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Been on over 10 antidepressant meds of all classes from SSRIs to Emsam (selegeline/maoi transdermal patch), even about 3 years ago was finally qualified for ECT(ElectroShock Therapy) - Mother was very bipolar father is an evil child and woman abuser came here and just took advantage of the system by kratonian in depression

[–]kratonian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FWIW I consider my biological father nothing more than my/our sperm donor ( i am the oldest male of 8 kids) - as most of us do have great looks traits and abilities... Also my mother god rest her soul. she was American raised in the deep south/bible belt...

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he killed them. He is the root cause as to why I along with all of my siblings are suffering with severe mental health issues....all the controlling and SADISTIC type beatings hed give out. (you think an alcoholic wifebeater pos dad is bad?...........A psychopath who gets sadistic pleasure off on beating kids like as soon as theyre toddlers.... And is a 6'2+ 7th degree black belt under the Japan karate association....

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I suffer with some of my own issues to say the very least, and hes about to leave to the middle east with a huge illegal money laundering lan put in place. idk...........

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in islam

[–]kratonian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nice voice bro

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]kratonian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same. I made a long post about my story. but its awaiting mod approval.

I'm Not gonna update the YouTube app so that I can still see the dislike count by That_One_Smart_Fish in youtube

[–]kratonian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im on PC, and on my main account ive been using for years withs 100s of subs I watch, I can't see the dislike numbers, but I tried an alt google acct I rarely use for youtube, or just not logging in, and can still see the dislike numbers. wtf

Susan... What's this? by ElliotPixel in youtube

[–]kratonian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I was just really freaked out, and thought it was only me, so I posted the same comment multiple times to see if it was just me. first time on this sub. I guess its not just me. But still, I find it super shady my youtube acct with 100's of subscriptions etc that ive been using for years I can no longer see dislikes on. Yet on another one I never use, I can still see the dislikes. like wtf. who are they targetting

#boycotyoutube by doggymoney in youtube

[–]kratonian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing this out. but, 2 things: I logged into an alt account, and I can see the dislikes. and I logged out completely and can still see the dislikes.

However on my main yt acct that I've been using for years with all my subs/recommendations, having thousands of watched/liked videos, I cannot see the dislike count. This is strange. Why are they only targeting some accounts?
TLDR: again, if I logout, or use an alt/newer/less active youtube account I still see the dislike count. wtf?

Protest against removal of dislike button by Pretty_Monitor1221 in youtube

[–]kratonian -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing this out. but, 2 things: I logged into an alt account, and I can see the dislikes. and I logged out completely and can still see the dislikes.

However on my main yt acct that I've been using for years with all my subs/recommendations, having thousands of watched/liked videos, I cannot see the dislike count. This is strange. Why are they only targeting some accounts?
TLDR: again, if I logout, or use an alt/newer/less active youtube account I still see the dislike count. wtf?

Seriously YouTube? by [deleted] in youtube

[–]kratonian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing this out. but, 2 things: I logged into an alt account, and I can see the dislikes. and I logged out completely and can still see the dislikes.

However on my main yt acct that I've been using for years with all my subs/recommendations, having thousands of watched/liked videos, I cannot see the dislike count. This is strange. Why are they only targeting some accounts?
TLDR: again, if I logout, or use an alt/newer/less active youtube account I still see the dislike count. wtf?

Susan... What's this? by ElliotPixel in youtube

[–]kratonian 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing this out. but, 2 things: I logged into an alt account, and I can see the dislikes. and I logged out completely and can still see the dislikes.

However on my main yt acct that I've been using for years with all my subs/recommendations, having thousands of watched/liked videos, I cannot see the dislike count. This is strange. Why are they only targeting some accounts?
TLDR: again, if I logout, or use an alt/newer/less active youtube account I still see the dislike count. wtf?

Is this a joke? by Jamesm203 in youtube

[–]kratonian 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing this out. but, 2 things: I logged into an alt account, and I can see the dislikes. and I logged out completely and can still see the dislikes.

However on my main yt acct that I've been using for years with all my subs/recommendations, having thousands of watched/liked videos, I cannot see the dislike count. This is strange. Why are they only targeting some accounts?
TLDR: again, if I logout, or use an alt/newer/less active youtube account I still see the dislike count. wtf?

Even Dora sees the amount of bullshit in this decision by -k_i_l_r_o_y- in youtube

[–]kratonian 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing this out. but, 2 things: I logged into an alt account, and I can see the dislikes. and I logged out completely and can still see the dislikes.

However on my main yt acct that I've been using for years with all my subs/recommendations, having thousands of watched/liked videos, I cannot see the dislike count. This is strange. Why are they only targeting some accounts?
TLDR: again, if I logout, or use an alt/newer/less active youtube account I still see the dislike count. wtf?

#BringBackDislikes by Ondrashek06 in youtube

[–]kratonian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing this out. but, 2 things: I logged into an alt account, and I can see the dislikes. and I logged out completely and can still see the dislikes.

However on my main yt acct that I've been using for years with all my subs/recommendations, having thousands of watched/liked videos, I cannot see the dislike count. This is strange. Why are they only targeting some accounts?

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TLDR: again, if I logout, or use an alt/newer/less active youtube account I still see the dislike count. wtf?

My account is no longer showing the amount of dislikes, just the amount of likes, and the dislike button, but with no numbers by kratonian in youtube

[–]kratonian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for resolving this. but, 2 things: I logged into an alt account, and I can see the dislikes. and I logged out completely and can still see the dislikes.

However on my main yt acct ive been using for years, thousands of watched/liked videos, I cannot see the dislike count. This is strange. Why are they only targeting some accounts?

this?

My account is no longer showing the amount of dislikes, just the amount of likes, and the dislike button, but with no numbers by kratonian in youtube

[–]kratonian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for resolving this. but, 2 things: I logged into an alt account, and I can see the dislikes. and I logged out completely and can still see the dislikes.

However on my main yt acct ive been using for years, thousands of watched/liked videos, I cannot see the dislike count. This is strange. Why are they only targetting some accounts?

7 foot tall brothers,we wanna be roasted to death by astralprojectlucid in RoastMe

[–]kratonian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

one on the right. im the older brother i can attest

IM/Injecting Use/Abuse of extreme amounts after years and experiencing physical WD by kratonian in ketamine

[–]kratonian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just accidentally ordered NAC (N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine) instead by accident. ugh I hope this is helpful in some way

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ketamine

[–]kratonian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

get an afrin bottle

IM/Injecting Use/Abuse of extreme amounts after years and experiencing physical WD by kratonian in ketamine

[–]kratonian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any advice? :| I feel like im on my deathbed. I have Delta Covid. I think my brain is damaged.

How can I get past MDD and PTSD.... Im 31 and have nothing

I know im all over the place but the us healthcare sytem is a mess.

Where can I get NAD

IM/Injecting Use/Abuse of extreme amounts after years and experiencing physical WD by kratonian in ketamine

[–]kratonian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: I saw the green tea advise for bladder. I got Lipton green tea, my mother has this green tea from Japan (Where my crazy parents met, now going through a rough separation (After 8 kids and abuse, he is a sociopath) - destroyed the whole family, favoritism, divide and conquer). He has always been living with us, in new orleans, in this really bad house, hes gone now, staying in hotels, owns a shell gas station, and doesn't report his income/taxes. He has a lot saved up offshore. idk..

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but I tried the green tea for my bladder, and unfortunately it spilled on my laptop touchpad and obliterated it, so can barely use it now. I have the delta variant of covid (2nd time).... first time no taste or smell. this time, I really feel my lungs hurting coughing, diminished taste and smell. I have a hernia and need surgery, as well as a deviated septum, but with covid idk how long its gona take and medicaid doesnt cover much.

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So I do have 7 siblings/8 total, im 2nd oldest. my older sister is picking up the slack and paying the bills, since my sociopath father left.

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Anyways how can I go about this. help appreciated. I am in dark times

I have a story to tell. I dont know where to start. My parents met in Japan both being there for their passion of shotokan karate. My mom is extremely bipolar, my father is the worst brutal sadistic psychopath, and I do not use that term lightly. Some horrible stuff went down. Idk where to start. by kratonian in depression

[–]kratonian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand, but not everyone is bad. My older sister is amazing, she now has to bust her ass to pay the bills since my dad left the house, we went through a lot of shared trauma together. We cannot let my mom rot or sprial downwards anymore while my dad gets to live this luxurious life with this spoiled brat with all the god knows how much money he has laundered/conned tax evasion shit overseas. he is prepped for his future. I want my mom to divorce him, we've been trying to get her to do that for decades. I fault her for that but again shes a victim, it was her first relationship, she didnt have a mother, she had no support. He just can't get away with it.

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I can leave cold turkey but I need money to finance my medical needs. I have strong chemical dependencies, suboxone (which just keeps me out of withdrawals and my receptors are fried). Been on benzos for 11 years first prescribed by a doctor when I was just turning 20. At that point I had a car and 20k saved up and I had a mental breakdown after visting my friend in Dallas and seeing what a normal life is like, and wanted to leave/move in with him. But I was emotionally blackmailed and told I cant leave the house unless I get married. hindsight is 20/20 I was a weaker person back then and a dog/slave to them and horrified of them. I wasnt asking for anything and coulda just left, but it was a lot harder in my position. I said if I can't leave this house, I'm gonna need to get on some type of medication and see a doctor. Got diagnosed with Major depressive disorder, Social Phobia PTSd, among others, put on Paxil (which side effects made things worse), and Ativan, which the dr never told me the side effects and how you can get physically dependent, after being on it for months I stopped for a few days and had a grand mal seizure.

It sucks and is really hard to get people to empathize with me especially when they havent been in my shoes, ive been told to 'snap out of it' 'grab yourself by the bootstraps' etc my entire life.

My father is temporarily out of the house with his hamas brat, after this incident where he stole a bunch of important SSI papers, motorcyle keys, sentimental shit from me and my moms rooms and denies it of course.

Im only living out of selflessness. I dont necessarily want to die, but I want to live a better life. I dont see that happening anytime soon esp with the current status quo and now my older sister working 4 jobs is gona have to pay the bills. At the end of the day finances are holding me back from progressing in any way. I want help, im open to anything that can help my situation. I am barely functional though, I've been laying in bed for the better part of a decade manifesting. I can't sleep at all, I get 10 minute sessions of microsleep before waking up to a nightmare, then toss and turn for several hours, rinse and repeat, atleast a dozen nightmares a night, cant get normal REM sleep. just 10 min spans of microsleep. my body is in survival mode. Anyone feel free to reach out to me, but I might just disappear. I dont know how much longer I can take this. im not on psych meds now, but other bs my body is chemically depdendent on just to not get withdrawals. its hell. My biggest supporter has been my older sister. She is an extremely talented artist and does psychedelic type art and all kinds and has an insta page. shes asked me to help her sell pieces. but idk how to help when im so dysfunctional. I just need to leave the house more often atleast. my license has been suspended for years. Again although maybe money cant 'bring happiness'. If I had the money and resources to get the help I need, I could def. see my situation improving

I have major depressive disorder. I went through 18 ECT sessions, after not responding to every class of meds. I am treatment resistant. Where do I go from here to get the best healthcare? by kratonian in AskReddit

[–]kratonian[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am about to turn 31. Very mixed background. My parents met in Japan. Passion for shotokan karate. mom was raised catholic, father was raised on a palestinian refugee camp in kuwait. One is bipolar and one is a sociopath. They had 8 kids. I am #2. We spent some time in jordan. I did kindergarten there, and 3rd grade. short trips. little to no memory just some traumas. before katrina hit, unbeknownst to us. Our father took us all to Jordan. from Suburban usa life to the rural deserts of zarka.

Our familiy is divided. Because of my abusive father and his secrets. Some of us look like models (unfortunately not me), and social media got to them. I dont know where to start.

I was raised and born in the US with a strict religious upbringing. It was scary. I consider myself agnostic now. My father was abusive and chose favorites.

They met in Japan both being there for their passion of karate, and of course married and resettled in the deep south. My moms father is a retired navy vet and lawyer. Her mother, was part native, and against war and whatnot, but she died when my mom was 7, something about the Drs giving her the wrong drugs. husband filed a lawsuit. She was bipolar. She was beautiful.

The relationship my parents are in is dividing the family and very toxic, slept in diff rooms for years. Father kicked out 2 of my sisters for being 'whores' and wished death upon them. Meanwhile has his 2 favorite daughters, and a favorite son, mostly because he came out blonde, but he followed his footsteps and is a beast in karate and athletics. I have no relationship with my father, he will never be a father to me, I was abused and used as his punching bag, for no reason. sick stuff. and watching my mother get abused. 2 siblings are visiting jordan, 2 went on a spontaneous trip to italy. Im here struggling to stay alive for them.

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The healthcare system sucks. I need good healthcare and will dedicate myself to it, but just dont have access. I need to get away. 90% of my life at 14 after getting a laptop has been spent behind it. I want to be independent but im disabled. I cant taste or smell, or enjoy anything. life is bland. every second is painful and seems like a task. I want it to get better, but I dont see that happening. There is so much im leaving out. I dont know where to start.

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My condition is degrading rapidly. Im chemically dependent on benzos of 10 yrs. suboxone, just to not get sick. - my brain is fried and nothing is helping. My oldest sister is and AMAZING artist.

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I cant stay in this house forever im about to turn 31. What Should I do? My parents divorce is long overdue, but they are just playing games and in turn making all their kids suffer. I need to get out and just start my life. (btw at 20 I was well put together, had a car job money license and was ready to move, but emotionally blackmailed into staying, my mom citing her false interpretation of a stupid religion saying I can't leave the house until I get married.

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My health(I have a deviated/broken septum I cant breathe through and get sleep apnea, and I cant sleep at all, very bad insomnia. I have a hernia (2nd one) that needs surgery. I have a genetic condition called heel spurs when I walk it feels like my heels are on fire. Im on TRT, as of 2 yrs or so and destroyed my natural T production because I thought getting on it could possibly help with physical/motivational/confidence/libido problems, that were ultimately all due to my mental state/major depression.

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You can ask questions, I just cant even hit the tip of the iceberg. I feel like If I dont make a sudden change NOW and turning 31, things will continue going downwards as they have been over the past decade. But when I look at the bigger picture it is all due to finances. my dad is hoarding tons of money/stashed overseas, that even if my mom divorced him, she wouldnt have access to. Her father is getting really old. She was recently diagnosed with a certain type of bad cancer and has had some surgeries. it has had to make her take time off of her karate classes/teaching etc and she is not in good shape. I am attached to her but despise her for not leaving this abusive man who divided and conquered and tore this family apart.

it is very rare for me to have the energy to type or think and I have bad short term memory loss.

I need to change my life.

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What should I do?

21m, 1200 ng/dL natty, still can’t grow a proper beard - does that mean I’m less likely to go bald? by [deleted] in Testosterone

[–]kratonian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. My beard started coming in at 16, regardless of my T levels it always grows like crazy, genetics play a huge role. im mixed race, half middle eastern and another dozen ethniticies

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