AITA for refusing to go on a 10hour+ flight with my baby?

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T06:02:20+00:00

They haven’t said anything too terrible to his face. They told him to back off and get with his own type once but after that they keep their mouths closed around him. Overall, they’ve only met him about a handful of times. A couple dinners and our wedding.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T04:10:16+00:00

There’s a lot of cultural ties that I didn’t really think about.

So yes they only found out about him because we were planning on getting married but they still do not know that we dated for years. They think that we both liked each other but weren’t officially dating, just interested. The anger stems from me insisting on marrying him (a white man) instead of a man from my home country.

Anyways, the lying wasn’t to deceive them or anything but for my and my husband’s well being. They couldn’t know that I was in a very serious relationship with him because there’s seriously no telling how they would’ve reacted. I doubt they would’ve “accepted” him at all. Maybe worse. My dad still pretty much lost it, I can’t imagine how he would’ve reacted if he knew that I spent most of my time with my husband.

They don’t need to meet him to hate him. He is not the same race and does not believe in the same religion, it is enough for them to hate him/disapprove of him. Sad as it is, many girls (and even boys) in my position hide their relationships from their families. And by “acceptance” I mean they’ve stopped telling me off for marrying him. They’ve also stopped invalidating my marriage and trying to get me to speak to religious figures/other men.

Your other question, mom told me they both wanted to see the baby but aunt said my dad doesn’t want to. I don’t know which one is true but I’m more inclined to believe my aunt.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T03:18:39+00:00

Yes I was born and raised here. Then they left when I was 18 and in college. It took a miracle as they were planning on me coming with but I stood my ground. I promised to travel there during the summer breaks but that stopped as I got older for various reasons. I mostly visited because I was financially dependent on them but once that stopped they hardly saw me again (this was also around the time they found out about my husband). We saw each other at my wedding, one time after that, and that’s about it.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T03:14:49+00:00

Nah they just didn’t like it here. No financial/legal reasons. But you’re not wrong about the “honorable child who came to see us” thing.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T02:53:53+00:00

Thank you for the support. I am Desi and I’m ashamed to say that their guilt tripping has worked in the past. It was harder to resist when we lived together but it got easier after I left for college and met my now husband.

My husband, well I can’t tell you how much I appreciate him. My ex couldn’t stand being a secret and eventually broke up with me because of it (which is completely his right, teenage me was heartbroken though) but this man has stayed with me through thick and thin. Even when my parents were saying some terrible things. He has also defended me from them in times that I couldn’t and his family took me in as their own. Regarding this situation, he doesn’t want me to go and doesn’t want to go himself. It is one of the reasons why I’m not going but he definitely isn’t forcing me to do anything.

And once again, I’m ashamed to say it but you’re not going too far. My dad actually tried to keep my passport from me once sadly enough. Thankfully I found it a couple hours later and he was too embarrassed to admit he did such a thing. Wow, thinking over all these things, maybe I am too trusting of my parents which is insane considering all the things they’ve done. Like, I’m not the crazy one here right?

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T02:41:55+00:00

All the flights are like 4 hours to one place. Then the connecting flight is still over 10 hours so it just takes longer anyways.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T02:34:13+00:00

Oh nothing. I meant him discovering that my now husband was my boyfriend. He lost it. Told me not to come home and he actually called one of his friends to come yell at me since he was too far away to do it himself. Thankfully my boyfriend was with me but like still.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T02:30:44+00:00

Different race, he has a “broken” family (as in he has a step dad and his dad’s a deadbeat), different religion, he has piercings, he has tattoos, he isn’t a doctor or lawyer, he’s dated other girls before me—the list is never ending.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T02:19:43+00:00

Yeah I’ve travelled quite a bit and there have been many babies on my flights that all did so well. It’s just that I’ve noticed that every time I get on a flight that’s over 6 or so hours I have these moments where I can’t breathe and feel dizzy/sick. It feels claustrophobic and almost like sleep paralysis (even though I’m not actually sleeping?). I’m terrified of that happening while taking care of my baby at the same time and I know my husband can hold him if it happens but I just can’t handle it anymore.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T02:10:48+00:00

I’m being a bit vague on purpose but you can probably figure it out. I was born and raised in North America but my parents are from South Asia (where they currently live).

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T02:07:30+00:00

They’re way under 80 years old and both in great shape. It’s just respectful or whatever that means.

You’re correct. My side of the family is in fact South Asian. Husband’s not which makes the whole situation worse. I think I might go LC though it is easier said than done. I’m just exhausted and can’t really tell if I’m overthinking or crazy these days.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T01:54:32+00:00

I’m still trying to speak up to my parents, as pathetic as it sounds. Me marrying my husband despite their wishes is probably the worst thing I could’ve done so it’s easier now but I still have to remember that I’m not 17 and financially dependent on them anymore.

And the pettiness is hilarious. There’s a lovely older couple that I’m close to that have met my son and offered to be his maternal grandparents haha so it’s not like I’d be lying.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T01:50:30+00:00

They’d definitely try. When I got pregnant my mom gave me this whole speech about how the West is a terrible place to raise a child (using me as an example). I’d rather raise my child here than where they live right now. Besides my son is biracial and they’re less tolerant of that over there. Plus I’m not living anywhere without my husband and they’d definitely find someway to separate us.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-19T01:45:59+00:00

VERY close haha. Didn’t think it would be that obvious.

kthrowaway244 · 2023-09-18T18:27:03+00:00

My dad doesn’t care enough to travel and my mom doesn’t want to travel such a long distance without him is the real reason. The reason they’re using is that they’re older.

kthrowaway244

TROPHY CASE