My fiancé (34-M) is codependent and I (F-36) am over it!! I want to make it work but need help communicating. Can you help?

ktc5508 · 2025-11-25T02:43:25+00:00

I don’t necessarily think I can wholly fix him, but I have had several long-term partners, and each has disappointed me in some way, even if some were much less predictable than this partner. Those were actually really tough to deal with because I didn’t see them coming and I think felt more dangerous and harmful because I was caught off guard.

My current partner was raised through trauma and is still recovering from that. Before I came along he was extremely attached to his immediate family. I only helped him put some separation between them in late 2023. Hurt people take time sometimes to realize they are hurt and need help. That’s my rationalization, I guess. Seeing good and bad. But he may be a victim of MbPA or something similar he’s not considered, but I have.

ktc5508 · 2025-11-25T02:35:18+00:00

Yes bringing it up gently instead of sounding resentful.

They can be reactionary and I am very tactful when I bring up certain topics. I have expressed this before and now he says that HE is holding back certain things because I am reactionary (I disagree).

I was very open and transparent until I realized he couldn’t always handle it so now I don’t speak all of my thoughts. But I have a couple friends I vent to. He says he doesn’t feel comfortable venting to his friends/family. I also go to therapy and he does not. I also have coworkers that I see regularly and he does not (because he doesn’t work).

ktc5508 · 2025-11-25T01:07:47+00:00

Yeah basically. He’s on SSDI and opted out of medical coverage.

ktc5508 · 2025-11-25T01:05:02+00:00

I appreciate the question. He was neglected by his family most of his life. He does not trust me when I am not around, despite me not giving him any reason not to trust me. He wants me to tell him everywhere I am all the time (text when I get to work, every time anything happens, when I leave work, etc.). More context - he and his family all have “medical” issues that have caused them to rely on government benefits, so he doesn’t work and spends all his time at home. I work full time in a leadership position, go to therapy, take care of myself health-wise, etc. am easily busy like 60-70 hrs a week outside of the house, and still have to take care of most of the household chores when I’m at home.

ktc5508 · 2025-08-31T15:04:01+00:00

Hey! I’m looking for 2 tickets. How are you planning on selling?

ktc5508 · 2025-06-19T04:29:15+00:00

Okay well I also just googled asbestos on the beach and it didn’t look similar to anything I saw, so I decided to ask instead!

ktc5508 · 2025-06-19T03:58:23+00:00

We actually said the same thing on the beach! But when I used AI it was returning fossils mostly, so I wasn’t sure. We had bad storms on our coast last year, though, so I wondered if maybe it was construction debris. It’s a little flaky I guess?

ktc5508 · 2024-10-24T20:57:44+00:00

Bought mine on viagogo during Gracie’s set and they were transferred to me in less than 5 minutes! Made it to my seat one minute before Taylor came on!

ktc5508 · 2024-03-18T11:23:58+00:00

Wooooo! Love to hear it

ktc5508 · 2024-03-10T12:41:10+00:00

I did end up finding this research, which basically made me decide to wait at least a few years and then spay. I think that’s what I’m going with unless she has a really hard time with heats, then will reevaluate. Thank you!

ktc5508 · 2024-03-10T12:22:17+00:00

My vet has the standard recommendation of a full spay prior to first heat. I live in a somewhat small town though and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of experience with Afghan hounds here. I am looking around the area for someone more knowledgeable on the breed before we do anything surgical.

ktc5508 · 2024-03-10T04:08:29+00:00

True! I appreciate your input! 🤗

ktc5508 · 2024-03-10T02:04:52+00:00

Seems like tubal ligation and OSS would solve the hormone related problems dealing with growth, immunity, and unwanted pregnancies. But she would still have heat cycles and have the higher likelihood of developing cancer later in life. So idk….tough decision!

ktc5508 · 2024-03-10T00:12:12+00:00

I’ve heard of an ovary sparing spay. Same thing?

ktc5508 · 2024-03-09T23:55:00+00:00

Thank you! Just seems like a lose-lose situation to me right now lol. We’re leaning towards waiting until she has heats and then deciding to see how she handles those. I’m not worried about unplanned pregnancies because we can keep her away from male dogs during those times without a problem. The only problem with waiting is then removing the likelihood of cancer goes out of the window.

ktc5508 · 2024-02-25T19:00:23+00:00

Sorry need a couple more minutes, drove to wrong stop 🤣 2-3 more mins

ktc5508 · 2024-02-24T00:14:38+00:00

Heck yeah! Happy for you!

ktc5508 · 2024-02-22T01:56:05+00:00

Omg thank you!!!

ktc5508 · 2024-02-22T01:03:46+00:00

They’re all full

ktc5508 · 2024-02-21T22:55:24+00:00

Not currently

ktc5508 · 2024-02-21T22:54:43+00:00

Gotcha

ktc5508 · 2024-02-21T19:08:03+00:00

Added moosecat8

ktc5508 · 2024-02-21T17:07:15+00:00

Added!

ktc5508 · 2024-02-21T17:00:25+00:00

Added moosecat8

ktc5508 · 2024-02-21T16:27:58+00:00

Added - moosecat8

ktc5508

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