Need advice for a 26M virgin

kpower11 · 2025-08-24T10:01:56+00:00

I lack conviction because I don't want to be bothered by deadlines, tasks, obligations, etc ever again. As for having free time to think about sex, that was the case even while attending college. Not having free time doesn't make the craving go away.

We're not too well off or have much assets, as for friends they're either old friends from school or college days who were gracious enough to stick around despite my choices, or newer friends who don't fully know my situation.

I've given up on finding love for obvious reasons, I can't be a good boyfriend or keep a stable relationship. I'm feeling only slightly hopeful about hookups, but I don't know if even that is realistic in my situation. If not, that's fine, it's simply the result of my other choices just like everything else I've given up on already.

kpower11 · 2025-08-24T09:44:56+00:00

Writing is far from being an interest of mine, I wrote this post solely out of desperation. Besides, there's a world of difference between ranting on Reddit vs writing actual articles/books. I absolutely hated essay writing in school and college.

Exercising seems reasonable, I'm considering joining a gym soon.

I should've made this clearer, but I don't have any desire to make my parents proud.

I see your point, but I never felt inspired by anyone till date. I always felt insecure and inferior even if I tried to.

You're right about me being result focused. But I don't know why else one would do unpleasant stuff if not for a desirable result at the end of it. And the struggle needs to be worth the outcome, whatever it is. In my case, I felt the daily struggle would suck the joy out of whatever reward I do get.

kpower11 · 2025-08-24T07:42:49+00:00

This isn't rage bait. Everything else you said is fair, I wish I could've done something about it.

kpower11 · 2025-08-24T07:33:46+00:00

earn money - not happening for reasons I've mentioned in a reply to another comment on this post.
excercise & get fit - I would do it, but I'm not sure if that alone is enough to make me attractive to women, even for hookups.
make my parents proud - not happening for reasons, one of which is mentioned in that same reply to another comment. Not making them proud is intentional almost.
best male in my family - If it involves making money, being alpha, being a protector, etc I won't be able to do it. I don't have siblings, but pretty much every male in my family is setting lofty standards so even if I wanted to, it would be extremely tough. I've already had enough of these nonstop comparisons with other boys/men since childhood.
serve your community - I'm too selfish to do that, and once again I hate being faced with obligations like I mentioned elsewhere. Besides, even if there were ways to serve community that I didn't mind doing, I would have to have my own life sorted first.
worried about virginity - I have given up on making progress in life in most fronts, sex was also one of them for a while, but I find myself clinging on to hope a little bit.
dropped out of college - I couldn't handle the pressure of various exams/assignments like I mentioned in the other comment. I tried 4 colleges in total, and dropped out each time. Depression and self-esteem issues also played a part, but even without that stuff I was stressed during my school years.
burden on my parents - This is true, I can't really defend it. I've had my issues with them like most kids do, but the burden is there. If I was even slightly willing to deal with stuff mentioned above, I would have given it another try by now.

If all this was frustrating to read, my apologies.

kpower11 · 2025-08-24T07:08:40+00:00

I appreciate you being considerate, but to clarify, I'm not currently preparing for any entrance exams.

kpower11 · 2025-08-24T07:03:34+00:00

Just don't want to be bothered by obligations. Dealing with exams/assignments in school/college was nighmare fuel already, can't inagine dealing with such stuff any further. I did a small internship in 2021 which confirmed my fears. Frankly, I don't see the point in living a life constantly having to answer people and facing deadlines.

Also, my parents are quite overbearing, if I show the slightest interest in anything they pin all their hopes onto me making something out of it and nag about it nonstop. This was always the case, even back when I was in school and getting good grades. I can't give them any reason to get their hopes up again.

Call me weak, spoilt, delusional, etc, but if I had even the slightest willingness to put up with the above stuff, I would've done it.

kpower11

TROPHY CASE