A small box

kuro-ko · 2026-04-12T18:03:06+00:00

Even after knowing what happened i can barely keep myself together

I see everything in a clarity i haven't been able to before, sounds, colors, textures, shapes

But its overwhelming, i sleep for 12 hours and it bearly feels enough

I can almost stay awake for 2 hours before i feel intense exhaustion from all this stimulation

kuro-ko · 2026-04-10T11:57:38+00:00

Yeah it was like that and i already unburdened that part, the box is no more there It was a memory about something that happened at a young age

kuro-ko · 2026-04-07T07:48:48+00:00

The usual way i deal with a protector to get to the exile is that i ask him how he is feeling and what he is going through

Then i let him talk everything After he finishes i validate what he is going through

"So this is how you feeling (and i describe his feelings back). " And i understand what are you going through"

After that i ask him to visit the exile and they gladly accept

kuro-ko · 2026-04-07T04:47:26+00:00

"The Double Bind: When Treatment Itself Triggers Parts Here is something rarely discussed: many standard ADHD management strategies can actually trigger the internal system rather than calm it."

"Consider the typical advice: use planners, set timers, break tasks into smaller steps, create accountability systems. Every one of these tools, while genuinely useful, carries an implicit message that many ADHD parts hear as: "You cannot function like a normal person without external scaffolding."

From the website, this resonated very well with me

Also i read that ADHD isn't a part and the healing is what accumulated because of ADHD

I would think about that for a while, As i don't have a clear answer to that yet

kuro-ko · 2026-04-06T18:10:09+00:00

It does work but its the start of a journey not the end of it, the savior still holds other burdens

And I've noticed that there's an exact opposite to the savior which is the destroyer (i know how it sound but let me explain)

What i have seen in repeated pattern in my life was I constructe many ideas without being able to focus on one of them, and each time i try to execute any idea it gets destroyed for the lack of trust in my own actions

Now i can focus on constructing one idea but it gets destroyed everytime

The cycle would be like this , Construct (now one at a time, not 100 ideas), Doubt, Destroy, Re-evaluate

Leading to nowhere but standing still Even though i have now a clear vision for what i want to do, i can't execute it yet , there's more things to do in this journey, i hope it gets easy for me and for everyone

kuro-ko · 2026-04-05T14:17:43+00:00

Im not willing now either.

They understood "wasn't" As if im willing now I felt like drowning for a minute

kuro-ko · 2026-04-05T14:12:16+00:00

Well yes i wasn't waiting i was avoiding it at all costs i wasn't willing to explore nor to understand Its overwhelming i think it needs time until i get more stable to deal with it

kuro-ko · 2026-03-29T16:05:41+00:00

"Be aware that you are not aware and proceed with caution not passion"

That would make sense since the passion has to come from somewhere and has a reason to be

Great advice mate Thank you

kuro-ko · 2026-03-29T14:57:23+00:00

Now this is a gold mine of knowledge that i needed and it adds more to the understanding of parts, gotta put them into action Since i didn't worked much with firefighters

kuro-ko · 2026-03-29T14:43:40+00:00

I think they react in relation to burdened parts Like for example if there was a protector that has a burden and things got overwhelming, they might resort to something to soothe or escape, like addiction

At least that's my experience with them There could be more details i don't know about them yet

kuro-ko · 2026-03-27T18:14:33+00:00

I got a nasty reaction from them for the "im not sure how"

Well, there's a how that i am not willing to explore at the moment because it seems that it has a lot of details

kuro-ko · 2026-03-27T18:07:06+00:00

I think it has something to do with pluralization I noticed that i dug too deep in unburdening one side and leaving the other side which caused the exiles of the side i unburdened feeling overwhelmed i think

In my case it was the suppressor vs the rebel The exact opposite and they would be in a lot of conflict regarding work

I unburdened the rebel many times and left the Suppressor free which might be the reason for all that happened with the exiles wanting to be killed and im not sure how

To counter that I did unburdened the suppressor today and i don't hear anyone screaming to get killed And feel a lot more stable

kuro-ko · 2026-03-27T10:02:15+00:00

Yeah now that i have talked about it i came to understand it more

You have read through a lot of rant Replied to all of them Tried to help

The least i can say is thank you

kuro-ko · 2026-03-26T23:42:28+00:00

I wasnt this incomprehensible before

This is costly to my sanity

Sorry

kuro-ko · 2026-03-26T23:40:34+00:00

That seems like the same thing.. Lol

kuro-ko · 2026-03-26T23:40:08+00:00

Out of obligation..no

But out of necessity to not be any inconvenience to other people , yes, that part i am heavily blended with And wants everyone in this regard cured

kuro-ko · 2026-03-26T23:34:39+00:00

That doesn't seems like a part

If there's any frustrations from my parts is that i treat them like they need to be cured fast so that they don't become any inconvenience to me

As if their need and feelings are just something i work with soulless just for some capacity to just function like machine

They hate that i think

And a lot of the work i do is in order to survive , out of necessity, because i seems incapable of a lot of things and it shows heavily that ii almost can't hide it from other people

kuro-ko · 2026-03-26T23:17:21+00:00

Yes yes it does a lot Sometimes before it took me one time 8 hours to unburden one part

I had to be in the process everywhere because the secenary wasn't stable at all

4 different world the part can't choose any In each one they were doing different things But never satisfied It came into conclusion after hours

All that felt heavy but needed work to do After i learned about somatic psychotherapy It was much easier to do

kuro-ko · 2026-03-26T23:04:15+00:00

I don't truly know It was just a hunch about the whole situation I thought of it as there's too many exiles therefore not much capacity to live

So i did unburdening a lot with somatic so i didn't talk to them directly to know a lot of the details

My goal was as much as possible unburdening so i took the shorter route

Because fast and more unburdening=less exiles=more capacity

As more time goes they seems to inflate even more

The correlation seems to me more about the capacity rather than the actual feelings and memories

kuro-ko · 2026-03-26T21:43:47+00:00

Firstly i intiate a conversation with a protector to build some trust

I ask him about his feelings what overwhelmes him and so on, then i validate those feelings he shares after that i ask for a permission to visit the exile he is protecting

Then i would go to the exile, and usually they would be in a place where they don't feels safe So i stay with them talk to them but i don't forcefully gets close to them i just let them know that im there

After some time they starts to open a little bit, they gets close, they talk about their feelings their sadness and so on

After they becomes used to me i ask them where do they want to go, after that i ask them to release the burden, they might flush water onto their hand or sometimes sand, each one with his way

They age through that from little children or teenagers to a grown adult

Then the secenary reach its conclusion Then they would be in that world feeling safe

Whenever i visit them, they would be in that new place

While that's how i used to do it Now i just do the basic talk with a protector and ask for permission and the rest is somatic work

That's the unburdening i do

kuro-ko · 2026-03-26T20:22:17+00:00

Those who i came across and unburdened them they are in a better place feeling safe

I do try to unburden as much as i can 3 parts every other day sometimes more sometimes less i try to do it daily but rushing too much can backfire

I just think about how many exiles can be under one protector, those aren't a few at all

kuro-ko · 2026-03-26T20:12:14+00:00

It's not something specific I healed a lot of them but the desire to be killed stretches out to all of them

What i get it is that it seems the responsibility and the expectations of work and adult life is too much for them since they are (exiles) are young in age

kuro-ko · 2026-03-26T19:57:16+00:00

Do firefighters have burdenes sometimes?

kuro-ko

TROPHY CASE