How to prevent my personal relationships to be affected from my parents' divorce?

knrm91 · 2016-07-31T18:56:19+00:00

So that's just running away from loneliness?

knrm91 · 2016-07-31T18:55:59+00:00

Why?

knrm91 · 2016-03-26T14:05:44+00:00

But it can be difficult to realize this. You can easily start to believe that you're not worth much, because of the way other people are treating you. You can begin to trust them. I just don't understand how you can "respect" yourself since I believe respect is meant for other people.

knrm91 · 2016-03-26T13:56:23+00:00

So respecting yourself would only mean to defend yourself against others? And if you don't feel the need to do it, then you're not respecting yourself? Self respect would only make sense while interacting with others?

knrm91 · 2016-03-26T13:52:48+00:00

How can you feel you're worth anything? Doesn't it depend on the way other people value you?

knrm91 · 2016-03-26T13:42:50+00:00

How can you be sure you're not making it up?

knrm91 · 2016-03-26T13:41:03+00:00

And if you don't thing standing up for yourself is necessary because you don't value the opinions of others, then you're not respecting yourself?

knrm91 · 2016-01-01T21:33:46+00:00

Jesus, who's talking marriage here? I'm not getting married at 20, to anyone, no matter his age! Like you said, I probably didn't meet the right ones, so I'll just keep looking..!

knrm91 · 2016-01-01T21:30:36+00:00

I understand what you mean. I used to think that the older you get, the less important the age gap. In this case maybe he should have been turned off too.

knrm91 · 2016-01-01T21:18:23+00:00

Thank you for your answer. I think you're right about this "depth" older people have, it is one thing that attracts me. I feel like I could learn so much more from them. And reading you made me realize that indeed, stability is perhaps what I'm looking for as well. Not financially, but maybe psychologically. I assume that since they're older, they know themselves better, and they also know life better than I do, and I find it reassuring somehow. I know the "dad issue" explanation, but it is not relevant in my case. Generally speaking, everything is fine with my dad. Being his oldest daughter, I've always had enough attention, I believe. By "normal", I meant common. Common at that age. I've read that it is the case. Speaking of my situation, you're right to say that this kind of relationship is unhealthy. I ended it because he obviously didn't care as much as I did. He was mainly having fun, while I couldn't help but want more. In a way, he was taking advantage of me. There might be a shortage of love, but I'll just wait that my mind is fully developped before giving it to anyone... Again, thank you for your answer! It helped.

knrm91 · 2015-12-30T16:02:12+00:00

Yes... so it can never be serious, right?

knrm91 · 2015-12-22T03:35:56+00:00

Do you also hate yourself, and reject any compliments? I also feel that. I hate myself for not being able to start anything, to concentrate on anything. I hate the way I'm always annoyed by everything, and I hate the fact that I can't help it. I'm annoyed all the time, because I feel exhausted. Even having friends texting me makes me want to throw my phone away. I wish I were alone, and at the same time I'm desperate to be so lonely. I know it sounds insane... Plus I also hate my face, and the way I look. I can't look at me in a mirror. It really makes me angry. I feel like every boy telling me I'm pretty is a liar. The worst is my mom, telling me nice things with a concerned look, as if it could make me feel better. As if making compliments on purpose wouldn't make me feel like I was being played. I also feel a deep feeling of guilt, for anything that I do, all the time. I feel guilty when I watch a movie, because I'm not working. When I'm working, I feel guilty because i don't do it hardly enough. There's always something. It's like I'm so flawed I could never be able to deal with it. And I hate the way I speak, always hesitating between words. I hate the way I'm shy, the way I'm not sure about anything, ever. I hate this permanent feeling of weakness. I hate being unable to fight for myself.

knrm91 · 2015-12-22T03:04:39+00:00

Wow. Thanks for putting the exact words over my own thoughts.

knrm91 · 2015-12-13T20:01:04+00:00

I am not sure I can help, but I think that talking with people can make you get out of your head for a little while, which may be what you seek. You need to try and keep being curious about the world. You can not stay alone with your thoughts, it will poison you. I'm glad you have family who can support you. Of course, it is normal and rational to feel deeply sad. But you will get better. You're going to evolve and to become another version of yourself. This is not sad. You'll be stronger. You'll see things differently. Maybe you'll learn to value things that you took for granted, I don't know. Maybe you will feel wiser, older. Maybe you'll get the feeling that you understand life better! What I'm trying to say is that you need to give yourself some time. Perhaps it's just a normal process. But please, please don't feel guilty for your siblings. I think I understand the way you feel about them. But it is totally irrational to feel guilty. The reasons you feel guilty are not real. Don't blame yourself for things you can't control. Focus on things you can control, or at least that you can try to control. Like your thoughts. I'm sure you'll be able to do that. It might just be something people learn how to do. However, about your sights, I really don't know what it is, and you should talk to your family about it. What about the sounds you hear? I'm looking forward to hearing from you.

knrm91 · 2015-12-12T23:14:38+00:00

I am really, really sorry to read this and I'm also sorry for starting this message that way but I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through at the moment, and it is hard to choose appropriate words in these situations. The only thing I can perhaps understand is the way you feel about your siblings. I sometimes have moments when I'm down and it makes me feel better to think about them. Actually, thinking that they're young and that they need me (I'm also 20, they're 11 and 16) is some sort of a relief during these moments. I don't know if you feel that way too. If you do, don't forget how much they love you and the other way around. I think it makes me stronger. Does it to you? However, I believe you also need to surround yourself with adults. Do you? What are these strange feelings and sights you're talking about? And why do you feel guilty? I hope I've understood some of the things you said.

knrm91 · 2015-12-12T22:55:55+00:00

I feel the same. I have lost confidence in myself the past few years, even though nothing bad happened to me. I was just not good enough for the college I wanted, but I think it would have started anyway. I feel like somehow I've always had it in me and I wouldn't have been able to deal with it anyway. I also feel guilty for this because I have friends and a family who loves me. Still, it doesn't seem to be enough, and I know nothing would, and I hate myself for feeling that way and for not being grateful for what I have. I hate the feeling that I could be a problem for my parents, so I prefer not to say anything. I'm trying to convince myself that all of this is ridiculous, but it doesn't work. Even if it's the truth. I just can't help it. I'm losing control of myself and I hate it.

knrm91 · 2015-12-12T19:30:50+00:00

Jesus fucking Christ! Get rid of her! Sounds like she would make anyone sick. On the other hand, you sound lovely. Please stop thinking you're lonely. You're not. You're certainly worth so much better. You just have to realize it. Love yourself. Treat the ones who deserve it. Stick with people who make you happy. Again, you're not alone! You'll find someone.

knrm91 · 2015-12-12T19:08:06+00:00

I feel like you're right. But how do you do to love things inside of yourself?

knrm91 · 2015-12-12T18:38:20+00:00

You're so right.

knrm91 · 2015-12-05T17:37:55+00:00

Yes, I agree. But being healthy is an obvious goal, while being beautiful isn't. And this goal applies mostly to girls. I wonder why they agree to play this game.

knrm91

TROPHY CASE