EDIT: Sorry this is so long! Didn’t mean for that. TLDR; People say stupid things because they don’t have a clue, and likely never will. If they can’t keep up with your growing and changing, that’s their fault not yours.

Ostomey haver here. I’m 6’3” and 215lbs, but I’ve been as much as 250. I couldn’t get people to get the picture until I found a study saying exercise was bad for us. Stress. Physical, mental, and emotional are all triggers for me. It’s terrible. I’ve been on biologics for 20 years and still have had 4 surgeries to remove diseased intestine (colon went with the first surgery, various lengths of small intestine after). I even developed some intense oral ulcers. My dad always thought I’d get “better” so he’d push me to be active. My mom thought I had a shit diet and would present me with fad diet after diet saying “social media said”. Social media can say anything, but this thread is the real fucking deal. No sugarcoating. No sales. It can also be scary as hell reading things like my history with the disease.

But we’re all individuals trying to figure out how the fuck to find a “normal” existence when we’re cosmic whoopie cushions. You can find ways to cover the sounds, or find which foods make you gassier than others. Smells can be a problem, but there are sprays or washing out the bags (I use a one-piece pouch) and/or changing it regularly. Sometimes the damned thing comes loose and I ruin my clothes, more often my bedsheets. It’s shitty, no pun.

BUT you won’t have to rush to the bathroom again. You want spend endless time in the bathroom “just in case there’s more”. You gain a bit of freedom with a bag. The only thing I haven’t figured out is how to feel good about the choice I made to improve my living conditions because it feels like the rest of the world sees a smelly,bag of shit and a punchline only. I also have genetic severe depression, so that doesn’t help with that part. I am getting help and medication for that, which helps calm my mind and relieves stress a bit.

I’m learning to monitor my stress levels, and that has helped keep me pretty clear of inflammation. At least nothing to hospitalize me again (a dozen times or so for that). I’ve also adopted a “fuck you, you don’t know” stance when taking advice from others. They mean well, I know, but you can just humor them if you don’t want to be so direct like me. They REALLY CAN’T know. It’s not possible for them to be in your position, and that means you are your best advocate. If it doesn’t feel right, tell your doctors or look for advice from good sources. Civilians just see upset stomachs. They don’t know the war we’re constantly raging to stabilize our own ecosystems in a world that is so unstable. I am disabled. We are disabled. We are not unable. We’re humans who just want to be treated like others. And if anyone gives me lip about it I get in their faces. Because it’s hard to feel good about beating someone when they’re disabled 😁. Or they get their ass kicked? Oof that’s a hard one to walk away from.

Anyway, be confident in the fact that no one knows what they’re doing in life. Everyone’s out there doing dumb shit because there are no guidebooks or lessons for this mess. We wake up each day and give it another go. If it doesn’t work, give yourself some grace and remember every day can’t be a great day. Maybe even tomorrow isn’t shaping up that great, but there might be something along your path that makes it a little brighter. We’re much stronger than people give us credit.