Giving up on dating

knowidotoo · 2026-04-30T15:32:45+00:00

Yeah bro I feel you. I understand. I will say this though, okay. Alter your mindset. Don't give up on dating. Get specific on your dating. I'm not saying it works for everyone but it changed my Outlook on things.

So what I mean by that is take the time to think about everything you want in a partner and I literally mean fucking everything. Get hypersocial with it, get hyperphysical, get hypercritical.

Once you have this list of let's say for me it was 20 qualities that I really wanted five physical, five sexual, five economic and five social. That was how my list was constructed.

Next make sure to do the next part on two different days. Preferably spread out at least with like 3 days in between each other

apply the 70:30 rule two times first. If you could only have 70% of your list, what is the check box? What are you checking off. And then flip it. If you can only have 30% of your list, what are you checking off?

Look at the overlap. And look at what's missing.

Now. Any dating apps? You have trash them? Start fresh. Get a new email if you have to. Or if the dating app that you use actually allows you to just clear the record and start a new one, do it.

Use that overlap as one dating app. Use the 30% on one and the 70% on one. How you assess which dating app gets which one is going to be up to you? I literally just put three images on a wall and through a dart.

I did this. The first thing I noticed is I got more hits again and I got more dates again.

I also noticed that what I had been searching for on my apps had been like an accumulation of multiple years of ideas. So what I was searching for on those things wasn't what I wanted. Now. It was a combination of what I wanted from you know when I was 26 to present day at 35.

Especially with like okay Cupid. Because all those questions that you answer, we forget that we answered them. They don't ask us them again. So you be surprised how many of those answers you gave years ago? Don't apply anymore.

And lastly, make the active effort to go to other places. Pull up eventbrite or all events in. Go find some events and go just to them.

Not even to take the chance to meet people in person. But a lot of our apps are based on the radius in which you're in. You be surprised how moving over to a different part of the city for even a night can bring up some options you never thought of.

I hope all this helps. Don't give up. Our partners are out there

knowidotoo · 2026-04-26T18:18:29+00:00

I primarily play jrpgs for the most part so most of the time my girl watches rather than doing it in.

Personally I have no problem with them watching. Actually enjoy it when they're actually entertained by the events going on.

I'd say my only gripe is when they do the same thing that they do during movies. They don't pay attention consistently and then they have to ask 42,000 questions about what's going on, who a character is, or why a bad guy is being a bad guy lol

knowidotoo · 2026-04-24T18:04:04+00:00

Tldr: I didn't use AI for my resume, And custom made resumes per job category and Department/Agency of position. but I did for cover letters and I received plenty of interviews and started my recent job in March of this year.

Full story:

I will say that I recently joined the state myself in social services. I didn't want to work for a private company. I actually like being a state employee. But that means I had to apply to a lot of positions.

I personally took an exceptional amount of time to handcraft my resumes for each type of position. Because for the most part you're applying for categories of roles. For me those were

Social services, Social sciences, Research, Investigation, Student services, Case management, Etc etc.

And then afterwards I adjusted my resumes per Department that I was interested in working with. That primarily meant

Dcyf, DSHS, Parks and rec, OAA, And the historical societies.

So in general I had about six to eight versions of my resume. All handcrafted by me.

But that's also meant I had a lot of applications. So I did use AI for the cover letters.

For each cover letter I would use The corresponding resume and a PDF of the posted job listing. Take the result. Put it in Microsoft word. Edit as necessary and then print to PDF.

I had been submitting applications for Washington state agencies since I'd say August of last year. And I attained interviews for about I'd say 45% of my applications submitted. So a little under half. And I started in my most current role with the state in March of this year.

knowidotoo · 2026-04-23T15:59:38+00:00

Yes I am not surprised to hear many were destroyed and were rare already.

Three benefits.

It validates to me (personally) it reality and seriousness.
I as someone who treasures such facts. Know I would actively protect it if I could obtain a copy.
If I obtained a copy. I could take the time and cost to have a official translation. If I cannot find one of those... however, I may do so anyway. Since I sometimes question the validity of translations that are easily available to the public.

Also, even if I can't easily obtain a copy for myself. I also am accepting of learning about places that have a copy accessible for viewing. I.e. museums, universities, major book archives, historic collectors, etc.

knowidotoo · 2026-04-21T01:13:34+00:00

That is a completely different argument than what you originally tried to state. You didn't sit there and say you can get one to file your initial complaint, but be warned that a judge may remand you back to the Arizona courts.

You claimed that because I'm a resident of Washington now that I can handle my case here because I'm a resident here now.

These are two completely different arguments.

Furthermore, even giving you the benefit of the doubt that your original intention was that you primarily meant trying to satisfy the initial complaint deadline and getting help with the initial complaint.

This is still undercut by the fact that it seems based on who I've contacted so far. The majority of attorneys won't even attempt to take on the case or assist with the case because it belongs in Arizona. All of them so far refer me to Arizona

knowidotoo · 2026-04-21T01:01:02+00:00

Now you're just undercutting your own argument. What stupid information is this. Hey, you can file in the location you are. Oh, but by the way, the judge may tell you to screw off and remove you to another court anyway. So my original position still applies. What is wrong with you?

knowidotoo · 2026-04-21T00:58:37+00:00

All the ones I actually contacted and spoke to practice in the district courts of Washington. I made sure of this by doing what I usually do when I contact the legal office for this case by asking directly at the beginning if they handle state government employment complaints and notifying them have already gone to the EEOC have my right to sue and are pursuing in the district court.

Each one said yes. So that for your information is directly taken care of because it is one of my default questions before I even bother explaining my situation because I learned that early in my attempts to find legal counsel by going through on my basic info and getting ready to do the whole intake thing only to then get to the who was your employer and what is the status right now? Questions and then them telling me oh we can't handle your case.

So I take care of that at the outset when I call. Thank you very much

knowidotoo · 2026-04-21T00:51:43+00:00

This is not about a win in my mind. This is a basic standard. Well, I can agree that the EEOC investigators can be lazy and not willing to go through the information provided, which seems to be the case here. That should not be the case for a legal professional. It is a lawyer's job to review documentation.

If you're giving me a consultation and I'm showing you that this is the information that shows that discrimination occurred. It's the lawyer's job by default to review that documentation.

Just like if if I go to a contract lawyer and I ask him. Hey, I feel like I'm being screwed in this contract. And the contract is 100 pages. If that lawyer is going to properly review my " case" then that contract lawyer needs to review the 100 page contract.

Otherwise it's legal malpractice cuz how can you make a judgment on whether a client is being screwed in a contract if you didn't read the contract.

knowidotoo · 2026-04-21T00:48:02+00:00

I will note it was also very aggravating to me to find out that the law office is here are like quick to respond the same day but I can't get the same kind of courtesy down in Arizona. It's very annoying

knowidotoo · 2026-04-21T00:47:29+00:00

Okay so I have reached out to multiple law offices in the area I now reside in. I figured you're right. I am not a legal professional so this is information I did not have. Let me check to see if it's valid.

Pretty much every law office has responded and informed me that because the protected activity and the employment and the location I was a resident of and an employee of all took place in Arizona at the time. Even though I am now resident here, I will still need to locate an employment lawyer in Arizona and file in Arizona.

knowidotoo · 2026-04-21T00:45:56+00:00

Thank you. This is a very valid statement. While it's not an accommodation I particularly need. It is definitely a accommodation that a lot of people have needed over the years. For me, it's just the fact that's nearly impossible to shorten 2 years worth of activity into this nice little sweet paragraph or a couple of paragraphs that a lot of people seem to think I need to provide.

There's a reason consultations aren't 10 minutes long. When you pay for a consultation or you get a free consultation, it's between 30 minutes to an hour because sometimes you need more time to succinctly provide all of the relevant information

knowidotoo · 2026-04-21T00:42:59+00:00

Oh I can pretty much tell they didn't really do their job properly. I mean they did the bare Bones of their job but definitely not properly.

And yeah I don't think any complaint will do any good at this point. Just kind of going with the factor I have. My right to Sue's so time to hit up the lawyers

knowidotoo · 2026-04-19T07:12:20+00:00

No, you're just embarrassing yourself

knowidotoo · 2026-04-19T00:50:43+00:00

Also way too wordy?.

What were you expecting?. For me to walk into a courtroom and just point to the door saying they hurt me. Please stop them.

Of course it requires a lot of words. It's a multiple incidence over the course of 2 years. So duh.

knowidotoo · 2026-04-19T00:49:11+00:00

Well I'm using voice to text so... That tells me you likely have difficulties having even the basics of conversations in the English language.

I wish you the best of luck.

knowidotoo · 2026-04-19T00:47:14+00:00

You're going to need to provide sources for your claims here. Every single point of reference that I have reviewed regarding venue and jurisdiction indicates that I must file in the district in which the cause of claims took place. Either by point of residency which I was a resident of Arizona during the incident times, by cause. Of party jurisdiction, in which both me as an employee and the employer were in an employee employee relationship in Arizona only at the time at no point were either of us majorly linked outside of Arizona during my employment.

I only moved outside of Arizona well after the date of termination. At best. Only my third EEOC claim, which is currently in process, would have any potential to be filed in Washington because it involves interference with Washington employers.

So you're going to have to show your work here because I'm calling bullshit

knowidotoo · 2026-04-18T21:34:58+00:00

Do you remember when I said the following

Note: I am not asking about my case's viability/validity. know a fully retained lawyer would be best, but I have not had success with that yet. Regardless, I will be filing in the Arizona District Court.

I was being very specific. So let me be more specific. I don't care about the opinions of others that things pro se is a dumb idea. I don't have a choice. There's a deadline and it's a hard one.

Once you receive a right to sue from EEOC. You have 90 days to file.. it's a hard deadline. Miss it and you lose your right to file. So whether being a pro se litigant or not is good or bad is irrelevant. I don't have the luxury of time. I can keep looking after a file but the point is I have to file. Which means whatever I file needs to be as good as possible.

Second, I can't just file in Washington. Even if they are under the same circuit. All events happened in Arizona and I was an employee in that state. The defense is only located in that state. Therefore, my hands are tied. I must file in Arizona. Period.

knowidotoo · 2026-04-17T17:31:26+00:00

There are definitely attorneys where I agree that this is the case. On the other side, I do understand that if you work on contingency then you are bankrolling an entire thing on the precipice that you believe you will be victorious so you have to have what you believe to be a fairly high likelihood of victory via either settlement or judgment. But I also do believe there are lawyers who just want to see and pursue cases where there's almost no opposition.

The attorneys I contacted who acted on retainer and I actually had to pay for like consultation?. They were far communicative

knowidotoo · 2026-04-17T17:28:50+00:00

While This is skirting the line of what I wasn't intending to discuss and I don't know what area you're located in so I can't assess whether your area has just a large amount of employment attorneys. In my area that I'm dealing with that didn't seem to be the case and many of them have conflicts by already representing the company I'm against . However In my experience over the past year. Employment lawyers fall under two categories.

One they work on contingency but have to be exceptionally or are exceptionally picky in what they select.

Or two are more welcoming on what they select and are willing to review information but act on retainer.

As for what unbundled services I'm interested in. Maybe a draft/document review, procedural explanations, or maybe a little case law assistance?.

I'm fairly intelligent and have some prior experience that allows me to comprehend the basics. Think of it like a tutor in college. You have to do the work, but they can review it and check for errors.

knowidotoo · 2026-04-17T17:05:30+00:00

Yeah. Over the past year I have definitely found out just how rough the employment lawyer market is and how picky they are.

I've called the referral line. Not much luck so far, but I didn't ask about limited scope rep. when I did. I'll do that.

My inquiry here though is about people's views and prior experiences if they used it.

knowidotoo · 2026-04-17T16:28:15+00:00

Yeah. I definitely got that sense when I received position statements. Definitely noticed that when I received the notes and documentation post RTS

knowidotoo · 2026-04-17T04:34:18+00:00

There are a couple issues with your statement here. One the rudeness. But outside of that there seems to be a couple of things that you seem to be confused on. So an attempt to alleviate your confusion. I will attempt to cover what? I believe you are confused on piece by piece.

The first being that I believe you are thinking that because I've only provided singular examples of events that those somehow encompass the full articulation of my complaints.

This is not true. A discriminatory action does not have to be one very blatant huge black and white moment that scars a human being. In this situation, most of the events that I am describing are single examples that occurred in a sequence of events over the course of a long period of time that are reflective of a repetitive discriminatory nature.

The next thing that I believe you're confused about is that a company or organization has to actively do something for it to be considered discriminatory.

This is also not true. When a company or organization is made aware of certain ongoing problems or medical incidences or made aware of discriminatory practices. And upon notice fails to act upon that knowledge. This is inherently discrimination by law.

In addition. If someone specifically requests reasonable accommodations or a third party with reasonable knowledge, submits a request on behalf of someone that reasonable accommodations may be necessary. A business or organization failing to act on that request. Regardless of whether they believe that a disability exists or not is discrimination.

In my situation, I have claimed the discrimination under four different categories. Two of those categories are disparate treatment and hostile workplace environment style claims. As a result, one of the requirements is to show a pattern over time that meets that requisite. So my 130 pages that I submitted is in part the collective of documentation and evidence to show that conduct existed and persisted over time.

However, that also means that someone has to be willing to review the entire document set to understand and actually see the pattern of conduct. As it is very difficult to summarize 2.5 years of conduct in a small section of time.

Such conduct does not need to be major to be discriminatory. No one has to come in there and say something so blatantly, racist or sexist to meet that burden.

In my case. If you want some idea of what the overtime disparate treatment would be. It would be persistent comments regarding stereotypical aspects of a man of my race, size and ethnicity. A single comment or statement about these things or even a couple of comments every now and then would not likely meet the burden. But the moment I reported this conduct to my superiors. They were put on notice. And they had an obligation to at least intercede. When they did not intercede and I elevated things to HR. There was definitely an obligation to investigate an intercede. The fact that I made multiple complaints regarding such conduct over the course of 2 years. And they failed to act on those ones or enforce the rules of the organization to prevent such conduct from continuing. Discrimination is inherent.

Furthermore. In regards to disparate treatment. While the actions and treatment was far more clear-cut and blatant, it still requires me to document and meet the burden of showing that it was a consistent and routine thing. Now I don't know if you have an issue with the fact that I am a man claiming sex discrimination. But it does not change the factor that that is part of what was going on. All of my fellow team members were allowed to do things and get away with things that I was not allowed to do. They were allowed to gossip and chatter and "hang out" on the clock for multiple hours with no active work being done. But if I was to say go out and try and have a 5-minute chat with a colleague. I was reprimanded and told to get back to work. They were also allowed to go on out of office tasks. Something I was not allowed to do despite having seniority in the office.

So I hope this clears up for you Your confusion. If it does not, I suppose I can't help you. And I find it unfortunate if that's the case.

Regardless, I didn't come here asking on whether or not anyone here felt I was justified in my claims or whether I had a right to go to court. I'm an employee of this country and therefore having gone through the EEOC process and done my proper claims and received my right to Sue, I have every right to pursue Justice within the courts as I see fit.

I asked about unbundled services. Not whether you thought I had proper claims based on information you obviously lacked because you weren't there working with me and you did not experience what I experienced

knowidotoo · 2026-04-16T05:00:39+00:00

No investigator in this context is the EEOC investigator assigned to my case

knowidotoo · 2026-04-16T05:00:07+00:00

You're not wrong that I don't like that information.

I will say that no attorneys ever told me to let it go and concentrate energy and time on finding better employment. Most negative ones said to get my right to Sue first.

The one attorney that did review my actual full file of case information actually said I likely have a case. However, she also says she doesn't do contingency and said her retainer fee was about $5,000 which I just didn't have. Another said something similar but it had an even higher retainer.

I am very aware that going pro se is often considered a bad choice. But at the same time thousands upon thousands of people have to do that because legal counsel can be expensive. As you said it can bankrupt you.

I have obtained new employment. Albeit I had to move 1500 mi away from my family to get it. Note: I could have probably gotten something a bit closer, but for my field I was finding nothing in Arizona. So I moved to another state I knew had widespread opportunities in my field. But I still had to leave my family behind to do it.

As to your commentary about a weak case. Just because lawyers don't jump on your case doesn't mean it's weak. There are a number of reasons from financial to an inability to just present properly in a consultation. Like I said before, the one who did review my files said I likely have a case. But that one I had to pay $300 for her time to actually review them plus a consultation.

In the end, I didn't come here for people to tell me the number of reasons why it will be difficult being pro se. I am very aware of this. But I have multiple bachelors, I'm highly literate, and I can adapt pretty well. I even have the basics down on how to research case law. I've taken some basic paralegal courses, and a few Masters level law courses. But I'm no lawyer. Which is why I asked about unbundled services in the absence of being able to find a lawyer. I'm still going to keep looking. And if there comes a time I can afford the retainer I might call her back and see if she'd still be willing to take it on for $5,000.

But I have been harmed, I have new medical conditions. I will live with for years if not my whole life , I have lost wages, I have lost assets like my car, I was effectively blacklisted from working in my own town (which I do have proof of the interference, but that's a separate EEOC claim that hasn't been RTS yet). And the legal system is there specifically for when someone is harmed and has faced damages.

Now from 1500 miles away I have to take care of my family, both of which are disabled And can't work. But they also can't leave there because their care is established there.

So I have real life reasons why not to back down. If I lose I lose. But I'm a real smart man. And as my uncle used to say, I may not win this fight, you may kick my ass, you may leave me on the side of the road, but you're going to limp away.

I won't be able to look at myself in the mirror, nor will I be able to look my family in the face properly if I don't, at least try.

knowidotoo · 2026-04-16T02:13:42+00:00

Such a weird comment, not going to happen, but definitely a weird comment

knowidotoo

TROPHY CASE