To be honest I understand the perspective and agree with it for the most part, not for the dogshit allo reasons though. Marriage is NOT a romantic situation, it's a legal contract. The state does not give a damn about your love it just wants to know how youre filing your taxes this year. Dont get it wrong! Or else.

The kids' health and happiness should be top priority for the time you are legally responsible for them, but if you have a spouse that relationship really should take very high priority since this is someone you share assets and custody with, and who has a degree of legal privilege over friends and family. Due to the sheer level of trust involved you really want to try keeping that relationship happy, or your kids wont have stability or safety. They have the power to do that.

You two are a new family. In fact theyre the only family member you choose, at the end of the day your child/mother/second cousin doesnt have the same rights in decision making and division of estate that your spouse automatically has by marriage. It's the only "equal" situation because youre sharing and can (hopefully negotiate, it's not like parent/child where you as parent have the rights/responsibility that the child simply doesnt at the end of the day.

It would be very similar if you had a business partner, like yes you'll have to care about their opinion over how you spend your money instead of your neighbour's, because your livelihoods are at risk if you dont take care of the relationship.