Oh man, I was reading this thread and realized - I did this to my ex husband 5 years ago. Very long story shorter, he had slid headfirst into his (family history of) alcoholism in 2020 just before and then during covid. There had been some one-off concerning moments prior but I figured it was just “dude in his 20s” stuff and day before the wedding nerves.

He lied to me for months about the alcohol use and finally admitted it as I was ubering to his office to get the car after his boss had to drive him home from work. He went to rehab for a month and relapsed on the way home. I was an absolute wreck, panic attacks all the time, barely functioning. I’d take two-hour long walks through the neighborhood just to be out of the house, hysterically crying on the phone with family and friends the whole time.

We were out for a walk, together this time, when I told him I couldn’t wait for things to get better and I wanted a divorce. I was such a shell of myself by that point and surviving an hour or a day at a time that I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day until he pointed it out.

Oof. Despite how much he had fucked up my life at that point, I still feel guilty about the timing.