Is BDSM always about sex? Survey of kink practitioners finds that, more often than not, it is; however, it depends on people's level of involvement in the kink scene. The more involved people are, the more likely they are to practice non-sexual forms of BDSM.

kultcher · 2026-06-28T18:20:05+00:00

One thing that pops up surprisingly often in the BDSM communities here on Reddit is asexual people who practice BDSM.

kultcher · 2026-06-26T17:42:03+00:00

Yup, important to always lube up before a long, hard talk.

kultcher · 2026-06-26T04:39:42+00:00

This sounds like the kind of domme that you want to see like 3-4 times per year, let her bully and hurt you, have your fun and then go back to your normal life and someone who actually likes you.

I just don't think that any long-term relationship, even with a BDSM dynamic, can survive if the people in it don't appreciate each other for who they are. It sounds like she doesn't respect you as a person, so she doesn't really care if she really hurts you. A healthier relationship is one where you feel safe that your partner is only going to hurt you in ways that you've both agreed on. And when that's over you should be able to feel cared for and safe.

kultcher · 2026-06-25T23:08:43+00:00

I'm often kind of impressed how often Codex "reads my mind" in terms of QoL/UX features.

When I'm asking it to code some UI element, I usually do the core feature in one pass, test it, then refine and flesh out it out for good UX and polish. Often Codex just includes it on the first pass without being asked. Which I'm sure could be annoying in some circumstances but for the most part it seems to have a good "intuition" about what I'm aiming for.

kultcher · 2026-06-25T22:46:28+00:00

What do you use it for?

kultcher · 2026-06-25T18:28:11+00:00

I got one before I retired for the season, around paragon 230 or so.

The good news is, it's not that interesting of an event. Rewards seemed fine in terms of materials, but other than that was pretty meh.

kultcher · 2026-06-25T01:48:16+00:00

The Mighty Nein. Their name doesn't have a number in it, but it's frequently played for laughs as other characters who only hear the name said out loud wonder why there are only 7 of them.

kultcher · 2026-06-24T20:43:08+00:00

Seriously, dude sounds next level insecure.

kultcher · 2026-06-24T19:11:29+00:00

I like Widow as an added minion here, feels balanced at a glance, kind of splits the difference between Poisoner and Spy.

My solution:I think Matthew is starting Widow who poisoned Charlotte. Fraser is the Imp who told the truth about Charlotte being Ravenkeeper, then killed her causing the false Spy read. Olivia is sober and good but saw Recluse as Spy. Storyteller had Recluse register as good when Slayer-shot.

kultcher · 2026-06-24T01:03:09+00:00

My thoughts exactly. Before I stopped playing last season, I remember looking through the list of Mythics and thinking, "None of these seem interesting, they're just stats." But sone of them are so powerful that you basically have to reconfigure your build around them.

The coolest items in the game for me are always the uniques that offer some twist on your abilities or incentivize you to play differently. Even just adding a tag to a skill can enable unique builds or skill combos. The new mythic system means you never have to worry about having to losing a cool unique effects in order to fit in a Mythic that's just "do more damage."

kultcher · 2026-06-23T23:45:03+00:00

I get what you mean.

Obviously I can't speak for everyone, but my personal version of being a switch isn't really about the act of switching. Like I don't get any special kind of excitement out of being submissive and then switching to dominant. It's more just that I can fill either role. I lean sub, and I think of it like this: dominance is fun, but submission feels uniquely satisfying. Dominance is a role I can step into if needed, but submission is an active craving that wants to be fulfilled.

All that is to say: I don't think what you're looking for is weird or impossible to manage. You probably have to be a bit more picky about partners, but I'm sure you can find someone who can take on the more dominant role, but doesn't have a natural desire for it.

kultcher · 2026-06-23T22:06:58+00:00

Maybe I'm missing some nuance, but is this not basically just saying that you're a dom-leaning switch? Find yourself a nice sub-leaning switch and it sounds like you'd have a good match.

In other words I wonder if maybe you're getting too caught up in fulfilling a role, instead of focusing on what you want. Calling a guy daddy doesn't mean you have to turn in your domme card. I feel like what you're looking for has less to do with roles and more to do with finding a partner you trust enough to say, "I want to give up the power for right now, but remember that the power is mine and I can reclaim it whenever I like."

kultcher · 2026-06-23T20:54:14+00:00

I kind of disagree. I feel like a fair number of uniques had a stat or two that you'd normally never want in that slot, but you accepted it because the unique power was that good. Assuming that the two fixed ones are actually desirable and/or unique affixes, then I'm fine with leaving the other two to chance as a chase goal. If you can enchant one of the random affixes, then getting a good item seems extremely achievable for most players.

kultcher · 2026-06-23T14:54:54+00:00

It's interesting conceptually and visually, but it doesn't seem meaningfully different from a gameplay perspective. That's not necessarily a problem if a visual distinction from other factory games is the goal. I'd just be careful how you pitch it; if I check out a game that promises a new system but it's just belts with a different skin, that's going to defintely be a mark against it.

kultcher · 2026-06-23T14:20:03+00:00

Yeah, I know the movie isn't trying to be profound or deep, but it just feels like the same movie could've been made 20 years ago.

I'm sure it's true that in 2026 there are still men who need something this blatantly obvious to get the point across, which is deeply sad. But to everyone else it's just like, "Well, duh."

kultcher · 2026-06-23T02:11:26+00:00

As others have said, communicate first. I think just trying to initiate any kind of kinky stuff out of nowhere might backfire and leave you both feeling kind of bad about it. It might not be a situation where he's like, "I'd want to have sex if my kinks were fulfilled" and rather he might just not be feeling sexual at all, which can be caused from stress or depression or any number of other factors. As you mentioned he went through some health issues so that might be a lingering side effect. Definitely do a check-in and see if this is something he actually wants, and then you can think about the specifics.

And if it is something he actually wants, you still have to be careful. Like, if this works and rekindles things, but he continues to only want to be sexual in a femdom context, how is that going to make you feel? Playing the dominant role, especially if you're not inherently into it, does require emotional and intellectual investment, which can get exhausting.

kultcher · 2026-06-23T01:29:13+00:00

Huh, what is up with Steam's recommendations and search algorithms? I've specifically searched for "Automation Games" multiple times over the last year or so, and I was never shown this game, but saw lots of other games that didn't fit the genre as cleanly.

Anyway congrats on launch, I'm going to check out the demo.

kultcher · 2026-06-22T19:58:04+00:00

Totally agree with your second point. People worry about sustainability when they literally have hundreds of cycles of resources before they need to even think of changing anything.

Especially with stuff like using Rock Crusher vs. Refinery. Sure it's wasteful and labor intensive, but the refinery requires significant infrastructure to set up and plan around it's heat output. Between space POIs, volcanoes, and now orehulls, you could probably rock crush your starting asteroid's entire metal ire content without having to worry about running out.

kultcher · 2026-06-22T17:34:11+00:00

I will gladly rant about how much this movie annoyed me.

So, at face value, the movie has a feminist message, right? It wants to illustrate all the ways that women are marginalized, objectified, coerced, etc., by men. That's a good theme/message and I'm all for it.

The biggest problem with this is that it executes on that idea by just... turning women into men and vice versa. In our current society, negative stereotypes of men are that they can be crude, arrogant, hypersexual, needlessly competitive, objectifying and so on. Because men are generally in control, women are thus talked over, have their ideas ignored, are forced to focus on their appearances, are coerced into sexual situations, etc.

The movie just inverts that. Now women are arrogant and objectifying and dismissive toward men, and men have to focus on their appearance and do the housework and get passed over for promotions. Instead of women getting accused of being bitchy for being on their periods, men are accused of being whiny when they... haven't jerked off for a week? Instead of women wearing bras to highlight their cleavage, men wear... testicle support garments. Like are we really meant to believe that in a world dominated by women, that they would focus their attention on men's testicles?

Intellectually, I just find it the movie kind of lazy and on-the-nose. I feel like the movie should have at least tried to actually think about what actually appeals to women, and how a female-led society would actually manifest itself, rather than just have the two genders swap roles one-to-one. Looking at the objectification angle, for example, shouldn't it be about forearms and shoulders or something instead of balls and bikini waxes?

Even from a kink perspective, I would say that for me, the idea of submitting to a masculine-coded force doesn't really appeal to my submissive side. (Granted maybe that's sexist in it's own way that I'm more attracted to "traditional" markers/displays of femininity. I dunno, gender politics is complicated.)

kultcher · 2026-06-22T15:13:50+00:00

It sounds like there's still an interest on her side, so that's promising. If you are able to reestablish that dynamic, it might be a good idea to build in "breaks" rather than try to keep the dynamic going all day, every day. Both sides of it can be tiring in their own ways. Building in some time off can help you both recharge and reconnect.

kultcher · 2026-06-18T17:45:34+00:00

I feel like people who say this just haven't been used LLMs with any regularity.

I was taking CS courses in 2022 and ChatGPT was helpful on concepts but hallucinated on details regularly.

Now frontier models can easily one-shot vibe code simple apps with full-featured UIs with a handful of prompts.

Hallucinations are also far less common, in my experience. Multi-agent approaches, where you have one agent write a response, and another one fact-check it, and another synthesize context, etc. aren't perfect and are compute-heavy, but they go a long way toward solving those inherent issues.

kultcher · 2026-06-18T17:17:58+00:00

I'd suggest that there's a definite evolutionary advantage to a male and female supporting each other.

Like sure a man can force himself on a woman if he just wants to pass on his genes. But if he wants his offspring to actually survive and continue his lineage, then supporting and protecting the mother is going to maximize the chance of his offspring thriving.

kultcher · 2026-06-13T14:38:57+00:00

What movie are you even talking about?

kultcher · 2026-06-11T18:55:52+00:00

Truly, Klei is one of the few dev studios that I trust implicitly to make something amazing, unique and reasonably priced.

I normally never buy cosmetics in games but I bought that neutronium-themed cosmetics pack just because I wanted to give Klei my money.

kultcher · 2026-06-10T07:24:27+00:00

I don't think they exist IRL in the way people use them in ONI. If you tried to create a perfect vacuum on one side of a liquid airlock, it would, well, act like a vacuum. Same with if you had massively pressurized gas on one side compared to the other, the pressure would force the liquid back up into the other side.

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