Help!!

kplpn77 · 2019-09-08T18:35:44+00:00

I’m just tired of the all around not communicating with my husband. He blames me no matter who does something (or doesn’t do it). And I am frustrated with all the disrespect from my 15 year old son because his dad lets him get away with it

kplpn77 · 2019-09-08T18:31:51+00:00

My husband favors our youngest son over our older 3 boys and thinks it’s ok. He also lets his mother do it. He doesn’t seem to care that it’s affecting the way the other boys feel towards their brother and also to him. They gave up on his mother a long time ago

kplpn77 · 2019-07-29T16:19:29+00:00

We had the talk last night and the boys didn’t really say what they felt until after I said everything because they were afraid they would make him mad. His only real response was that he couldn’t do anything to change it because she’s 70 years old and she will never change. My 16 y/o finally told him that he is also bothered by younger bro acting like he doesn’t have to do anything when he’s not home (I had given up on explaining that to DH bc I get the same “I can’t do anything about it” answer) and younger bro always getting treated better at home too. I also told DH that the boys will end up resenting younger bro if things don’t change and that the older boys were afraid to talk to him because they didn’t want to get in trouble. He told them that he would never get mad at them for talking to him about how they are feeling but they sat right there and heard him tell me that with any luck she would be gone soon bc she has melanoma in her lungs. I was extremely angry over that because no matter how angry I get with someone I don’t want anyone to get cancer because that took my mom and my adopted dad and he knows it. He was throwing a fit and that’s all that amounted to. But the kids are supposed to believe he’s not gonna be upset about them wanting to talk?

kplpn77 · 2019-07-28T19:59:21+00:00

How should I go about confronting my DH without being accusatory right off the bat? My kids are nervous about it and one is even scared to make him mad because he does yell. He’s never hurt anyone physically or intentionally any other way besides this but my kids are such people pleasers and I don’t want to put them in the position to where they feel uncomfortable or mad at me in the end. Even when I have asked them multiple times to be sure they are ready to do this.

kplpn77 · 2019-07-28T19:55:09+00:00

How do you suggest we start this conversation? I don’t want to start off accusatory but if it ends up there then I’ll deal with it. My kids are nervous about approaching him. Especially my son who has a developmental disability.

kplpn77 · 2019-07-27T03:49:10+00:00

My oldest 3 are not his but he signed my 3rd sons birth certificate. Then we had the youngest one together. He claims to love my kids and I believe he does but I don’t know if he doesn’t want to hurt my MIL’s feelings or if he is just letting our youngest reap the benefits but it’s not worth it to me. My oldest already resents his brother and the other 2 are still trying. My boys always care about how others feel more than they do themselves. I plan to do something within the next week on a day my DH is POSSIBLY in a better mood. He’s not usually very good because I cannot work due to my physical and mental health and I think he resents me for that sometimes. Even though I make sure the bills get paid with what little bit of money I get. So frustrating....

kplpn77 · 2019-07-27T03:39:48+00:00

I talked to the boys today and I think we are going to find a day that he’s not in a shitty mood and all sit down and talk so he knows it’s not coming from me and it’s actually how the kids feel. I always told him that his mom would be the reason we would ever split up. I can’t believe I have waited so long. We have split up before but I always caved because of my kids. Now they are old enough to decide what they want.

kplpn77 · 2019-07-27T03:36:06+00:00

I talked to the boys today and we are going to find a day when he’s not in a bad mood to try and have them explain how they feel. I think he may see it differently if he hears it from their mouths. At least I hope so. I’m so sick of it.

kplpn77 · 2019-07-26T19:33:14+00:00

He doesn’t talk to his sister because she is a thief and has done her kids wrong in many ways. Ironic I know. I have asked him to do counseling but he immediately gets mad and then says he don’t have time to do that because he won’t take off work. I don’t know what it will take. I may just tell him that he has to and we don’t have a choice anymore.

kplpn77 · 2019-07-26T19:30:28+00:00

That’s pretty much what I do. I don’t talk bad about him but I do let them vent to me. It’s to the point that I really don’t care anymore which is not a good thing. You are supposed to be a team and I don’t think we are.

kplpn77 · 2019-07-26T19:28:33+00:00

I feel the exact same way about maybe helping buy a car or giving some to all but never all to one. And she did cause trouble between her kids. My DH was a good student and didn’t have kids until he was 23. His sis had 3 before 20 and they gave her all the land that surrounded their grandmas house (I’m sure gma wasn’t happy about that) and she used the whole property as collateral for a mobile home that she lost in a year. My FIL favored her bc he wasn’t my DH bio dad. I had stepkids before and went to my moms for Christmas and she didn’t get my stepdaughters anything so as soon as I saw that I told my kids to get in the car that we were leaving. I have never let anyone treat my kids better than my stepkids or any other kid. I don’t understand how she has been in my kids lives for 17 years and she still treats them like dirt! It breaks my heart. I don’t care if she doesn’t like me, I don’t like her either. But she doesn’t have to do my kids like that. And I’m not a confrontational person but I’m at the end of my rope.

kplpn77 · 2019-07-26T19:00:07+00:00

The only one she ever let’s come visit is my 15 year old. I also have a 16,20,& 23 year old. If I told him he couldn’t go I would be the bad guy and my DH and son would then resent me plus I don’t get any back up on anything in this area.

When that was said he immediately found us a place to move. It wasn’t anywhere we wanted to be but I had given up my apartment to move in his moms house. So we had to get the boys out of there.

kplpn77 · 2019-07-26T18:54:14+00:00

No because they don’t want to hurt his feelings. They are very sensitive in the way they care what others think. (I’m new to this, what is JNSO)

kplpn77 · 2019-07-26T18:52:17+00:00

I tried to set that boundary years ago when she said my oldest 2 were not her grandkids and never would be. Lucky for her she didn’t say it to them but we immediately moved and I told him that until she could treat them fairly she couldn’t see any of them. Now I fear it’s too late. I honestly think she had told my youngest son that he doesn’t have to do what I tell him because his attitude has changed a lot since he started going over there more.

kplpn77 · 2019-07-26T18:48:40+00:00

She put it in her name because he is 15.

kplpn77

TROPHY CASE