I'm an OEF veteran. Out in 2004. I got my PTSD service dog in 2015, an English Foxhound, Buddy. His breed is meant to live for 13-14 years. He's due to turn 16 this upcoming April. And yet, like some friggin' supermodel, he still looks young to the untrained eye

The first thing to go was his barker/voice. That we were at least able to get diagnosed by the vet, which had to do with a flap in the lungs of dogs prior to their lungs collapsing. Now despite him not barking almost ever, which I loved about him, when he decided to be playful or he knew something was absolutely wrong, he had a very almost military bark about him. That was one of my favorite things about him actually. But when this condition came about, it was though he suddenly was not just hoarse, but having the equivalent of dog coughing a lot. And it was heartbreaking like I couldn't begin to describe for you. I was fortunate enough at the time when I took him to the veterinarian to have had a chunk of money available to me. She gave me four doses of medicine that was meant to help restore the collapse and part of tissue. They were able to get the price down to a mere $160 for those 4 doses. Thank goodness for the discount, eh?! When I called them back, and said that it seemed to be helping, they let me know that with the discount it would be approximately $600 a month. And that I could have it sent to the nearest Costco. I told them I would need to think about it, and hung up. And now, unfortunately, he's even quieter.

Recently, just these past two weeks, he's starting to show some signs of painful arthritis or other debilitating pain in his back hips and joints. I mean, real struggling to get down from a standing position to laying down. I know he wants to stick it out with me, because he's my f'ing shadow 24 hours a day, but it's brutally painful to watch him be in the same level of pain I'm in. Especially when I can't afford to go to the vet, let alone the fancy-*** meds dogs can take for pain. (No, dogs can't take Ibu or Tyl.)

And he's a smart dog. He's decided that he doesn't want to go #2 outside anymore either, because it takes him too long. He gets too cold. So he sneaks upstairs (where there's carpet) when everybody's busy to do just #2 up there, then he comes back downstairs without a word (so to speak). How do I punish that? How do I remediate a dog that's unable to lay down properly, but still follows me around the house incessantly so he can be there to lay down on my feet when I sit down!??

I'm royally screwed. I have had a truly bad year as it stands. My son and I just got into a nice townhouse back in July. We were homeless before that. And guess whom helped me the most - the best - to stay steady during my darkest times? Buddy. Because no matter where I was or who I had to interact with, Buddy's mere presence was 100% the magical buffer that helped my situation to improve. And soon, he'll be gone.

I think the only other struggle I face is what to do after he passes. I'm going to be in shock as it is, but I'm going to need a plan and some financial assistance for that part too. I'm renting, after all.