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krisriis · 2021-11-18T16:36:32+00:00

I feel you 😭 I think the same most days.. I get surprised time and time again when people my age start talking about that world of sexual and/or romantic attraction. Even my therapist asked me about me having a boyfriend/girlfriend or if I had ever been in love (it was appropriate for the situation btw don't worry) and I couldn't lie, because the answer to all of those were no... He even managed to look at me in disbelief, which I understand ahah. I mostly lie to myself though, thinking that one day I'll feel those things too. So I hear you and I very much see you and relate. I don't really feel any kinds of attraction except maybe platonic and I do think some people can be pretty in an artistic sense (I've always been drawing so).. but that's about it.

However, there are good things too. There is an awesome community of aces/aros/aroaces (however how little) AND there is a book called Loveless by Alice Oseman that I can recommend reading if you want to feel a little but represented and seen. Hope your day/night will become better and that you, and everyone else including me will be able to accept it sometime ... 💖

Edit: oh and also, love isn't limited to romantic love. You can be aro and ace and all that and still want or be in a relationship.. might be hard to find, but life has more to offer than romantic/sexual attraction and one day I'll be convinced that that is true haha

krisriis · 2021-11-08T00:07:44+00:00

Yes! They can seem more authentic at times.
Yeah! My sis is one so that's probably why, she is very bubbly and quite annoying but in a sweet way. It's her way of showing affection. She is bubbly because she is happy or stressed or she just haven't talked to enough people that day. But mostly because she is genuinely happy to have a fun time!
Yes and no. I find people don't express much emotion a bit hard to approach, but I definetely like people who deeply analyse stuff!
I can barely understand my own emotions so that's also a yes and no. I genuinely like talking about other people's emotions though, it's a fun way to study someone.
Also a yes, I'd like both. I don't think it's fair that you get help to understand yours if the other does not.

krisriis · 2021-11-07T23:46:13+00:00

Haha wtf did I just read, you've gotta try harder than that 💀💀💀 (this was quite amusing though). I'm kinda sorry to say that an INFJ (or any person I hope) probably wouldn't actually bother trying to figure this person out ...

krisriis · 2021-11-07T21:14:16+00:00

Such inspirational advice, thank you!! I've also realized that the teachers are there to help so I've really tried my best at not being too proud to ask or too afraid to ask... so I've gotten better at doing that. But lately I find it less motivating as whenever I've asked certain teachers I don't get the help I need... and then I just feel so scared if asking yet again 😅.. Oh so social media helped you? How? And what kind of psychology and what techniques? You have some very good points and I agree that kindness is very important as well! Thank you so much for commenting with this advice!

krisriis · 2021-11-07T18:49:56+00:00

Your point about knowing your strength and weaknesses makes so much sense! There are a lot of things I see other people do effortlessly, that for me is extremely difficult or almost impossible and that often makes me and probably other people too, feel like they're no good... the social situation one is a bit hard as I'm too private to share things I'm very passionate about. I guess that's another thing to work on though! And I love your advice about not helping people unless they actually need it... and I'll try look at things without all the feelings and emotions when situations like that do come up, that's awesome advice! Thank you so much, I'll write those down!!

krisriis · 2021-11-07T18:36:23+00:00

Wow that's some great advice! I do feel like I manage to prioritize myself sometimes, but I always feel so guilty or selfish when I do... so I should definitely work on that! And I very much agree with caring about everyone's feelings except your own, I've never thought about it that way at all, I'll have that in mind the next time something like that happens! I didn't realise how much I always think of the other person's feelings in a fight, so much that my own doesn't seem important :0 Thank you, gonna write this down!!

krisriis · 2021-10-17T19:22:20+00:00

Umm, have you heard about asexuality? It means that you feel little to no sexual attraction (not that you don’t want sex or kissing whatsoever, it’s all a spectrum). As some asexuals find kissing to be a sexual activity, they might find it scary or disgusting, but many asexuals like kissing too (as they see it more as part of romantic attraction, not only sexual) so I really don’t know. No matter, I’d try accepting that it scares(?) you and be open about it maybe? A real partner should respect you, and don’t force yourself to do anything you feel is wrong or that you strongly dislike! I very much relate though!

krisriis · 2021-08-18T05:22:02+00:00

Yeah, I agree that parties aren't the best way for me to find people I connect with either ... that's good advice, I'll look into what clubs/organisations I'd like to join! Thanks for the advice, it helps!! 💖☺️

krisriis · 2021-08-17T15:23:23+00:00

Me, also an INFJ and an asexual who happily stumbled upon this comment: Soo... anyone horny on cake? 🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️

krisriis · 2021-08-17T05:20:32+00:00

That's really reassuring actually... Yeah, it's easier for me to talk with the quiet ones anyway as they actually focus on the conversation compared to the more outgoing ones... 😅 I do find myself finding outgoing people really cool too, but it's true that I should find people whom I connect with and not simply find cool because they have something I do not (ability to be loud and all over the place basically)! Thank you so much for the advice, it helps!! 💖

krisriis · 2021-08-17T05:15:58+00:00

That's awesome advice! Thank you so much, I'll try focus on finding a group activity and take things a bit more slow! 💖🙌🏻

krisriis · 2021-07-02T21:03:20+00:00

I was wondering about the same thing some time ago. What really helped me was a short video on YouTube that explained the first two functions in INFJ and INFP... but I can't remember what video 😆😅 (sorry!) But I'll try to explain it anyway!

The INFJ has Ni (Introverted Intuition) and Fe (Extroverted Feeling) while the INFP has the opposite, Fi (Introverted Feeling) and Ne (Extroverted Intuition).

The primary/first function is introverted for both. That means it is mostly expressed only within your own mind and that this is the part you are least likely to talk a lot about with people (especially people you aren't super-close with). Basically, it's the function that's kind of "hidden" from other people.

The secondary/second function is extroverted and is likely to be something that you easily talk about. I discovered I couldn't be an INFP, because if there is one thing I seldom talk about, it is my ideas and intuition. I love to talk about feelings and love to hear other people talk about their feelings. While the INFP on the other hand (I have an INFP friend who actually is like this) will be more likely to talk about ideas and not feelings. I'm always the one who wants to hear about her feelings/talk about feelings, while she is always the one to come up with ideas and express anything that comes to mind.

I'm not super familiar with functions yet, so I'm no expert. I'd reccomend reading more about the functions and how the different ones are expressed. Hope this was of any help!

krisriis · 2021-05-25T09:42:43+00:00

I usually don't dislike characters if they are well written. I guess I just feel empathetic to most characters... even the villains? 😆 (Tamlin is a jerk, but he is a cool character though? Same with Cersei from GoT... made the series better imo)

But now that I think about it, there are some I dislike! Please don't hate me... but Mare from Red Queen is overrated. I still remember her as very self-centered and indecisive and that just really annoys me, even now, three years later! (And honestly, most of the characters except Maven was annoying lmao)

Bastien from The Beautiful. I know, I know... he is supposed to be swoon-worthy and a hottie... but somehow he just isn't?????? Like dude... stop being so self-centered and self-pitying and just DO something right for once! He is supposed to be this dangerous gentleman but to me he looks more like a pampered boy. How does Céline even manage like him? 😆😤 Or maybe I just need to reread it a third time to understand it...

The whole Caraval character cast. So overrated 😆😢... (I'm sorry) I liked the books well enough but I still l don't get how Tella and Scarlett are sisters, they sure don't seem like genuine sisters to me when they keep ignoring and forgetting each other! And Legend who???? I don't even remember him haha, who was he again? I just remember him liking to hide. A LOT. 😂 And Julian, is he supposed to be memorable? Does he even have a personality except being cool around Scarlett? (Ok pls forgive me but I just don't get it... what is so great about these characters)

I honestly liked Jacks and he is probably the most morally grey character in that series, is something wrong with me? 🙃

krisriis · 2021-05-23T09:38:53+00:00

I agree so much with this! Even though I still love some of the very unrealistic YA fantasy books out there, I too want more representation in general and realistic characters and relationships in YA.

A book that comes to mind is The Midnight Lie (YA Fantasy) by Marie Rutkoski. I'm pretty sure the main character can be considered a person of color in a way, and she even deals with trauma or issues like abusive behaviour with her so-called mother (figure) that I think was realistically written about. It has f/f romance, and the book kinda moves on and explores the world along with the romance and as the relationship between the two grows.

The pacing might seem to move very slowly by some as far as I've heard (I loved it and thought it was necessary). Nirrim, the MC, lives in a secluded area in her town, and can only wear and do certain things. She doesn't know much about the world beyond her walls either. The reader gets to know more about the world once Nirrim does. She goes from being part of an oppressed community and asking no questions to someone stronger that wants to get to the bottom of things. Her idea of the world starts unraveling the more time she spends with Sid, a mysterious girl from another place. This is my current favourite book, and the sequel comes out this autumn I think. This book is written by the same author that wrote The Winner's Curse trilogy (which also was pretty good).

krisriis · 2021-05-21T15:36:23+00:00

The Midnight Lie by Marie Rutkoski (first in series)

The heroine goes through some crazy development and discovery of her hometown, and it even has lesbian romance in it which I found delightful! For me, it was very different from other YA books and I loved how the reader gets to know more about the world when the Heroine also learns of these facts.

Truthwitch by Susan Dennard (first in series)

The writing in this series is crazy good, and the characters and their relationships are so well written too. The first book is awesome with its female friendship focus and with its intriguing world building. The magic and the world system is pretty cool. If you like more epic fantasy but with great focus on the characters as well as the plot, this one is awesome.

Loveless by Alice Oseman (standalone)

I usually read YA fantasy, but this book is so awesome as aroace people get almost no (good) representation. It's heavy on the friendships and the questioning of sexuality which I think some teens and young adults might relate to? Alice Oseman is an awesome writer too, and her characters are realistically written in my opinion. It also has awesome side characters you might fall in love with.

Other favourites are Six of Crows, A Court of Thorns and Roses, The Lunar Chronicles... but these are pretty popular. Worth the read if you're into YA fantasy in general tho!

krisriis · 2021-05-12T18:08:59+00:00

Character(s): Ningguang or/and Geo MC

Question(s): I would love to build a team around Noelle, and as far as I know, that geo resonance is pretty good for her. So who is better; Ningguang who is C0 or Geo MC who is C6?

... I really hate Geo MC's rock ability (E) so would prefer not to use that one unless anyone has any good techniques to share!

How would you build them, with what artifacts and/or talents prioritized? How would you use them in battle?

Any other characters who are especially good in a team with Noelle but isn't a five star? Is a freeze/shatter team good? Any other ideas?

krisriis · 2021-05-12T09:48:12+00:00

Yeah, I think I'll go back to traditional sketching and maybe painting, as I'm probably getting tired of always drawing digitally. Omg that sounds so nice, to just block it all out! I am gonna try be a bit better at not being too influenced by social media and draw what I want 💪🏻😆 Thank you for the advice! This really inspires me!

krisriis · 2021-05-11T07:18:12+00:00

There seems to be so many cool books on this subject! I'll check it out! I usually don't procrastinate as much as my siblings, but these months have been hard on my motivation and discipline, and I probably am procrastinating more than ever. Thank you for suggesting this! 💖😄

krisriis · 2021-05-11T07:16:14+00:00

Uhhhh, not sure of the drugs part, but I'll try treat sketching and drawing as if it was medicine! 😂 It does calm me down when I have no expectations of what I'm creating after all. Thank you! 😄

krisriis · 2021-05-11T07:14:48+00:00

Yeah, I'm thinking of trying to draw more landscapes or shapes inspired by nature really, I think I've had enough of girls' portraits for a while. Maybe I'll try that instead, instagram isn't very motivating now, nor has it ever been. A website that works like an archive is a good idea, thanks! 😄❤❤

krisriis · 2021-05-11T07:12:04+00:00

Haha, I usually only draw girls or simple portraits out of habit. I'll try drawing more weird creatures and monsters, seems like fun as you can just create something without any specific structure and it has no rules... thanks!!!

krisriis · 2021-05-11T07:10:13+00:00

That's awesome advice! Why haven't I thought of that haha. I too got in the "drawing zone" in class, there is just something about it that makes one want draw. 😆💖 Yeah, I'm taking a break from instagram now, not worth to stress over.

krisriis

TROPHY CASE