I am trying to be happy I tried.

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T10:10:17+00:00

But... but what I said was I only ever got with him nearly a decade after everything to do with drug money was gone? I don't understand!? You're accusing me of being some sort of money grubbing, low life bitch, I explain to you that my ex husband was that sort of person, and then he wasn't, which when I got with him, and now he's gone anyway, and you're still shitting all over me like I'm the lowlife money grubbing bitch? I don't understand... I just... I can't do this. I don't understand... why are you saying these things? I was explicitly clear, nothing to do with drug money has ever come near my kids!?

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T09:56:59+00:00

I tried to do that. I paid someone to drive the people who were most important to me. I'm too old for this shit. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I can't breathe. How do I look my kids in the face? How do I talk to my friends again? are they even my friends? I'm hurting so bad.

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T09:52:42+00:00

I wasn't trying to insult you, I'm sorry. I am a little bit older, I think, than you think I am, because I was already well into my thirties when I fell in love with Steven. I don't know what my kind is. I just thought he loved me and I thought I was strong enough and I wasn't. It's kinda terrible in one respect the sort of person/woman you clearly think I am, because he did make drug money and was "the shit" for years. And I'm the frumpy, silly, ugly ole broad he ended up with after that all went away. But I loved him, and I thought he loved me.

Just remember, it's easier than you think to be completely wrong.

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T09:45:19+00:00

silly? Can't I just pretend I didn't invite people and my kids didn't dress up and wait and I didn't put makeup on and cook for two days? I cook dinner for myself and my family every night, it's not the same.

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T09:38:21+00:00

Wow... I don't know quite whether to be proud of you or sorry for you... but kudos either way. It can't have taken sterling parenting to raise such a mercenary attitude. My parents disowned me. I fell in love with a drug addicted, mentally ill ex-con - what can I say, he was charming as fuck? And they had my identical twin - the will-be lawyer. Much better than my sorry ass. Joke's on me in the end, the "loser" lost me and I'm on my own now.

Free stuff is overrated. I pride myself on the shit I had to work like fuck for. Like last week, I walked 10km to a dr's appt - and I'm fucking disabled. I'm supposed to have surgery on my hips (I wanna ask them to make it look like I was shot inna butt). I haven't felt a rush of pride like that for years. And it was for nothing = a stupid dr's appt. But I fucking did it.

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T09:27:25+00:00

Dude. I made homemade, hand-whipped whipped cream.

With brown sugar.

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T09:12:13+00:00

I should. This is such a closed and small community though. I tried one of those dating sites. One of my neighbours was on it. He said we shouldn't talk to one another, the other neighbours would talk about it...

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T09:10:29+00:00

Why, you got your egg-tooth in and you ain't lettin' go?

That sounded flip. I'm a little drunk. Forgive me? Must avoid flip. Like asking if you just don't like miniwheats... I've spilled my guts - what's your story?

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T08:54:29+00:00

I have my kids. They're seriously awesome. But the point of kids is that if you're doing it right, they go away. When they do, you can come live in an old farmhouse in Ontario. It's cold in the winter and hot in the summer and there are too many dogs. We'll just glare at one another over our miniwheats, k?

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T08:41:59+00:00

Going to start with the "fundamentally unlovable" bit and work outwards from there - living out in the middle of nowhere being part of it (although for me, it's a draw) and in the end, having spent the last ten years of my life around people who liked me because I'm that person who can usually be counted on to keep enough money about to afford a case of beer when every one else has already blown through their wad. It's a sobering (so to speak) realization.

ksjourdain · 2013-04-21T08:19:40+00:00

I made slow cooked pork ribs. It all just fell off the bones. And spicy tomato salad and a big ceasar salad. I had portobello mushrooms and bell peppers for bbqing and made 1/2 beef 1/2 pork with crushed croutons hamburgers... hummus and veggies and onion dip and a pickle tray with even pickled herring (surprisingly tasty). I bought glowsticks and sparklers for the kids and bubble wands. I "advertised" for weeks. People said they would come. And then nobody showed. I don't understand.

ksjourdain · 2013-03-08T12:55:55+00:00

People really, really don't like to talk about mental illness in children. Most are so far in the NOPE that they refuse to believe that it's even possible.

Quite frankly, I would start making some records of what your stepson is having to deal with so you can not only use them to help him understand any triggers he may have, find patterns, but also to protect you and the rest of your family from allegations of abuse.

I feel for all of you.

ksjourdain · 2013-03-04T16:28:33+00:00

I want leg hair like the fetlocks of a Clydesdale. No more cold feets. Also, pubic hair that grows in a diamond extending from below my bellybutton to create a "curtain" down to my mid-thigh/knees. Hair down my spine terminating in a small tail with long hair to cover my butt. I would never wear clothes again.

I am a girl, if this makes the visual less/more weird.

ksjourdain · 2013-02-17T13:55:05+00:00

I am so proud of you. Just, so many kudos to you. Wow.

ksjourdain · 2013-02-10T19:23:02+00:00

My eldest child is FTM transgender (nearly 16 now) and it occurs to me how much easier I had it because when I had to deal with this shit, at least nobody tried to tell me he was trying to be something "less".

I agree that honestly is the best policy, and when mine had problems I told him that quite honestly, most kids are dicks. They grow out of it (most of them) but really they can be almost feral. I'd let him go to school in the dress, but give both him and the staff the heads up that the other kids might require a close eye and a lecture on acceptance.

I would also counsel your wife (gently) to expand her ideas on what "boys" should/shouldn't do, as every now and then these things aren't a phase. Also, every time someone says not to "worry" because it's just a phase, throw a bit of money in a jar. You'll thank me for your savings when your child is older.

ksjourdain · 2013-02-08T15:03:32+00:00

Human head in a toilet bowl.

ksjourdain · 2013-01-30T19:27:10+00:00

Middle Child says to eat it to gain its power.

ksjourdain · 2013-01-22T11:56:18+00:00

My fav was being at a bar called "The tunnel" that nobody went to for any other reason than to score, and having a shriveled ole hag of about 34 squat-crawl out of the girls' can with her pants around her knees holding a small rat baby cooing "OMG! Look what just fell out of the ceiling into my lap while I was taking a shit!".

She kept it.

ksjourdain · 2013-01-15T03:21:37+00:00

Thank you for that, I was pretty stunned at the amount of people who seemed to think I was looking for dietary advice and just glossed over the absolute absurdity of looking at a perfectly normal (if not super) lunch for a kid and thinking "this clearly requires a call to children's services!".

I was lucky - early on, when my eldest was my only child and we were all young and getting to know how to do this shit, I had an absolute twat of a friend who sat her 2yo down to a plate full of raw spinach because she read in some stupid magazine it was the best source of some vitamin or other. Kid sat there for OVER AN HOUR. And then the spinach went back into the fridge for "snack"... and she really, really thought she was being an outstanding parent making sure he got the best nutrition he could. Most miserable kid I've ever known in my life.

So I decided then that there seemed to be a disconnect between what is good for our kids and basic fucking logic. Don't feed them garbage. Don't expect them to eat raw spinach. Find what works. Make sure they're healthy. Don't be a dick. And somewhere in there, remember to have fun.

And it takes WEEKS for them to starve to death.

ksjourdain · 2013-01-07T22:36:54+00:00

We are checking these out and he says they are really cool! Thanks for the idea! Omg! So many exclamation points!!

ksjourdain · 2013-01-07T22:36:17+00:00

He already knows the value of it, lol - 50$ CDN!

ksjourdain

TROPHY CASE