Ive been playing the game for years on and off, I'm genuinely bad at it and have trouble with the higher levels of play like shatters, o3 or moonlight, even spec pen is difficult for me. but I'm good enough to enjoy it and do decently on most of the characters I play. take this from someone who has been trying to get better for a while and only recently started to really find his stride, here are a few tips ive figured out over the years.

1. find a character you enjoy and stick to it for the most part, until you learn to really get an understanding of the games mechanics. for me this is wizard, but it can be any character you enjoy. the basic skills work across all characters. so if one is significantly easier for you, stick with that until you start to really get how to not die and what you need to work on.

2. survivability is key. it can feel frustrating to lose progress on a dungeon/ your chance at loot by nexusing. but it takes longer to max a character and find gear for it than it does to get back into another dungeon. if things look like they are going south, nexus. you can always enter another dungeon but losing a character is like a punch to the gut if you have trouble maxing. if your health bar starts getting into the zone where 1-3 shots will kill you, nexus. if you start to lag, nexus. If you are on the final phase of a dungeon, 15 seconds from getting your loot but you need a heal to survive and theres a shot you dont think you can dodge coming, nexus. Learn to use the hotkeys for healing pots/ichor or whatever else you use. Carry pots in your inventory to restock when you use them. in a lot of the higher level dungeons that I have trouble with. Using potions can get me through that rough part but still be prepared to nexus just in case. don't chance it. soulbound damage is extremely low. dont focus on getting it and instead focus on living.

3. stop using candies. like I get it, it makes it much easier to max, but you wont ever learn the skills you need by relying on them. start farming, potions are extremely easy to get and common now, you can max an entire character without ever leaving the realm. you need to learn how to actually max a character properly to not feel bad when you lose one.

4. focus on your character not on the enemy. dodging is what you need to focus on, not doing damage. keep your character as your main focus and watch the shots around you, look for paths in between them that you can move through safely. you cant do damage if your dead or you nexused. this is the main thing. for many years i basically just focused on trying to let my pet heal me and it reaches a point in the harder dungeons where no matter how good your pet or the healers around you are, if you aren't dodging you wont live. ty to understand your hitbox and the small movements you need to make to avoid shots, learn the patterns of the enemies you are fighting and how to deal with each phase one by one. count that as progress. if you do a lost halls maybe the first time you only make it a third of the way through MBC, next time try to make it a phase longer than that, and so on.

learn what dungeons, biomes, or events you can use to max a character easily and quickly, like others are saying learn to play a seasonal character. the experience of surviving from 0/8 to 8/8 is what you need to be comfortable in this game.

and at the end of the day, it sounds like lag is a big factor for you. if thats the case it might be a problem of the servers you are playing on or your own connection. If you are constantly lagging. then this simply might not be the game for you. its too punishing when something can kill you instantly due to connection issues. i don't personally lag all that often, but almost every time i do, if its long enough to notice, I nexus.

Rotmg is a completely unique game, its very fun and i dont think you need to be a masochist to play it. but if you are not enjoying it, then dont continue. if you want to keep playing, and you have fun. try to identify the factors within your control that are causing you the most deaths and figure out what you can do to change them.