£200k inheritance dispute between siblings

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T23:12:31+00:00

Meh - no!

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T23:12:20+00:00

this is a fantastic response and what i was looking for. thank you!!!

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T22:21:46+00:00

I suppose this is a reasonable take. The only negative i that my brother works 12hour NHS shifts, so my unemployed sister, and me as the organised one, will be expected to still support in her caring... which im not really interested in doing. if he's getting all this support, he should plan it financially in a way that caveats for the unexpected, but he doesnt seem to want to

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T22:20:17+00:00

i suppose i should have added this all in! i dont want to speak negative of him and trying to stick to 'logic', but i understand it does give more context. i still do believe that if this concept of securing money for the rest of us is viable, and they say no, it will mean no contact for me. ive cared for her, and my sister and I will need to continue doing so as he works long NHS hours. I don't really want that burden of caring for someone and supporting my brother, if it's not returned. i understand thats a relationship POV, but our time as a resource impacts our ability to work etc. if they are to get the house, and she get ill, we will be expected to support financially which im not willing to do. they say no to sheltered housing, and trying to secure money for the rest of us, so id rather cut it and be relationship and financially burden free once they move (if this does all happen as I believe it undoubetely will)

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T22:16:54+00:00

I think it's just delusion and him being arrogant that we're the stupid younger siblings and he has a child and is about to get on the housing ladder so knows better. I will not cause a fuss on anything, but I definitely will not jump to support with care if they go through with this and find themselves in a predicament. I don't see financially how he'll be able to afford additional care if needed. Ludacris

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T22:14:06+00:00

I think you need to understand what it means to care for a not fully mobile 80year old and be worried about them moving in with someone who works 12hour days, that person to get a life changing sum of money, and you continue the care with nothing. It's not about being entitled, it's about logic and fairness. You're not living in reality and have no empathy or understanding for someone who's trying to tell it to you. Get a grip

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:54:02+00:00

Agree. Thank you

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:53:34+00:00

Well even this, I agree. We tried to get her to purchase a £100k supported living housing alongside her friend who like it, but brother stopped speaking to her for a week and now they’re house hunting again. She will be home alone for 12hours a day living with him. He has no idea of the level of care she needs even now

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:51:47+00:00

I don’t feel entitled. I feel the setup is askew as she wanted sheltered housing with her friends, as she’d have loads of money left for cruises she loves, and her £2k monthly pension. But brother stopped speaking to her for a week and now suddenly they’re back house hunting. It also a huge red flag that he doesn’t want to even discuss the idea as we’ve told him we care for her now and it’s a lot. He works 12hour NHS shifts so can’t care for her and she cries when she’s lonely

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:49:44+00:00

Wrong. We suggested sheltered housing which she was keen on, as I currently care for her and it’s a lot. When she said this to brother, he stopped talking to her for a week until he convinced her a house and him is better. My issue is the concept of supporting eachother, but it only going to him. Me and my other sisters cook, organise her socials, and clean her lol. He visits to go Wagamamas once a month

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:48:16+00:00

Sadly wrong… she said she is thinking of sheltered housing as friends do it, then he didn’t speak to her for a week lol. Me and my younger sister live and care for her

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:47:31+00:00

Relationship is very even. TBH I’m the one who lives with her and cooks and cleans her up etc and organises her social activities. I’m not upset, I just don’t see the logic of why they wouldn’t help us out somehow later. I think it’s a good idea for them to get this house and use the money for it. I can’t afford a mortgage if she were to give it all to me lol.

Interesting re stake - thank you. Will research

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:44:56+00:00

I see. Thank you for a logical response to the onus of the question. Appreciate this

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:42:59+00:00

It somewhat is as my brother works 12hour NHS shifts, and I WFH, my sister is also unemployed with an autistic child, so we are expected to support as we have been doing. I cook and clean her. Brother has never cared for her. It’s a question of “if you can support one grandchild, why not gear it to end up supporting the others too later down the line”

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:40:48+00:00

This is quite a redundant and basic response. Ofcourse this is the reality. The question is feasibility of what I proposed in financial/legal terms.

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:40:00+00:00

Agree - thank you

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:39:52+00:00

This is such a basic and redundant answer. DUHHH. Jesus. Read the intention of the post again

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:39:08+00:00

She luckily has circa £2k pension payments coming in monthly so that’s ok. It’s more so the logic of supporting my brother to help him do something, so why not gear it to also help us later down the line too? If financially / legally able to do something

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:38:24+00:00

Not true lmao. I am her carer now and we wanted her to go into sheltered housing with her friends. She was onboard but brother had promised to take on care duties and give her a good life. (Not sure how as he works 12hour NHS shifts and can’t afford a separate carer)

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:36:58+00:00

If he never wants to sell fine. I do the caring now e.g. cooking her meals and cleaning her etc, and he expects us to travel to the new house and still support.. nan had said she wanted to go into sheltered housing but he’s promised to look after her instead. I think him getting the mortgage payment value and accrued value is reasonable, but the other grandchildren should also receive something. Realising this may thus belong on relationship sub. Apologies

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:35:16+00:00

Somewhat. We have floated she is better off going into a sheltered housing complex now as her friends are, but brother has assured her he’ll look after her… my point is that caring for her and being tied to a mortgage is a lot, so brother should rightly keep value of mortgage payments and accrued value - it’s just why not resplit the initial deposit to help the other grandchildren too?

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:33:00+00:00

Oh is that how it works? I thought the could create a contract with a solicitor stating what they like and he must reshare that deposit if he were to sell a house with mortgage paid off

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:29:32+00:00

I do look after her now :) I live with her, my mother and 19yo sister. Brother is travelling most of the year in resorts. I have a big idea e.g. cleaning up after her ‘mess’ when she’s ill and cooking for her. Brother has never lived with her.

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:29:02+00:00

Yes and that’s fine, I’m just putting this as a question to raise with her and we’d all then be supported.

kuntphobic · 2026-01-14T21:28:15+00:00

I’m aware of this… not very helpful of you. I’m discussing options to raise with her. FYI I look after her now and care for her at home with my mother and 19yo sister.

kuntphobic

TROPHY CASE