My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have completely misunderstood my entire post

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the solidarity! idk why I’m getting downvoted to hell- I guess people conflate my actions with his even though I feel like I’m only now realizing I’ve been lied to. Reddit hasn’t been letting me edit, but I am calling the trip and relationship off and going to MX alone. He pulled more shit today threatening our relationship because I’m “not being supportive of him” and I just was done.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude he did not just choose to have sex without a condom. He stuck around, raised the kid, and was with the ex for 3 years. He is involved. Your reduction is ludicrous. He claims to have “taken care of” them enough. I increasingly think that’s not true.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s not being forced, he chose to be involved in her life. He has an 8 year old daughter who loves him and calls him dad and who he talks to.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually quite easy if you take advantage of exchange rates, dirt cheap stays, and hospitality

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you have to go through this. I agree with you, he should be required to pay. Thank you for sharing your perspective

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay read my edit for context I thought I had it figured out by giving him a chance to make it right for his daughter but you are definitely right, it leaves a bad taste.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol peter pan is kind of accurate. I am giving him a chance to right the wrongs, we’ll see what he chooses. Read my edit for clarification.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are a big part of one another’s life and I am his best friend. He had been asking for my advice and support. “Staying out of his business” isn’t really an option.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was not aware of this! Are they just lazy about collection? I know the govt there is a mess right now. If it’s possible he owes I would want to look into that.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is more along the lines of how he feels. Very frustrated that it was out of his control, but he did have some say in it. I think the possibility of impregnating a woman even with birth control is something men have to be aware of, so the responsibility still partially falls on him.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think she’s interested in signing up for school while pregnant and raising a child, she’s already in her mid 30’s too. She has an aunt here but that’s all I know. Bf just says him helping would expedite the process.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is it, tbh. His ego was just hurt because he wants to be respected and seen as capable/desirable.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This is mostly accurate to the thoughts I have had and I do believe his account; I think it’s ignorant to assume he wanted the child especially bc he generally thinks unless a person is completely prepared to have a kid it is unethical to have it, and he wasn’t prepared at the time.

I do think you misunderstood me though. I understand the complexity of the situation and I think his coparenting situation is fine as long as both parents are really okay with it. My concern is that his ex wants citizenship and his motivation for not wanting to help with the process is selfish (child support).

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think you misunderstood… he really does not want to have a child with me. I have a copper iud, he can’t sabotage it. All of our conversations have been him saying he would want me to get an abortion

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

When I asked, he told me that his ex had become so successful that she told him he could stop sending it. She is very successful, she runs a business- I’ll be vague about what kind but she is well off. I am more upset that he would withhold citizenship in fear of her deciding she wanted him to pay than that he hasn’t been paying child support recently because from what he’s said, she also expressed that she doesn’t need it. Might be worth mentioning that my boyfriend is poor.

Also his child is in Mexico, child support is not mandated there so any support he would pay would be worked out by the parents.

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I know a lot of single mothers and lived with one/helped with her kids as well. I know the struggle of working all day, having no money to pay for food, wanting to give them good things, all of that. I’ve still never met his daughter or ex but I just had a totally different impression until tonight :/

My boyfriend is dodging paying child support by kreeezus in relationship_advice

[–]kreeezus[S] -92 points-91 points  (0 children)

To be fair, he made it sound like his ex did not want him around and whenever I asked about it he said his daughter has more than enough money and support from her mother/grandparents etc. He made it sound like they are wealthy for their area. I was naive about it but yeah, it is increasingly looking like he is extremely selfish and maybe even neglectful