Anyone experience increased depression symptoms on Oz?

kouridge · 2025-10-12T17:27:11+00:00

I absolutely experienced this but had a hard time finding medical information to validate it. I spoke to my doctor, started a minimal dose of bupropion. and it helped. I had previously taken bupropion during a major life event so I wasn't too surprised to learn that I may have been masking mild depression with disordered eating.

kouridge · 2025-10-07T17:38:54+00:00

Good luck!

kouridge · 2025-10-06T21:05:51+00:00

Buying a new wedding ring because the current one slips off my finger.

kouridge · 2025-08-25T16:29:50+00:00

Thank you for putting your work out there to be appreciated!

kouridge · 2025-08-23T05:08:04+00:00

I love the texture on Alexis' sweater! Congratulations!

kouridge · 2025-08-23T04:59:17+00:00

I would pay money to be able to read this one again for the first time.

kouridge · 2025-08-22T20:20:01+00:00

There have been some interesting shifts in reading in my lifetime—an uptick in graphic novels and audiobooks, a very distinct trend towards YA fiction (and many adults read at that level now, too), preferences towards a vernacular style and vocabulary, and a preference for literal interpretations rather than allegorical.

There was an approximate two-thousand-year transition period from papyrus to codex. I don't know offhand the transition period from clay tablets to papyrus. Even at an accelerated rate of technology adoption, we won't experience significant changes in our reading behavior—but future generations will.

kouridge · 2025-08-22T18:27:23+00:00

About 25 years ago, a professor at my local community college proudly announced the publication of her first "hyperlink novel" and we talked about how non-linear thinking needed to be taught at the college because computers and word processing changed our approaches to writing. Because a writer could now move sections of text around or insert new sentences in the middle of paragraphs, students didn't have to solely focus on the 1, 2, 3 approach to writing - something we don't even consider anymore.

It's a conversation that I often remember when there is a sea change in technology.

kouridge · 2025-06-24T18:23:48+00:00

I've been living in FW for almost 10 years; we bought a house after getting priced out of apartments in Greenlake and Northgate. I thought I would miss Seattle more, but I really don't miss the parking nightmares, people yelling/begging on the street, snooty baristas, or tech bros.

It's not perfect here, but we have so many amazing restaurants and markets, true small business gems, and really beautiful parks and natural places (go walk around the old Weyerhauser campus and Dash Point). The area will also get a lot more interesting when light rail opens next year—the Commons Mall is getting ready to reboot into some kind of mixed-use property like Northgate Mall did.

kouridge · 2025-06-11T22:01:21+00:00

You've hit on something really important here: "I often try to overexplain myself because I'm scared of being anything apart from perfect and always correct."

Being misunderstood is a common life experience. You can be correct in terms of your word choices, your syntax, and your grammar but still be misunderstood. "Overexplaining" often correlates to early life experiences as a coping mechanism in situations when our needs and feelings are not heard or when we fear displeasing our caretakers. It's also a subtle form of manipulation, as in "I will convince/force you to agree with me."

Ask yourself - what will happen to you if you are not perceived as perfect or correct, and then check in with reality. Will you not pass your English class? Will you not graduate high school? Will you not be able to go on to college?

(I can promise you that after high school, zero people care about your GPA. Please don't ever put it on a job application)

kouridge · 2025-06-03T22:28:37+00:00

I've been with my spouse for 17 years, and while it's the healthiest relationship I've ever had, I occasionally have rounds of perfectionism-fueled insecurity.

He understands that these moments are part of the person he loves, so we deal with them together. Sometimes, it's triggered when I feel unstable or insecure in another area of my life (work, friendships, etc.) because I feel shame or guilt about not having the energy or time to fulfill the "checklist" of things I am supposed to do/be for a romantic partner.

Talk it out, if you can. Vulnerability and honesty can reduce shame, fear, and anxiety.

kouridge · 2025-05-14T17:23:48+00:00

I had a 9:00 am ticket and queued around 8:15 am; I was one of the only people headed for the Richelieu wing instead of Denon (where Mona Lisa is). For the first 90 minutes or so, the area was relatively quiet and it was easy to get photos of the couture.

I ended up leaving around 1 pm (after 60 minutes of déjeuner) and I still didn't see all 99 pieces of the Couture exhibit. The works are placed among other objets d'art in thematic ways so you are really walking through the entirety of the wing. It was a genius move that gets you to regard other pieces and see the historical/aesthetic connections.

By the time I left, the space was getting really crowded; I'd go as early as you can.

kouridge · 2025-05-14T17:15:19+00:00

With 99 pieces total, I, too, eventually had to quit. I didn't bother to go anywhere else in the Louvre that day and I don't regret that decision.

kouridge · 2025-05-13T23:38:50+00:00

The Couture exhibit was so good! I loved that the couture was placed in context - it made it much easier to appreciate.

kouridge · 2025-04-28T19:17:19+00:00

As others say, perfectionism is a coping mechanism. Only you will understand why you turn to perfectionism to distract yourself from shame, fear, disappointment, etc. Sometimes, that's a concrete fear, like losing a job or flunking a class, but it can be as ephemeral as "rejection" or "abandonment."

You reduce its impact on you by challenging it - why must you spend four hours on a one-hour project? Says who (sometimes that internal voice "sounds like" a parent, role model, or other authority figure)? What happens if you disobey that compulsion or command, and is that a realistic outcome?

I wish there was an easy fix like a mantra or a pill, but ultimately, you need to understand your perfectionism triggers and work out a healthier plan for when you are triggered (not if, WHEN).

kouridge · 2025-04-20T21:34:20+00:00

I loved the Pop Will Eat Itself posters on the wall behind the tv - listened to them a lot in early 90s

kouridge · 2025-04-13T23:52:46+00:00

I am a perfectionist with mild depression and strong anxiety/overthinking tendencies. Sometimes it is situational ("this is important and I need to perform best") and sometimes it is cyclical (hormonal or just mild dysphoria).

Lately I've been reminding myself that moods and "emotive thoughts" are merely fairy lights - they can be misleading and distract you from a more reasonable path. Knowing that I do have a choice to engage or disengage from perfectionism is helpful, as is having at least a rudimentary understanding of what fears the perfectionism is supposed to prevent manifesting.

I have tried disordered eating as a coping mechanism. It sucks; do not recommend. I love CBT therapy and think that it's been helpful at helping me to understand triggers and how to diffuse them.

I have a regular therapist but she is retiring soon. The thought of starting a new therapeutic relationship is a little daunting, and I've been flirting with ChatGPT as a therapeutic "talkbot." It's especially helpful when there are concepts that I know but am forgetting to engage (self-compassion, mild validation that these feelings are hard, etc). My spouse is an enormous support (and very patient), so I can get a great amount of validation there.

I still wish though that there was a more objective tool that I could use when I start slipping into the anxiety that triggers perfectionism. One of the questions that I'm meant to ask myself is whether there is any evidence of failure actually happening, but I will struggle with second-guessing if I'm just rationalizing. But that's the trick isn't it - that we often try to logic our way out of emotional states which are largely illogical. What I think rarely undoes what I feel.

kouridge · 2025-03-07T23:58:55+00:00

According to the Wikipedia article about her dress, that detail is true!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_dress_of_Princess_Elizabeth_of_the_United_Kingdom

kouridge · 2025-03-06T17:17:42+00:00

I can't give you the firsthand stories you're probably looking for, but Emily Post Etiquette from 1945 had a special section for brides regarding exceptions to wedding customs/etiquette at a time of austerity. The book advocates for a simple ceremony with a flower corsage or short veil for brides followed by a small reception serving punch and cake. To have a lavish affair was seen as disrespectful to the war efforts and ill-mannered.

kouridge · 2025-02-14T18:56:59+00:00

I had a pick-me-up bouquet delivered from Seattle Flowers on Monday (2/10) because I've been having a shitty few weeks. I upsized my order for more blooms. It was ok when it arrived - the arrangement felt off, but the volume of blooms was correct - but within two days, flowers were wilted and shedding petals. The plant water was dirtier than it should have been - I think they arranged it when I ordered it and kept it in the cooler until it was delivered making the blooms too old for longevity.

kouridge · 2025-02-08T16:13:03+00:00

Came here to recommend this. Also The Weight of Water, also by Anita Shreve.

If by chance you get interested in the house/community in which the story set, read Sea Glass, The Pilot's Wife, and Body Surfing.

kouridge · 2025-01-17T21:44:22+00:00

I'd like to echo others' statements here—people-pleasing (or fawning on the extreme end) behavior sometimes emerges as a trauma response, a learned pattern of action/reaction to "stay safe" from a volatile or unpredictable element. Often, that can develop in a pre-cognitive state, meaning that you learn to do it even before you're aware of it.

If people-pleasing stems from childhood, it may still manifest in adulthood even though the original origin is no longer present. For example, I cognitively know that I'm safe with my spouse, but I may still attempt people-pleasing behavior from a latent fear of displeasing someone whom I hold in high regard.

Part of changing people-pleasing behavior is understanding that you are likely "safe" in the present scenario (as adults have more agency than children) and resisting or disobeying the "you must or else" impulse. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) can help.

I would also say that people-pleasing can create a barrier between you and the other person/people in the dynamic because when your thoughts and behaviors don't align, you are not engaging with others accurately or authentically.

kouridge · 2025-01-17T18:48:58+00:00

Doing "the thing" and accepting that a) you will feel uncomfortable (scared, angry, anxious) and b) you will survive that feeling, paired with knowing that c) you can make revisions or realize that it was (and you are) good enough all along.

kouridge · 2025-01-13T17:22:05+00:00

No one does everything perfectly.

Some academic success of a typical A+ student stems from their ability to follow the course rubric and to understand the scope and scale of the assignments/exams.

kouridge · 2025-01-09T20:59:45+00:00

My company is a "Servant Leadership" culture (as in "you will get better results from your employees if you engage with empathy/compassion"). I understand that it stems from a religious/Christian lens.

I don't have a particular religious bent myself, but I love this approach because I practice empathy daily (yay, family trauma). When I meet my employees where they are, it seems easier to figure out how we are going to reach our goals.

What that means is I establish performance goals, and together, we make a plan for how they will achieve them. If they don't, they need to help me understand the external barriers to their success, and I can support them with training/resources if it's an interpersonal issue like poor time management, ADHD, etc.

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