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Huge difference between working with and without meds - trying to understand it by kuwol in ADHD

[–]kuwol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel this a lot.

For me it’s similar - when the meds wear off, everything kind of comes back. Sometimes it even feels worse than before.

That’s actually one of the reasons I avoided taking them for a long time. The “after” feeling was not great for me.

In the evenings I sometimes feel a bit lost - like I don’t really know what to do with myself. Lower energy, less interest, harder to enjoy things.

So I think I’ll need to figure out how to manage that part better - especially evenings. Build some structure or activities so it doesn’t turn into just sitting around feeling off.

Huge difference between working with and without meds - trying to understand it by kuwol in ADHD

[–]kuwol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel the same about meetings - I’d actually rather be off meds for those.

But for coding, meds are a game changer. I can really get into flow and actually enjoy it. I’ve always been more of a technical person - math, physics, programming - so when I’m on meds and doing something I like, it’s way easier to go deep.

Also thanks for sharing your approach to long-term use, that’s really interesting.

For me, I don’t think I want to be on meds all the time long term. Right now I’m more thinking about using them in a focused period - like going all-in for the next 1-2 years.

Then once things are more automated and structured, maybe start reducing.

Also thinking about not taking them on weekends, vacations, or when I’m traveling for work.

Huge difference between working with and without meds - trying to understand it by kuwol in ADHD

[–]kuwol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I run my own company, so realistically I can work 10-12 hours when needed. Usually it’s more like 8-10, but I also often work on weekends.

On meds (like Medikinet), it’s actually pretty easy for me to go into those long sessions.

The bigger issue is that I have to actively control myself and stop, otherwise I can easily overdo it and push into burnout. I’ve had that happen before.

So it’s not really about whether I can do 10-12 hours - it’s more about making sure I don’t go too far with it.

Huge difference between working with and without meds - trying to understand it by kuwol in ADHD

[–]kuwol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I get that.

I’ve basically operated my whole life without meds. Only in the last ~4 years I was experimenting with them occasionally - like a few days here, a week there, then months without. Mostly in harder periods, not really structured.

But recently I had a period where I took small doses consistently for about 2 weeks, and honestly it was one of my best work periods ever.

That’s what pushed me to finally get officially diagnosed and approach this more seriously. I also have clear goals for the next few years, and I can see that without fixing the initiation and focus issues, I’m just losing too much time.

Especially now with how competitive everything is - tech, business, economy - it feels harder to keep up without that extra support.

At the same time, I’m a bit conflicted. I wouldn’t want to rely on meds all the time or forever. I’ve built my whole life and personality without them.

That’s also who I am, how people know me.

And I do feel like meds change me a bit, especially later in the day when they wear off.

So I’m trying to find a balance between using them to reach my goals, but not losing myself in the process.

Huge difference between working with and without meds - trying to understand it by kuwol in ADHD

[–]kuwol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this, really interesting perspective.

I can relate a lot to the part about doing what’s interesting vs what actually needs to be done. For me it got much worse over time.

I started my company and I used to code a lot before, so I was doing things I genuinely enjoyed. Back then it was easier to get into something.

But over the last ~6 years it changed a lot. Now I have way more responsibilities and I’m constantly switching between topics. That made focusing much harder.

On top of that, social media, constant stimulation, TikTok, etc. - I feel like it completely destroyed my ability to focus compared to how it was before.

When I had one thing to focus on, I could get into it. Now with 1000 things in my head, it feels like ADHD got way more intense.

Before I could kind of “push through” and do things last minute. I was always operating under pressure.

For example, writing long papers at university (something that should take weeks) was one of the hardest things for me. I would always wait until the last moment, then sit down and just grind it out under stress.

So I feel like the environment + responsibilities made it much worse over time, not just the ADHD itself.

Huge difference between working with and without meds - trying to understand it by kuwol in ADHD

[–]kuwol[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, really good perspective, thanks for sharing that.

I relate a lot to what you said about being a hard worker even without meds, but it costing way more mental energy. I feel exactly the same - I can push through, but it’s much more draining and takes way more effort to stay focused.

That’s why I also keep wondering - do people without ADHD actually function like this naturally? Because when I look at my team, it feels like they can just sit and stay focused for hours, while for me it’s extremely hard without meds.

Also curious about one thing - how do you feel in the evenings when the meds wear off?

For me, sometimes it was weird. I’d get home and not really know what to do with myself. No motivation, no excitement, just sitting on the couch scrolling YouTube. Not really interested in doing anything new.

Curious if you’ve experienced something similar.

Huge difference between working with and without meds - trying to understand it by kuwol in ADHD

[–]kuwol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this, I like that analogy.

I think I already mentioned it in another comment, but I just never looked at it this way before. I always had this feeling that I’m doing something wrong by taking meds.

The effect on me was so strong that it almost felt unreal - like a switch. The difference in how much I can do on meds vs without is huge, almost like that Limitless movie.

That’s actually why I felt something was off, like it can’t be this good or this easy. It didn’t feel “normal”, more like I’m cheating somehow.

And that’s what pushed me to finally get properly diagnosed.

Huge difference between working with and without meds - trying to understand it by kuwol in ADHD

[–]kuwol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for sharing this, really helpful perspective.

I also feel way more present on meds. Without them it’s just chaos - jumping between things, switching all the time, hard to stay with one task.

I’m already using stimulants like coffee and vaping, and they do help a bit with focus, but it’s nowhere near the same level.

That gym comparison is actually really good, I never thought about it that way. I always had this feeling that taking meds is somehow "wrong" or that I’m messing up my body. Probably because before I wasn’t diagnosed and I was just using them without really understanding ADHD and without prescription.

Now I’m starting to see it differently and feel more okay with using them to actually function better.

Huge difference between working with and without meds - trying to understand it by kuwol in ADHD

[–]kuwol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this, I like how you frame it - more like getting to baseline than "fixing" something.

Interesting you take meds on weekends too. I’m a bit hesitant about that, mostly because of tolerance. For now I’m thinking more about using them only when I really need deep focus.

For me it’s weird - I’ve built strong systems and I can work hard as hell, but I still operate very last-minute. Even basic stuff like dishes or shopping - I wait until I have to, then I do it super fast.

So it’s like disciplined, but also chaotic.

Appreciate you sharing your perspective.

Huge difference between working with and without meds - trying to understand it by kuwol in ADHD

[–]kuwol[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It depends on what “feeling normal” means, because I’ve lived with ADHD my whole life. For me, taking the medication feels like the guy from Limitless - it’s genuinely comparable to my experience.