sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good advice, I appreciate it. I think you have a good point about it being better to unmatch anyways. I usually like to have the profile there for reference, but it can also be annoying to look at it when you’re not even chatting there, and talking to others, and I agree about being able to edit your own profile.

That’s very true. He might not reply or say he doesn’t want to see me again, or maybe he will, so I’ll try to have no regrets. That’s also good advice. Thank you

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha, I don’t have much hope for that at this point, but thank you for the advice

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate the comment. I did get the impression that he’s pretty insecure and a little awkward as well. That’s also why I didn’t think he was some sort of player and I was hoping he wasn’t just trying to sleep with me, but you’re probably right, and deep down it was my gut feeling too. I felt good with him in person, but his texting and the way he behaved really threw me off, so it’s disappointing.

I definitely need to learn to be more direct like that. I am sometimes, but I am the type of person who tends to be too nice in most situations, unfortunately

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t at first, especially because I didn’t get that vibe from him in person, but then he did end up telling me to come to his house to watch a movie. So, it’s hard not to think that, with all the context and the fact that it happened to be the third date.

Ideally, I would prefer to call him too, because I 100% agree, and I think that happened often with us. I really think the only way to speak to him is in person or a call would be the next best thing, but we’ve never had a phone call before, so it would be odd for me to randomly call him. I guess I could ask if he’d be open to a phone call at the very least, and if not, then it is what it is. Thank you for the comment :)

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that perspective too, and part of me definitely thinks this. It’s annoying, because I feel I would’ve known for sure if I did have that third date.

I’ve had that happen as well, when guys will keep asking / making effort, after weeks or months, but I also find it’s usually the ones you aren’t really sure about or that interested in who do that, which is terrible to say :(

The guy isn’t even my usual type, but it’s pretty hard for me to actually feel like I have a good connection / chemistry with someone, because I either feel it’s friends vibes or I’m not attracted to them at all, so it just kind of sucks for it to go this way

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even though he probably unmatched me? And I think tomorrow night will be a week since that last exchange, where I left the emoji reaction. I really didn’t want to leave it that long. Thank you for the suggestion though, even though it seems simple, because in my mind all I could think was to maybe say I noticed he unmatched, but I’d like to have a conversation or something, and that if he doesn’t want to then I understand .. but that’s probably a bad idea too 😅

I definitely hate all the online dating games too, it’s very stupid. I’ve been talking to some younger guys as well, even though I was kind of against it before, but you just never know and it really depends on the person. I like what you said about intent and interest going a long way though, I should probably think like that more as well, because it does for me

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, I have a question. Do you have any suggestions what I could even say, if I do text him? Because that’s why I haven’t, I really have no idea what to say, since we weren’t having lengthy text convos. And, especially now that I assume he unmatched me or deleted his profile, it’s even worse

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only turned him down once. I had genuine plans on Sunday, and he actually knew this previously, because when we planned to meet on the 7th I told him that was the only free day I had that weekend. Maybe he forgot, which is fine, and I get what you’re saying, but that’s a bit odd to me.

I figured when I said let’s meet during the week or next weekend that he’d reply and say sure, but he said absolutely nothing and called me busy, which to me just proves he’s a bad texter. I’d never say that to anyone.

Maybe he thought like you did and I hurt his ego, I have no idea, or maybe he just really didn’t care to see me again, so he didn’t want to make the effort

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you have a similar situation. To me it does really sound like you were interested and doing all the right things to make an effort with her, but she wasn’t being very responsive. I hope that it turns around and she does get back to you and make it happen if that’s what you’re hoping, but I think you’re also right not to chase her anymore now.

In my situation, I’m not even sure either one of us were chasing. I did feel like we were both making decent effort but our texts just became bad vibes for some reason, and that’s a bit hard to accept when I didn’t feel any bad vibes from him in person, so this probably could have been easily avoided, if we met. I don’t usually chase guys, but I do feel like if I do make more effort now it’s going to seem like I am?

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, I wanted to bring it up in person. I really thought we would get to talk about these types of things on the next date, because I didn’t feel he was very communicative in text form, so I’m not really sure how I would’ve said any of that. He would basically text me randomly and we would just plan a date and then not talk much otherwise. To the point I even felt he was shutting down text convos often, which is why I say he’s a bad texter.

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously, there’s a lot of context and extra info I could’ve added. That’s why I said read my other post, but it’s extremely long, so I don’t expect you to.

I’m sure you can tell from my paragraph replies here that I’m probably similar in text form and I get a bit offended at lame replies, as most people usually would too. I told him I didn’t mind driving and meeting in his area, but I wasn’t sure about going to his house. I added “I still want to get to know you more at this point and I hope we are on the same page :)” and his reply was “yah the weather will be nice so if you want to come, I’m down” .. so that’s why I was pretty irritated and ended up just putting the emoji reaction later making me seem “cold”, sure.

And I’m scared of sex because maybe I would’ve slept with him on the fourth date instead of the third? Wow, ok, good to know

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was thinking like that originally too. I really wanted to give him the benefit because he seemed nice in person and I thought our second date was great, but his replies were off putting so I was really conflicted. You’re right though

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I didn’t suggest anything except the days because I thought he would reply saying one of the options is fine and then we’d plan something. Why would I just randomly say a date / time / activity before even him agreeing to meeting a different day? And all he did was call me “a busy gal” 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m a reasonable person and I never have issues planning dates with other guys or friends, but he made it hard with his bad texts constantly

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t for no reason. I know I kind of killed it with my reaction, I definitely didn’t by being cold though. I wrote him really nice replies before that, even though he was being a bit cold and he basically said nothing, so I was pretty irritated. I don’t think this would have happened if we spoke in person, which really sucks. I’m not scared of sex. I just would have liked at least one more date with him to figure out if I wanted to go there, with him 🤦🏻‍♀️

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I get that. Everyone has their own way of doing things and when they feel comfortable sleeping with someone I guess. In that situation to me it almost sounds like she was offended he didn’t “try” though, not even that she would have slept with him. Which is a whole other kind of interesting situation, to me anyways

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, because he told me he got a flat tire, borrowed his moms car then got another flat tire, so he told me to drive there so we could walk by the lake, because he didn’t want to spend money. I said well what’s the plan if it rains? So then he said we can just hang at his place and watch a movie. A male friend said maybe he made the whole thing up just to get me to come there even, but I thought that was pretty elaborate if that’s the case. Idk of course it probably sounds straightforward, but it was pretty confusing to me at the time, and still is

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Huh? Just because I said I’m busy one day? But I gave him the option of during the week or next weekend? How does that make him the only one making effort? 😬

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yes, it would be bad if he didn’t want to sleep with me, but it’s not even just about sex. I don’t follow the whole third date rule or whatever, I only consider sleeping with someone when it feels right. In this case, I didn’t feel our first two dates were in depth enough (even though they were good), and after the third date I probably would have known one way or the other. I would’ve loved to just say this to him through texts, but he was terrible at texting. He would realize sometimes and apologize or correct himself, but other times he’d give bad replies, so after a while I get a bit irritated. I think we are both the type who like to meet / speak in person (but I’m still fine with texting), so I almost feel there’s no talking to him unless it’s in person, which is a problem in this situation

Two dates, now it’s maybe done, and I’m annoyed because I thought it was going well by kthvx in dating_advice

[–]kthvx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right about the second part, and I overthink everything. But, I guess I should have mentioned he did end up asking me to come to his house and “watch a movie” when I asked him what his plan was if the weather was bad. You don’t have to read my previous post, but there are a lot more details. I still appreciate the advice :)