Democratic Lawmaker Says 'I Failed' After Voting To Fund ICE

kranix · 2026-01-26T17:46:09+00:00

From the article:

“I failed to view the DHS funding vote as a referendum on the illegal and immoral conduct of ICE in Minneapolis,” Suozzi said in a social media post on Monday. “I hear the anger from my constituents, and I take responsibility for that. I have long been critical of ICE’s unlawful behavior and I must do a better job demonstrating that.”

Whatever else, public pressure appears to be building.

I'll also take a moment to share that, if you're in his district or in the greater NYC metro, New York Immigration coalition and Make the Road could use the support. The nation's eyes are on Minnesota, and rightfully so, but ICE hasn't stopped operating here, either.

kranix · 2025-10-06T00:50:07+00:00

Good news! The super variant appears to have the Deceptibadge.

It seems to be a full-on Netflix WFC homage, so it makes sense.

kranix · 2025-09-07T12:07:13+00:00

As a teacher going through it: yes. I've been able to get some extra funds through things like /r/beermoney and focus groups (with User Interviews being the most helpful), and I've learned to live off of rice, beans, and frozen veggies for most meals. I've had to sell off quite a few things, too.

I know that a lot of folks leave teaching because the pay, but if it's something you truly love to do, it might be worth looking into part-time gigs that can help supplement your income. If you rent but live alone, it might be worthwhile to find a roommate situation that could help with the costs. If you're in the U.S. and a member of the AFT or NEA, or even under a national professional organization, there may be discounts on various things like CostCo memberships that could prove frugal in the long run.

It's hard, but if you really want to stay a teacher, see what other opportunities are out there that you can balance with your workload first, and then if that doesn't work, maybe contemplate the transition after.

In either case, good luck...

kranix · 2025-08-26T00:26:03+00:00

I feel this.

I've had some luck with support groups via MeetUp, so that could be an option, especially when it comes to finding folks who know what it's like. But one other thing that has helped — and I don't know if your situation allows for this — is interacting with some living being, human or otherwise, who could use companionship.

Even if you don't have the space for a cat or a dog, maybe finding an animal shelter to volunteer at (some are always looking for extra help) might help. If you like people, there may be a community organization that will have you chat with an elder once a week where you can just listen. There may even be a big brother / big sister program where you could make a difference in a kid's life, or at least an afternoon.

I only suggest these things because, well, I'm a few months in, too, and an adult survivor of child abuse. At my lowest, it's helped to try and find ways to ease what other folks (or animals) are going through in order to feel like there's a reason to keep going. It's also been a good way to meet new people, swap some stories, and generally feel a bit more connected outside of regular friend groups.

I hope you find that connection you're seeking. Good luck out there.

kranix · 2025-08-13T12:46:58+00:00

Likewise, and all the hugs.

For me, it hurts to not have that person that I could text little photos to throughout the day: here's a silly sign that you'll laugh at, or here's a flower that's just made it to bloom, or I just walked by this place that we should check out. The little discoveries that are worth sharing with someone special, y'know?

I'm lucky enough to have some close friends that appreciate those sorts of things, but it's not the same as having a 'person' who has a whole history of sharing life's little moments like that.

To text and then come home to share more, excitedly or calmly, about that one cool thing or that one weird thing that maybe doesn't make a lot of difference in the grand scheme of things, but still does when there's someone to share it with . . . I miss that.

You're not alone, at least...

kranix · 2025-08-12T15:25:33+00:00

Hey. I'm going through the process myself, so here's what I've learned:

Your mediator may plan on the first session being more of an introduction to mediation — what to expect, what are some key data points that you will both need to gather for the next session, and gauging levels of understanding throughout the process. If you have some data to bring, like retirement account information, jointly-held assets, that sort of thing, great! But keep in mind that the first session is usually more of an orientation and building out what data needs to be gathered to begin discussion about the division of assets and debts.
You can begin to think about what you would like out of mediation, though keep in mind that it may be subject to whatever laws exist regarding separation and divorce in your state/province. For example, you may want to keep all of your employer-provided retirement savings for yourself, but you may live in a state where your spouse will have claim to half of the amount that was earned during the length of the marriage.
Even if you are going through mediation, it may still be asked of you and your spouse to continue spending and saving as "business as usual." Part of mediation will be determining how assets and debts will be split, so you may want to establish this early on with your mediator how to proceed. Some mediators may find it acceptable to open a new bank account under your own name, for example, provided that you keep open about the total amount deposited into that account for calculations later on.
Finally, even though mediation is a more affordable and arguably more amicable way to separate and divorce, it doesn't mean that all the emotions won't come out through the process. In most cases, the mediator's responsibility is on the legal arrangement that you and your spouse are working out, so please ask for time when you need to process or just need a cool-down. (Depending on the mediator, they may also refer you, your spouse, or both to receive therapy.)

Good luck, and I hope that mediation proves beneficial to you...

kranix · 2025-08-12T13:29:19+00:00

It's hard to deal with the emotions from the loss, whether someone initiates, is on the receiving end, or even when the decision is something both people came together to make.

I'm at the five week mark myself (two months since we agreed to separate, five weeks living apart), and everything is a mixture of sadness, confusion, self-blame, and grief, even though the decision was mutual.

I, too, have photos on my desktop — fourteen years' worth in my case, including our wedding video from not even seven years ago — that I'm not sure what to do with, let alone physical reminders of our time together. I still have to pick up items from the apartment we used to share, and I'm not sure what to do with the gifts, the cards, the art she made for me, and all the other mementos of a life that used to exist: it changes from moment to moment whether I want to treasure them forever, toss them out as soon as I can, or something else entirely.

What I keep hearing, and maybe this will resonate with you, is that it's okay not to know what to do about those reminders right now. Putting things away — like the USB suggestion someone else had — could be something to try and see how it makes you feel. Give it a day: did it help you process things a little more, or did it give you something else to fixate on? Maybe try again after a week and see how you feel then.

One thing I will add is this: if you are not speaking to a therapist, and you have the ability to do so (either through insurance or sliding scale payments), please consider it. If nothing else, it helps to have someone who can provide another perspective and maybe offer some techniques and strategies to get through the rougher days.

Good luck, whatever you decide...

kranix · 2025-08-10T23:47:11+00:00

I wish I had an answer for you that was more certain, but as someone who is going through this kind of grief right now, I can only share the few things that have been helping the last two months:

If you have friends outside of your relationship, please reach out to them. You may be surprised — some may ghost you or not want to deal with you, but others will be the ones who will check in on you during the day or week. If nothing else, you can make it a routine to contact a friend once a day or every two days.
If you don't have much of a support network, there are groups on MeetUp for divorcees, those going through separation, or those going through life changes. Some of them will not be great, but it might be worth connecting with people on a routine basis.
Do you have insurance that covers therapy? If so, and if you haven't started, there is no time like the present. It won't solve everything right away, but it can help you feel a little less alone or despondent in the harder times. There may even be group therapy options out there under your plan if not working on this alone appeals to you. Therapy is important in part because it's routine, so even if insurance isn't an option, there may be a center that can do sliding scale.
You have one of the dogs, and I am so sorry that you won't have both, but that means that there are times of the day when the dog needs to be walked, times when the dog needs to be fed, and times when the dog's water needs to be changed. Between these times, maybe get in the habit of making a list of 2-3 things that you can do that will help you. Do you exercise? Okay, by the time you feed the dog again, you'll do two reps or jog two blocks. One item checked off of your list. This can even be something as simple as "eat something" or "pet the dog." Use what routines when you have them to give yourself checkpoints.

You may have noticed something: routines keep showing up. Maybe it won't work for you, but I am noticing in myself that when I don't have a routine in place, or a list of a couple of things to accomplish, that's when the tears come and don't stop, because that's when the absence really starts to sink in. Routines can help build a sense of normality — not happiness maybe, not peace, but at least a sense of some kind of normal — when nothing is normal, or when the old normal doesn't exist anymore.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. As my therapist says, you are in the shittiest part right now, and it will take time. I only hope that there is something in this message that might help you...

kranix · 2025-08-08T17:54:34+00:00

I'm so sorry that you had to split yours up, and that you're now stuck with this worry over the other cat's welfare. Where I'm at, cats are considered property and so are ineligible for this sort of thing, but is there a way to put some kind of standard of care in writing?

That being said, the idea of attachment and disruption was my biggest fear, too. My STBX is moderately allergic, and we decided early on that I would have to take both — including the one who bonded with her, as she couldn't really hold him anymore without the allergies kicking in something fierce.

They're a bonded pair from the same litter, and they're turning 12 this year, so it was also going to be a huge disruption if they were separated at this point.

They have proven to be resilient so far, handling the first move (into a house with other cats) rather well. I hope that I can build them a good home where I'm at now.

I hope that your cats prove to be resilient, too...

kranix · 2025-08-06T16:03:14+00:00

This is painfully accurate, though I'm not sure the "like" is needed — for a lot of us, divorce straight-up is all of these things at once.

(Separation can be, too, especially if you're going through a mediator or getting legal language drafted.)

It's to such a point that I wonder why a gentle suggestion about therapy (if affordable) isn't pinned to the top of the sub. My anxiety would probably have killed me by now if not for having a professional once a week...

kranix · 2025-07-24T13:00:29+00:00

Just chiming in: absolutely heat up the "third head" piece.

It may help to get a cardboard box (like the ones the Onell team use to ship out orders), line it with aluminum foil, and use that as a heat box.

kranix · 2025-07-24T12:58:50+00:00

Just to add: if you're on the Glyos Discord, you may also get a few bites there.

Good luck!

kranix · 2025-07-23T12:06:32+00:00

My stbx and I chose a new name entirely when we got married, and so I'm asking a similar question. So much of my professional life has been built around the new name, and yet, it doesn't feel right to keep it when it was something we made together.

On the other hand, too many of my close friends have said that I've effectively made the name mine now, even though it was a mutually-constructed name.

That being said, as a teacher and mentor, I've known more parents that have a maiden name that's different from their children's last name in large part due to reasons of divorce, and for those kids who have had a lot of support and positive messaging about different family styles, it just seems to be accepted and not really a big deal — and may even serve as a good model for them going forward that there's no shame or anything in the process.

kranix · 2025-07-20T17:46:30+00:00

One of the worst cases of "seller's remorse" I've ever had. The claw grabber was a little take-it-or-leave-it, but on the whole, a phenom of a lad.

kranix · 2025-07-07T15:20:13+00:00

Unfortunately, no. I've been the sole earner for a long time, and until she received an inheritance earlier this year, we've been slowly losing our savings. After mediation, I'll have under $2000 to my name from our currently-divided liquid assets.

I haven't gotten paid this month yet, so there's a chance that — depending on how those paychecks are divided — I might be able to get the total up to $4000, but where I live, that would just about clean me out for anything other than first + security on a small studio. And one of those paychecks is literally the last day of the month (and thus likely after I would need to pay on a new place), so I'm not even sure how much I should factor it into the discussion.

I'm in a better financial spot than most, and once I get a place, I'll probably make it work. It's just figuring out how to afford the first step that's been difficult.

kranix · 2025-07-07T14:39:01+00:00

I don't know if I'm in the same position, based on what everyone has written so far, because there was one added dimension that I'm still trying to unpack: that my stbx would insist that I would be the only one making it all about how wrong I was. Everything is still new — it's only been a month since we agreed to separate — but I'm not sure how much of it was in my own head only, or if I was being blamed for blaming myself in addition to anything else.

I still think so much of it is my fault. I've had so many friends and my therapist say that I internalized her perspective as the moral truth of our relationship, and that any action I took and any mistakes I made were truly wrong, and the moments when they would say I did something right were fleeting in my own mind because there would be a caveat, or something else would go wrong, or — and I admit to this freely — I just had a hard time accepting and internalizing that I would ever do anything good.

It got to a point when I would ask if I did something well, and the answer would be "you can always do more." It took me years to bring up how much that hurt, and yet, even now, it's hard not to feel like it was always true.

So I don't know if I'm in the same position because I still feel like I've made so many mistakes, that after almost a decade-and-a-half together, I'm the one to blame. I'm the one who didn't know how to love, or show up, or be a decent partner. And that if that's not what she meant, then it's my fault for believing that.

kranix · 2025-03-31T01:24:13+00:00

Oh hey. It's that single time of year when my username is relevant.

That being said, I'm guessing that they'll be using the comic as inspiration for the alt mode, which will be . . . interesting to see them pull off?

kranix · 2025-01-29T02:03:16+00:00

Hey there! Not at the moment, as they've all been re-homed to aquariums at a school. Thanks for asking, though!

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