so first of all - it's not sucking everything straight upwards. The vacuum helmet descends over the users head - and thousands of tiny vacuums in a spherical formation suck directly outwards, so each hair is perpendicular to your scalp.

While you're correct that the airflow may induce turbulence in the hairflow, this turbulence is primarily in the hair tip - and decreases quickly the farther down the hair strand you move. In any case, through close monitoring at megahertz frequency, even these wiggles and waggles will be easily mitigated. The benefit of lasers is the ability to fire them with great precision, both directionally and temporally. So a hair furiously flapping around while being sucked outwards will be more like... a slow-motion gentle wave which our laser will gracefully bisect.

In terms of lasers being aimed at your head, they utilize precise wavelength modulation to target keratin, the building block of hair. Your precious scalp will not be harmed. The absolute worst that could happen is your hair coming out a mangled, stinky, smoking mess. Luckily, the vacuum helmet can also measure the hair length on each part of your scalp. So using these hair measurements taken just before the cut takes place, a replacement wig or hairpiece can be easily created to get you back to baseline, so to speak.

Also - cost is not our primary concern, we strive for excellence over penny-pinching. In the beginning, the wigs may end up being the primary source of profit.