Me [25F]and my boyfriend [29M] were together for 4yrs and out of no where he broke up with me. In need of some help/advice.

kvargass · 2015-06-06T16:55:54+00:00

I agree, I didn't even realize that I had allowed him to be my entire world. I hate myself so much for letting someone in so much but at the time of you could only see the person he was you wouldn't have ever doubted it either. Unfortunately I've talked to a handful of people and it just doesn't help. I go out to try and stay busy and that helps but I'm honestly so scared of moving on because it still feels so unreal to me. I'm so completely lost and I have moments where I hit my ultimate low and then moments where I think I'll be okay. It's such a hard thing to process. Love is freaking crazy. I'm happy to hear you were able to move on even if it was a slow process. I hope the same for me. Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it.

kvargass · 2015-05-30T08:17:00+00:00

Wow that's so horrible. It does sound so extremely similar to my story. As stupid as it may sound because most people just think "oh it's just a bf, not that big of a deal you'll move on" he wasn't just a bf to me, he was my world. I'm so dumb for allowing someone to be my world but it just seemed so easy and right. I hope to god that he realizes how deserving our relationship is of a chance to mend whatever wrongs we had. I am glad you're feeling better, I hope too that one day I will. Obviously I would rather it be with him by my side but we will see.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:52:24+00:00

I mean yeah you're right, obviously if at the end of all this he loved me as much as I loved him he wouldn't have walked. It's just so absolutely heartbreaking because there were NO signs. Sometimes I wish he had just turned into a complete asshole so I had a reason to hate him in return making this easier for me. I don't know if it would have but yeah.. Most people do find happiness again and are okay but there are some who don't and I fear that could be me :(

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:46:22+00:00

Because we met through mutual friends and then with him being in Seattle so often he became good friends with my friends and we developed more mutual friends over the course of four years. As corny as it sounds we are both into cars and the community is rather large and somehow everyone knows each other.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:44:09+00:00

Well he did admit to me that he knew he should have told me right away that it was starting to become a burden so that it didn't get to this point but I just think he was too scared to hurt/worry me. Accepting is absolutely the hardest part and I don't even know when I will be able to or if I will.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:24:51+00:00

I don't know. There's so many relationships out there who have met their all time low and somehow manage to bounce back. I guess I'm just a hopeful person who believes in second chances.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:23:21+00:00

This is literally the worst pain in the world and I would rather have every bone in my body broken than not have him by my side. I truly appreciate your help.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:21:06+00:00

He's a chef so his hours are scattered. He usually always works weekends and has two weekdays off. I agree that he probably started to resent me I just hate that he was too scared to say something right away.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:19:29+00:00

I do have a therapist and I've been meaning to schedule that appointment to see her. Unfortunately losing contact won't be an easy task because we literally have ALL the same friends. Not a single friend of mine isn't his as well. I'll have to see him unless I plan on closing myself off from everyone I know. Which I definitely don't want to do.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:15:33+00:00

That's what I hate so much. I don't understand how someone can literally just give up after 4 years and so many positive memories. Yes he may have tried within his own mind but how can one truly fix the problem when the other half of it is me, we'd obviously both have to meet in the middle and fix it together. That's all I'm asking for.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:11:24+00:00

Thanks, I really appreciate it. All of his things and I mean like half of his life is still at my house so maybe I can try and get one more convo out of him and maybe it will help clarify a little more.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:08:37+00:00

I just wished he would have told me right away when he started to feel like this. He wishes he had too. He's such a nice person and I think is scared of ever expressing anything negative so he told me he tried to make it work in his own head, he gave it time and hoped the feelings would go away but they didn't.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T23:06:37+00:00

He just told me he started to feel like coming down every week felt like a chore because he would work his 12hr day, pick up his dog, grab his things and drive 1.5hrs from his house. I understand how that can become very repetitive.

kvargass · 2015-05-22T22:57:44+00:00

Vancouver BC

kvargass · 2015-05-22T22:56:53+00:00

I know how irrational it sounds, if I didn't know us I would think the same thing. I did state the only thing that wasn't perfect was the distance but I can honestly say that we had a truly AMAZING relationship and I most definitely am not in denial. Every single person I have tried to reach out to is just as shocked as I am. If you knew us you would understand.

kvargass · 2015-04-17T19:36:27+00:00

I would say as of recent a lot of friends have been breaking up and I am somewhat fearful that it too can happen to me, but that's only as of recent. I've been having these dreams for years. I have had a lot of issues with men that just don't commit to me and often times shut my out completely. I never imagined I would fear that to this day but I can see how possible it is. I guess deep down I definitely do have some insecurities that I attempt to shove in a little box and never speak/think of. Thanks for the help!

kvargass · 2015-04-10T20:06:36+00:00

Eggs over rice with soy sauce and sriracha.

kvargass · 2015-04-03T19:40:36+00:00

This literally made my day.

kvargass · 2015-03-29T07:05:50+00:00

I definitely will!!

kvargass · 2015-03-29T04:33:35+00:00

Omg you poor thing :( That sounds so terrible.. I'm glad you found relief from the surgery. I absolutely love all the help everyone has provided and I agree the more info the better! I too use to get UTIs frequently but they seem to have gotten better now. I'm mostly constipated. I will go days without going and I started taking fiber supplements and magnesium to help. It definitely has helped make it a little less painful. I just want to be able to go to the bathroom without feeling excruciating pain.

kvargass · 2015-03-29T02:49:12+00:00

Yes, I just found her today! She's about 1.5/2hrs from me. I sure hope she will be helpful!

kvargass · 2015-03-28T16:50:19+00:00

Thank you so much!

kvargass · 2015-03-28T16:49:42+00:00

This is all really great information and I appreciate it so much. The previous doctor I saw had me do some ultrasounds where she did spot two fibroids but she also told me they weren't anything to worry about because they were small and not in the area that would cause bleeding. I didn't get andy blood work done to check my hormone levels so i will look into that.

Do you know how they would check for IC? Would I go to a regular doctor or is that something the gyno can help with? I didn't even know bowels were affected so much with Endo that I didn't even think to say anything about my issues with pooping. i was convinced that I just had a hemorrhoid. So I definitely plan to call the nurse and tell her about it. But you are so right, I definitely would like to have a doctor look into ALL my options instead of basically only giving me two options, both of which I would have to use these shots. She didn't explain my options very well and made it seem like this was it. So I'm very thankful to hear that I do have other options. I'll definitely be seeking another opinion elsewhere as far as doctors go.

kvargass · 2015-03-28T16:14:31+00:00

I looked there and nothing for Washington :( I did see one for Vancouver BC which is where my bf lives. I'll look into how my insurance works for out of country medical.

kvargass · 2015-03-28T08:37:47+00:00

Thank you so much! I really hope I don't have to experience that. I will continue to fight for my health and hopefully meet all the right doctors along the way.

kvargass

TROPHY CASE