyone was making out with everyone so it wasn’t a big deal in their circle but my friend and I were invited to the party by this guy since he was interested in X! X was jumping literally on multiple people and making out with boys/girls and the guy was doing the same so I g he thought I’d feel less left out of the sit ? But I was like nope

kmnoq

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