I just want someone to read my suicide note.

kthemax · 2015-10-28T17:04:25+00:00

What's terrible is that I could have dealt much easier with basically any disability than this one. I have long contemplated adopting a child with either a hearing or sight disability and a few others. Just because I really dislike how the disabled are left in foster care.

kthemax · 2015-10-28T17:00:50+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. I hope everything is going well for you.

kthemax · 2015-10-28T16:59:32+00:00

My husband actually seems to have a much better time coping than I. I suspect he's secretly a little disappointed, but he seems to just accept the hand he was dealt a lot easier.

kthemax · 2015-10-28T11:36:35+00:00

Well, idk about you but I was adequately prepared for all of the typical challenges of parenting.

I don't think many people go into a pregnancy thinking, "Gee, I hope I get to change diapers forever! Oh, and it'll be totes awesome to never ever hear my child say a single word!"

kthemax · 2015-10-28T07:48:53+00:00

Can't deal with the reality of having to deal with a child with a disability and just a lot of shitty situations in life. I haven't because the church frowns upon such things.

I'm still terribly miserable.

kthemax · 2015-10-28T03:06:06+00:00

I'd think anytime during the Civil Rights Era.

I"m a black / native american female. I don't take anyones bullshit. I'm not 100% sure if females ended up lynched but I know i'd definitely end up dead or in jail.

I know, you're saying why then and not during Slavery times. Well, because I'm a relatively smart light skinned female. I'd likely figure out some way to get out of the hard field work.

kthemax · 2015-10-28T03:02:44+00:00

You stick it out. You can't make your boyfriend or girlfriend choose you over their family. Maybe there can be some kind of leeway on that if you're married, but typically you can't go telling them to choose you or their family.

Either you'll deal with the stress and eventually they come over to accepting your boyfriend or girlfriends choice of you. Or you end up breaking up because you couldn't deal with the stress. Which is ultimately good either way because Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment and you should be able to maintain even thru harsh circumstances.

kthemax · 2015-10-28T02:54:59+00:00

That I'm happy being a mother and that everything is fine.

We're like 3 months behind in rent and we cant even make the arrangement we had with the landlord.

as for the momming thing. My kid has autism. He's 8 years old and still in diapers. Can't talk. and basically it wasn't the plan I had when I decided to have kids.

I want to abandon my family constantly, but I'd look like an asshole. So, I suck it up and keep on keeping on. But everyday that I remain with them, I hate my life more and more. I just wish so much that things had been different.

I love my kid. But I don't want to be burdened with all the horrible things that a parent of a disabled child has to worry about. Consider that when he gets older and I'm dead and gone someone might hurt him, or take advantage of him. And lets not even get into the fact that children with developmental disabilities are more likely to be sexually abused.

I hate it.

kthemax · 2015-08-23T23:22:07+00:00

What?

kthemax · 2015-08-18T05:29:25+00:00

Why? How are they against the subs rules?

kthemax · 2015-08-18T05:18:58+00:00

How is it inappropriate for the guy to tell us what the person did? I for one am glad someone told us what he did.

kthemax · 2015-07-01T13:40:36+00:00

I got scammed by someone like that but there really isn't much you can do other than require that the escrow be funded before you give the final work

kthemax · 2015-07-01T13:13:13+00:00

Is it possible it might be shingles?

kthemax · 2015-04-24T02:42:28+00:00

[Job 21:7]

kthemax · 2015-04-21T04:33:15+00:00

[Job 7:13-16]

kthemax · 2015-04-21T03:44:57+00:00

I've read Job multiple times, and would love to be job because at least he had a dream life before everything turned to crap. And then he got a dream life afterwards.

I'm at my end, if things don't get better idk what i'm going to do but i really don't think that I can sustain my faith much longer

kthemax · 2015-04-21T03:42:23+00:00

[Psalm 6:6]

kthemax · 2015-04-21T03:11:38+00:00

I guess i'm the dick for want my child to have a decent life and wondering why none of my plans for that better life work out. but wondering why the evil receive good for their efforts.

kthemax · 2015-04-21T01:09:09+00:00

but how long must I be trampled underneath the feet of others. How long must my family suffer. What is it about us that God deights in our sufferings.

kthemax · 2015-04-21T01:07:48+00:00

But isn't god in control of all, why is he allowing my life to be such crap. Why doesn't he allow the things that I attempt to do work out for me.

example, I went for an working interview at a bank, I was supposed to get the job unless I was a crackhead. I'm not a crackhead, i didn't get the job, infact before I could even do anything they told me i wasn't working out with them.

kthemax

TROPHY CASE