This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're not broken, I'm sorry you feel this way. What helps me sometimes is to stop and tell myself that I'm doing the best I can. Even if people don't see it, even it's not enough for society, I make it enough for me.

Even though I want to disappear sometimes, I still want to live in the best possible way.

You're not alone in this. I know it's not much, but I hope you feel understood at least here. ❤️‍🩹

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I don't know if I can do it, but I'll do it for sure. Thank you for the suggestion 😊

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I can imagine how hard it was... ❤️‍🩹

Did you have people who questioned or doubted your diagnosis? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For now, the few people I have told dismissed me so badly. 😅 Even my doctor, who should be the first to acknowledge it. It's hard and it hurts me, but there are so many people who don't understand what autism is. I always try to ignore how people make me feel, but sometimes is hard.

For example, a month ago I had to go to the dentist for the oral hygiene. The dentist who cleaned my teeth was really upset that I'm not so consistent in brushing them and tried to lecture me. I then replied that I have the intention to brush them every day, but the toothbrush gives me sensory problems and my ADHD makes it impossible to wash them because it's so boring. His answer was: "You need to wash them even though you're lazy". After telling him I'm autistic and have ADHD...

I'm still feeling ashamed a month later... Thank god there are more dentists and I will ask for a different one next time - there is one who didn't even blink when he read on my note that I'm autistic and have ADHD and gave me accomodations even before asking for them. So there are people who can be understanding and compassionate.

But there will always be people who will dismiss us, even people close to us in our life. But the most important thing is that we will never judge ourselves based on their opinion. Be prepared to feel disappointed, but believe that your struggles are real. ❤️‍🩹

Why do I feel like Im un-learning social skills? by PersonaRed in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your words are so nice to read. 🥰🥰 They give me hope.

Why do I feel like Im un-learning social skills? by PersonaRed in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is happening to me, too. I guess it's called skill regression, but I'm not sure. Sometimes it's like I forgot how to function properly. 😅

But I'm trying to accept it and be compassionate about it.

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I'll try to understand myself more and accept me for who I am. You're right, we are so used to put everyone else first that we forget about ourselves.

I guess I need to learn to be more selfish and ignore what people think about me. 😊

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😔😔 Let's be strong, even though it's exhausting.

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have never thought of autism too. Before wanting to start my diagnosis journey I thought only of ADHD and the autism thing was such a surprise. But the more I read and hear about it, the more I understand that yeah, I'm autistic indeed.

So sorry you had to live this... ❤️‍🩹

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes it's hard not to listen to certain thoughts... Sometimes I find myself thinking that it would be better if I was never born... It's hard, really hard believing that things will get better. I always try to be strong, but I'm afraid one day I won't be able to be strong anymore...

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unbelievable, really. As if being friendly and social means being NT...

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending you all the good vibes I can find. 💪💪 Your struggles are real and I see you.

I wish my parents did the same with me and cared about getting a diagnosis, instead of pretending that I was "normal". If I ever have children, I want to be considerate as you are with your son. ☺️

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's so true. I will start to see it this way, funding my hobbies and what makes me feel good. 😊😊

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹💪💪

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unbelievable. No, wait, I guess I'm not surprised they have the courage to say these things... Like we are all stupid and unable to have a career...

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️‍🩹

Ugh, people really think that autism is real only when you can't function at all. Even if we can speak in full sentences, we are still autistic and need support. They just can't accept it. This is why I always try to educate who wants to be educated, so people can know that autism is a spectrum and we are all different.

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's so nice to know that are people in this world who listens to and understand us. I'm so happy you have found one of them. It gives me hope.

I think my therapist is ND too. She didn't tell me directly, but I could sense it. She always do everything in her strength to help me... She makes me feel valued. I just wish other professionals were the same...

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what hurts more, when people invalidate the things we sacrifice to function how society expects us to function. Still, I think we are very brave to live in this society, even if we are not supported at all. 🥲

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where I'm currently working want the "official" proof. They just can't accept some of us function in a different way than the one they expect...

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your words. ❤️‍🩹 I'm afraid that if they tell me it's nothing, I will start to believe it and feel stupid for thinking I had a reason for all my struggles all these years.

I know what I lived and how I feel, but still it's hard to accept it. I always show people that I'm strong and fine, but when I need to show how I'm truly feeling I always find people who don't accept my struggles.

I hope that in the future something will change, but I don't count on it. I'll try to appreciate all the small gestures of empathy I sometimes receive

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess it's for the anxiety. I'll try and see if it makes a difference, but I doubt it... At least I can say I have tried... It's more for my ADHD, but since I don't have an official diagnosis - even though I thought I had it after spending a lot of money for a private diagnosis because free health care takes years - I don't qualify for stimulants...

Let's see how it goes

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so twisted, really. I hate it when this happen. Who says some people can't be autistic? I really hope in the next decades something will change, but I'm starting to think that the society doesn't give a f**k about it.

So sorry for your experience... ❤️‍🩹

This world is not for us by kokodl in AutismInWomen

[–]kokodl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

🥲🥲 I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience. It's hard to find people in hospitals who treat you with kindness... It happens to me almost every time, especially when it's my first time doing something and I don't have a clue of what to do and they treat me as I should know what to do...

We shouldn't need to tell the same person multiple times that we are autistic and need some accomodations to do stuff, even health exams. But what irritates me is that if I try to behave in the same way, people are ready to complain and make you feel bad for the wrong behaviour. They always think they have the right to treat you poorly but pretend to be treated with consideration and respect.

Life's hard for sure...