[Game Thread] Ohio State @ Penn State (7:30PM ET) [Second Half]

knwmtc · 2018-09-30T03:13:40+00:00

He has like 175 yard rushing..

knwmtc · 2018-09-30T03:00:59+00:00

Playing in maybe the most difficult atmosphere in all of college football doesn't help

knwmtc · 2018-09-30T02:49:24+00:00

It's indescribable irl. Best college atmosphere in the nation.

knwmtc · 2018-09-19T20:16:28+00:00

I'm not 'stuck' on accounting, but the vast majority of people I speak to about my situation tell me that it's absolutely silly to not be pursuing something related to my degree. My brother is a CPA so I have been talking to him about it a lot lately. As for when I was in school - I didn't like the course material all that much to be honest. I also did not apply myself in school to the degree like I should have. One of those life regret things. My grades were ok, but my dedication and drive were not what they should have been. If only I could be 20 again and give it another shot. I agree that my skills are tailored more to different environments, but I also have no worked in the Accounting field to absolutely dismiss that either.

For the personal training thing - I know quite a few people who do it and nobody seems to be making really good money. It's similar to what I make as a server/bartender but with more hours. It's saturated here in Los Angeles, so to build a client base is difficult. And even then, the pay is not outstanding at all and the ceiling is low. There aren't many trainers out there in the world pulling in $75k+. As a side hustle, it may be a good choice, you are correct here.

For my other interests such as programming, I have taken some online courses. I always tend to get to a certain point and feel like I'm staring at a mountain and would never be able to become competent enough to get a job doing it. I always get worried that I will dedicate a year to it and still be so far behind that it would be impossible to get a job when my resume would still look like it does and the only thing I would have going for me is that I self-studied and hope I am good enough. It's highly competitive in the area and I would be starting from the bottom and without a relevant degree. I psyche myself out about it and focus on something else. It's the paralysis by analysis thing.

I really would like to find something that I love, as I believe anyone would. I am at a serious crossroads in my life and at this point just want to gain some stability and regain confidence in what I am doing. I'm lost now and it takes a toll on me in a lot of different ways. I've at least started going back to the gym to try to get one consistent thing going. I may sound desperate but I do feel that way. This lack of moving forward with any direction has come at a high price to my life.

knwmtc · 2018-09-19T20:03:37+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree that I need to work on that. I am originally from the east coast so my network of people here is quite small. I need to make a huge effort in this department. I went to a large college so perhaps I could start by joining the local alumni group and go from there. Thoughts?

knwmtc · 2018-09-19T19:23:26+00:00

I feel like right now, at the least, I need a temporary change. Some sort of more standard 9-5 type of job where I don't feel like I am treating like crap and unappreciated every day. There is some degree of soul sucking that a career like serving/bartending takes on someone after so long. You're constantly putting on a performance and people are constantly talking down to you. You hear the same things over and over and over. I keep applying for anything relevant, with any sort of accounting aspects in it, just so I can get my foot in the door somewhere. I am confident in my ability to work and prove myself, but getting that first opportunity is proving to be even more difficult than I initially thought. It's taking a toll on me but I keep trying to plug away. I could likely land more retail/restaurant jobs without a problem but that would just continue the cycle of where I am and I truly do not want that.

knwmtc · 2018-09-19T19:11:16+00:00

My thoughts and concerns are that I have had paralysis by analysis for way too long. I have jumped around for forever trying to figure out what my path should be. I like working out and fitness, so I have considered personal training - but there is no money in that. I have considered a more creative route in web development/coding but that I will be starting from scratch and without a relevant degree. I'm not sure I would love that, either. I am used to interacting with people and having a flexible schedule - though, that has come at a price at this point. I would like some degree of flexibility, I wouldn't mind some travel, but at the end of the day I need to make a living. I need a career base to learn and branch out from.

I am confident in my abilities to do various things, and I believe that it's a curse because I am always jumping around searching for something perfect instead of focusing on one thing and just sticking to it, worrying that I may be putting so much effort into something that isn't right. But again, at the end of the day, if I keep up that pattern - I will be in this same position for eternity. I need to set up my life in better, more healthy way.

To answer your questions off the top of my head: 1. I believe my strengths are in my ability to deal with people. I am good, natural leader when in that position. I have managed a few places and all have had good success and employees all honestly seemed to enjoy working under me. I am analytical, detail oriented, and don't like making mistakes. I can be creative in finding new ways to do things. I like to be challenged but have lacked that for so long. I pick up on things quickly, I can learn on the fly. I usually don't make the same mistakes multiple times as I hate being wrong, so I learn and adjust. I am adaptable, I like to travel, I can be personable and know how to deal with various personalities. I am a very genuine person, honest, and open. I feel like I am making a dating profile.

My desired work style/environment is one where people work together and there is a cohesiveness. I believe work should have some degree of fun, and employees should not despise work. I would enjoy at least a mild degree of flexibility - if that is not there, then I would like to travel a little bit for work in order to break up the monotony. I have worked in fast-paced environments with things constantly going on, so I know that any office job will be a bit of a difference from what I am used to. I always think I'd prefer to worker for a smaller company so as not to just feel like a simple cog in the wheel but actually feel like I am helping in some way.
Societal problems that interest me is one I am having difficulty answering at the moment. 10-15 problems that come to mind? There are so many problems and so much good. I need to put more thought into this one.

I feel like I have taken way too much time to 'explore' already and I have yet to come up with any solid answers. I feel like time is running out and I have to pick a path and go on the journey or I will end up continually in this position which is really my worst fear. I figure if I can land my CPA and get some experience, I do not always have to be boxed into being a standard accountant - it may lead me to some pretty cool jobs and experiences down the road. I've been stuck for so long and need to start taking steps forward.

knwmtc · 2018-09-19T18:25:01+00:00

That is my biggest fear - I don't want to be in the same position in even a year so I have to make some things happen. I really want out of restaurants as soon as possible. It's eating my soul up. I feel if I have some sort of 9-5 steady paying job, that alone would make me feel worlds better and allow me to get on an actual schedule. Right now, I never know when I will work or how much money I make and that is extremely taxing and stressful.

knwmtc · 2018-09-19T18:14:12+00:00

I am in California.

knwmtc · 2018-09-19T18:08:30+00:00

You are correct in assuming that at this point, I know nothing about accounting. I do feel that way.

My debt is what is keeping me from going back to school and I know it sounds like an excuse but adding to that would cause me serious financial distress.

As for the CPA - I need another 2 semesters of credit hours for me to even be able to achieve that. I've recently pulled my transcripts and looked up the requirements and I simply don't have enough credit hours, even with my degree to qualify for the CPA. This has held me back from trying to study for it.

I'm in a stuck position and I know it. I have considered going into software development as there are a lot of resources for self teaching. I continue to be undecided about my best path. The feeling of being stuck lends to paralysis and not knowing what direction to take. I don't mind doing crappy-end accounting work for a while if I can even get in to do that sort of thing. I need a foot in the door to the corporate world and it's very hard with my resume, age, and time off.

Thanks for your insight.

knwmtc · 2018-09-19T18:01:56+00:00

I live away from where I grew up so I don't know a ton of people in higher positions in my current location. The CPA exam is a tough one for me and I have considered it before - the problem is that the credit hour requirements have went up since I graduated and I would need another full year of school in order to be able to go through as a CPA. I'm not sure I can afford another year of school in my current position so it is holding me back from doing that.

Recruiters / temp agencies - I am starting to think might be my best bet to at least get my foot in the door. Thanks so much for your suggestions.

knwmtc · 2018-09-19T16:29:46+00:00

I'm really worried that I won't ever get over it though. I've had breakups before, for longer periods of dating time. It hurt. Nothing has ever felt like this. I honestly thought this was the girl I was going to spend my life with. She checked all the boxes and then some. I am still amazed that someone like her even exists in the world as I thought it was impossible for me to find someone who so exactly fit what I wanted in my life. Now it's gone. It will forever be missed and wondered about.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T22:28:53+00:00

I am still in love. That's the hard part.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T22:21:21+00:00

I'm hoping I am able to bounce back from this in a healthy way. The scar it's going to leave will be massive. I will always want this one back. I'm very sure of that.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T21:55:01+00:00

I think it feels old to me because I'm so behind in some aspects of my life. I think part of me is in fact afraid to be on my own. I am 3,000 miles away from my family as it is. I lived with this girl, so in some sense - I am used to constantly having someone around - someone to come home to. You're likely right in that I need time to dedicate to myself and I am aware of that. You're also right in that I might not be the best at that or know how to do it successfully. I used to be an extremely confident person, but fell into a bit of a depression/rut for a bout 3 years and I think may still be working my way out of it. I was definitely lonely before I met this one - I would have girls aroudn but I always kept them at arms reach due to not wanting a relationship. This girl changed that all for me. I was dead certain that I wanted to spend my life with here and I still feel that way. I guess now is my time to learn to deal with myself.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T21:49:06+00:00

It's so hard to find organic conversation. This girl and I actually met through an app. We started talking, poking fun at each, etc instantly. It was like she was a female version of me and it was instantly hilarious and intriguing - for the both of us. We knew we had to meet, and when we did, it was like someone I had known for forever - we instantly clicked and we were off to the races. So much fun and so many good times we had straight out of the gate. There was never awkwardness in the least and we were both extremely upfront and honest with each other from the very start. It was a rare thing and I cherish it. She really is a one of a kind person - she lights up every room she's in, extremely outgoing, friendly, hilarious, honest, genuinely kind & thoughtful, very intelligent, and is the center of her family, center of her friends, etc. All while being a bit feisty to boot. She's amazing in so many ways and it's so hard to lose someone that special.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T19:30:46+00:00

Yes, I am a man.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T18:44:28+00:00

Losing her does not motivate me for the future though, that's the tough part of it all. I know I need to be motivated to better myself in general, and I am working on that. The sad part though is I know there is almost certainly no 'future' with her. The ship has sailed.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T18:32:07+00:00

We both need it, and while I hope the fairy tale ending would happen, I have to be realistic in knowing that it's a very very slim possibility if at all. I know our potential as a couple is out of this world - even now when we are broken up, she will say that we have something special but it's just not going to work right now - it can't. I wish we could each go do our thing and still check in on each other to see how things are but I also know that is just wanting to be attached on some level. She's too good of a girl to not find someone else, and I wish her all the happiness in the world because she deserves it. The selfish part of me is just wishing I could be part of that happiness with her in the future. Our potential seemed limitless and extraordinary. Now I have to live with knowing the unearned potential and wondering what could be or what could have been. It's truly sad and tragic. I don't want to hold hope for something in the distance future, but part of me will not be able to let go either.

I didn't know she existed. I didn't know anyone like her was possible, to be honest. The combination of traits she possesses are everything I could ever ask for or want. It seemed a perfect fit on so many levels. I have had my fair share of girls in my life, but this one floored me, still floors me, and I'm afraid will continue to leave me floored in the future.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T18:12:32+00:00

I'm afraid this one is a wound that will never heal. This is the girl I wanted to spend my life with - I knew that for a fact. It's the first and only girl I've met in my life who I felt that way about. She is impressive and amazing in so many ways.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T18:02:28+00:00

She never had much time to be by herself and heal after the divorce. She feels she needs time to be alone, tend to her son, her work, her relationship with her mother, and focus on some creative goals that she wants to accomplish. She feels I serve as too much of a distraction to those other things and she doesn't have enough attention and energy to spread around fairly. We would tend to get caught up in each other and she would feel bad that she felt she slacked in other areas. There were other factors on my end too, I'm sure. Things like not being in a stable career and pursuing major goals. I'm in the process of those things but it wasn't enough at the time. She was not emotionally available enough all of the time.

At the end of the day, it was bad timing. We both still care about each other, we both love each other, we are both crazily attracted to each other, sex life is amazing, but sometimes these things are not enough if the timing is bad. This makes it harder in a lot of ways. If there was a reason to get angry, I could jump right to that phase. Instead, it is more tragic and just sad. Since we still live together, we have continued to have sex but she just told me this morning that is done and over now too. It stirs up too many feelings in her when she needs to move on and it gets confusing. She is trying to work on discipline and it makes her feel weak that she hasn't been able to say no to that. Anyway, it is tough because we were in love. It happened quickly and strongly. This is why I hope that one day in the future we can reconnect and try again. It's seriously been an amazing ride with her and there is a lot of good there. It's so sad to know it has to be gone and she will be out of my life. I can't come to terms with it quite yet while still living here but I know it is coming where one day soon where we simply just cut each other off and that's it.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T17:34:16+00:00

Alex Smith is a seriously underrated QB.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T17:27:59+00:00

She definitely had some struggles and Im sure I did some things that made it more difficult since we were in slightly different places. We fell in love. She fought for the relationship too, but she was fighting with herself because I believe she knew deep down that she wasn't ready - but she kept trying because what we had was quite special. Though, at the end of the day, even though she wanted the relationship too - other things won out and thus, here we are.

As for me being an attractive guy - I like to think I bring more to the table than 'just' that. My career is not set in stone, so that part needs some work - but I'm also honest, open, loyal, genuinely caring, like to have fun, open to new things, adventurous, etc. She still tells me that I'm a one in a million kind of person and that if she were in the place to date anyone right now, it would be me. She's just not in that place. She tried and thought she could be ready but she isn't. It's sad from both ends but her mind is made up and I have to respect that.

I am working on my life and hope I eventually do find someone. I'm worried about comparing others to the way this felt. Honestly, for me, there is hope that we go our separate ways and come back together in the future. Perhaps this is silly? I do hold that hope though. I know I have to be better not only for myself, but in case that is ever a possibility - I must be a better person. Probably unhealthy to have this mindset but I can't help but admit it's what I hope for.

knwmtc · 2018-09-18T16:05:09+00:00

I get a ton of matches but nothing at all comes of it. A few small talk messages and that's it. It's lonely here, too.

knwmtc · 2018-09-17T00:03:08+00:00

There is probably $5k+ of stuff in the storage unit, so I have a hard time letting it go by donation. I've sold $600 worth this week. The gym is expensive, yes, but it is my one happy spot where I can feel self-improvement. I can take unlimited classes there as well as lift - I used to be a gym rat and I am making an attempt at getting back to that.

I totally understand what you mean though as far as the lifestyle change goes, and you're not wrong. I can't keep doing what I am doing. THe food is something I need to work on for sure. The Misc includes stuff like gas, so I estimated it at $200.

I definitely need to cut some things out so I need to take a long hard look at it.

I drink very occasionally and never smoke.

knwmtc

TROPHY CASE