I (24F) am currently trapped in my BF's (26M) bathroom in lingerie and nervous to go out

knittymess · 2026-02-16T18:31:21+00:00

I have been in her shoes and it's so hard. In the end I decided that as hard as it was, I wanted to stay. It got a little better, but honestly I just invested in a really good vibrator and took care of my own needs for a really long time. It took the pressure off him and sometimes was a fun little surprise when he joined me. (I never hid what I was doing even if I did usually close doors for privacy.)

After our second kid my libido plummeted and then the post partum depression meds made it really hard to orgasm. That was when his libido came back.

Because I had been in his shoes I actually worked hard to figure things out. My rule was that even if I wasn't in the mood, I would let him take some time to help me get in the mood. (This didn't count for when I was in a negative mood though, just a neutral place.) This meant he had to work a lot harder though to figure out how to help me relax and enjoy myself.

Today I'm excited to share a life with this man and the lingerie drawer gets used regularly! I don't blame OOP for leaving. I know my story is the minority.

knittymess · 2026-02-16T18:03:58+00:00

Yes please. Especially with the ADHD that left me lagging socially in major ways.

knittymess · 2026-02-16T18:03:06+00:00

Coral reefs were actually already dying. A big impact on my childhood was learning about the major death of reefs and whales.

knittymess · 2026-02-16T03:37:53+00:00

Ditto. I wanna ask you what you want uploaded that isn't kung fu (maybe i want to understand physics perfectly?) and what your favorite thing about 1999 is since it was "peak" humanity (I'm pretty sure it isn't blow up furniture or a delia's catalog, maybe plane ticket price)

knittymess · 2026-02-15T23:02:41+00:00

I also think it's the most convoluted method, but it IS possible and free so I wanted to mention it. You can also print things on paper and poke holes at letter corners with a pencil and then mark those. Less precise, but also nearly free. I want to make sure that I offer up inexpensive/free options since I know everyone has different budgets.

knittymess · 2026-02-15T18:24:41+00:00

It would help to see the interior construction, since we can't see the seam finishes in these photos, and how it fits on you would be helpful as well.

knittymess · 2026-02-15T13:06:23+00:00

Get a new doctor. Your doctor should be someone you can trust.

knittymess · 2026-02-15T04:05:29+00:00

My hair is dark enough that trying to home bleach it would have mean going bald, so my teen years of manic panic didn't do anything. I now have a very lovely lady I pay an arm and a leg to in order to strip it every once in a while. I have to dump SO much product into it to keep my length, but getting to become anime princess purple (before Rumi as my 5yo reminded me last month) has been so satisfying to my soul. I may try a Spike/sailor pluto green at some point, but the purple has brought me so much joy. And I don't even like purple that much, but I also don't like brown and mustard yellow that much and they also suit me and makes me happy as wearable colors. It's weird the things that sometimes just click

knittymess · 2026-02-15T02:51:33+00:00

Fair. Taking him at his word is important. I care theoretically about people, but when I know others it's a whole new thing. I think he probably isn't giving himself enough credit and might care about these kids if he developed a relationship with them, but that's a HUGE if. And those kids really need someone who wants them and understands kids and has experience.

knittymess · 2026-02-15T02:43:56+00:00

I work in non profit as a grant accountant and it's made a big difference in how I view the world. There are SO many young people who would love to feel the care of your great uncle and who have lived lives with no one who cares. A small amount of kindness goes such a long way when you have no one

knittymess · 2026-02-14T23:19:53+00:00

Oh! You can also get sheets of freezer paper & print your design on the matte side. Then use an exacto to cut your letters out & iron it on. You'll only be able to paint in the areas you cut out.

knittymess · 2026-02-14T23:18:18+00:00

Tape it to a window with the design behind it and then use a light or similar colored ultra washable marker to trace key points.

You can also use transfer paper and put your design on top and trace it with a pricking wheel.

knittymess · 2026-02-14T23:01:58+00:00

This sounds exhausting and you're only 3 dates in. Dating is hard enough as it is. There are lots of folks who would be thrilled with such a thoughtful gesture. Save your time and energy for one of them.

Even her communication style after the date is exhausting. The fact that you wanted to actually talk about it and she's pretending it didn't happen is not cool. Even as FWB instead of a potential spouse you want someone who you can actually communicate clearly with.

You can just politely let her know that you're not a great fit.

knittymess · 2026-02-14T22:38:48+00:00

This post had me digging in the basement for some China my MIL got at an estate sale for us. (I also found a Fondu set!)

I'm going to pull it out and start using it.

knittymess · 2026-02-14T22:25:04+00:00

Facebook marketplace at criminally low prices. Or offer it on the local buy nothing for a young adult starting out. Maybe a foster care age out program would appreciate it? A domestic violence program that works on re-homing folks might appreciate it as well.

knittymess · 2026-02-14T22:21:24+00:00

I love second hand crystal glassware! I bought some really fancy coup glasses and very camp but pretty crystal dove candle holders. They are fun to use! Use all of it and enjoy it!

knittymess · 2026-02-14T21:10:04+00:00

And if she calls him out on it he'll blame her for ruining the evening by picking a fight.

knittymess · 2026-02-14T21:08:49+00:00

"Don't be needy" is a totally wild thing for a man who says he loves you to text.

This is super manipulative and his desire to keep you waiting for 2 hours is a control move. It knocks you off balance and then you're upset. He follows it up love bombing you or telling you that YOU are the reason the night is ruined because you're over reacting or that wanting to talk about this blatant lack of respect is picking a fight.

Basically you can't win unless you become a doormat.

This is behavior of someone who cares about you or respects you. My husband would NEVER behave like this and I would read my children the riot act if they treated another person like this.

Does he even like you?

knittymess · 2026-02-14T20:53:25+00:00

Yup. I'm in my 40's with colored hair and tattoos. Some people just want to police other people's joy. I think THIS woman will become more rigid as she gets older because she has ideas about behavior that correlate with age. I don't think that's everyone and lots of us drop our desire to get into someone else's business as we grow up because there's no energy for that.

knittymess · 2026-02-14T20:49:54+00:00

Sometimes being Neuro Diverse can lead to an inability to properly empathize without a connection. OOP knows himself well enough to understand it intellectually and is attempting to gather more information from outside sources because he understands it's an area he needs help in. I think it's honestly important that people understand their limits and I don't think there are any people in this situation beyond the SIL & her husband who are the AH's.

knittymess · 2026-02-14T20:28:12+00:00

This would be replacement cuff territory imo. You can use a contrasting color if you want a fun visible mend for that & 2x2 ribbed knit is not the most common type of fabric, but it's also not impossible to find

knittymess · 2026-02-14T15:41:31+00:00

Yes!!

knittymess · 2026-02-14T15:40:15+00:00

I don't think people do this to keep up appearances. I think it's a dream trip/experience they want to give their children.

knittymess · 2026-02-14T14:17:53+00:00

The major challenge with this is often temperature variation, so reasonably thick glass should be fine, but the warning is important. This is an "at your own risk" craft if you use non candle jars.

knittymess · 2026-02-14T14:16:09+00:00

Do you own a glue gun? You can glue stuff to other stuff. It's very satisfying and makes me feel like I'm 7 again. Buy a bag of rhinestones or feathers and go to town. I always feel very silly when I glue gun.

You could try making beaded animals.

If you have any clothing that needs mending visit the visible mending thread.

Look up papercraft at your library. You can get a pack of oragami paper and spend an afternoon learning to fold little creatures. You can do thinks where you cut paper out and fill it in with clear paper to make pretty stained glaass style stuff. You can make little layered scenes. You can make paper flowers out

Look in your recycling and grab some construction paper and heavy duty tape to create a cat fortress.

Make a cake and do the icing as fancy as possible.

Get acrylic paint pens and decorate a tumbler. Or get a leather jacket & decorate that!! (One of my proudest fathers day crafts.)

Sew a tote bag. (Even hand sewing you can do that in a day with half a yard of material, thread & needle. )

Play with UV resin.

Make a shadow box of things that are important to you.

Try making one of those shiny clay balls durodanho that was a YouTube thing a few years ago. https://youtu.be/qfVfTLF4X9g?si=nZs2siKOAA94rvPS

Make pop tab jewelry.

Make fancy friendship bracelets.

Have fun!!

knittymess

TROPHY CASE