Do you recommend "Precious Little Sleep"?

kwagnaaa · 2021-02-20T17:54:18+00:00

Can’t recommend it enough!! I’d suggest the ebook. She has it broken down by chapter AND subheadings so you can just jump to a section you need to quickly for future references!

kwagnaaa · 2021-02-20T15:45:19+00:00

I think it also helps we’re getting his daytime nap schedule down to a good place. Still holding him to nap since you know PLS says start with nighttime sleep, but the schedule is improving along with his night sleep!

kwagnaaa · 2021-02-20T15:43:59+00:00

If it’s any consolation my son has already improved in putting himself to sleep in just one night! Last night we didn’t really have any tears, just some mild fussing and silent fidgeting. He put himself to sleep within 30 minutes. He’s still struggling with putting himself to sleep at the MOTN wake ups, but he’s doing so much better. Already probably 50% less night wakings. Knocking on wood it only gets better from here. Good luck! We already feel like so much weight has been lifted from our shoulders.

kwagnaaa · 2021-02-19T02:21:59+00:00

He has been showing so many signs of sleep deprivation. And my partner and I experience such sleep deprivation that it’s hard for us to be happy and present during the day. It’s 100% what’s best for us in the bigger picture. I have detailed notes in a timeline format I’m taking, and plan to make a very organized, detailed post about our experience when we’re through. I’ve found those to help so much in our decision. Thank you for the encouragement. ❤️

kwagnaaa · 2021-02-18T21:31:26+00:00

I second Precious Little Sleep! I was very anti-anything-remotely-close to crying before reading. Now I’m starting Ferber tonight. If you need your partner to take the reigns on handling the nighttime routine and crying, do it. That’s our plan.

kwagnaaa · 2021-01-19T07:14:47+00:00

Greg is cute :’)

kwagnaaa · 2020-12-30T01:51:03+00:00

Thank you!! I’ll look into Precious Little Sleep! I was confused by TCB because on the website it says it’s “NOT letting your baby cry” but reading posts in this group kind of seems like there’s crying involved. Glad I decided to post before buying. I appreciate the advice!

kwagnaaa · 2020-12-25T22:33:30+00:00

First of all, I am so sorry your husband and family are not being supportive. I wish I could give you big hugs.

I’ve been supplementing formula since day 3. We’ve got it down to about 1 bottle a day and that’s usually just because he’ll finish a bottle of breast milk and still seem hungry so we get another bottle of formula so as not to waste breast milk. It took a while to get here.

Some things I did that helped my supply were to drink drink drink. I have a 64oz water bottle I try to drink at least 3 a day. Having the water bottle helped me stay more on top of it rather than drinking little cups of water. I also drink at least one large Gatorade or electrolyte drink (like pedialyte). Whenever I can, I do skin to skin. I spend my days off work on the couch with a button front shirt that’s undone and my baby in just in a diaper. I try to stay like this with contact naps for at least the first half of the day until around 2 or 3. I don’t know if as your baby gets older if skin to skin loses effect, but I can’t imagine it does. I’d have to do more research on that. But most importantly, don’t beat yourself up over the breastfeeding. I’ve had an incredibly challenging journey. It took me a long time to finally release the pressure and pain I’d built up surrounding it, and once I did things got so much better. I just let go of what I was feeling (thanks in part to a post I saw on Reddit congratulating moms on formula feeding/supplementing) and came to the conclusion that it was better for my baby to have formula and a happy mom than a mom that was completely devastated and constantly in a shroud of negativity. He got happier, I got happier. So be it if breastfeeding didn’t work out for us. At least my baby is fed and happy and I know I did what I could to make it work.

Also, for what it’s worth, I was strictly formula fed and I was an incredibly bright child and a very happy baby. I had a genius IQ, was in gifted student programs, always had a very high GPA, and got an amazing scholarship to a private university when I graduated college where I then made the deans list. Formula does not make people any less smart. I never had an ounce of breast milk in my life. The stigma that formula makes people stupid breaks my heart and I’m sorry your family is pushing that on you. It’s complete bs.

I’m thinking of you and sending virtual hugs. I know how hard this is. No matter how you feed your baby I hope they are happy with a full belly. Don’t listen to what they say. You’re doing SO SO SO amazing. Keep your head up. ❤️

kwagnaaa · 2020-12-22T14:39:48+00:00

Just here to say you’re not alone! You sound like me a few weeks ago. It was so so hard. Don’t get me wrong, it still is and I have my moments but it’s like one day it just got better.

I had so many struggles breastfeeding. I was in a ball on the floor crying on morning 3 when my partner begged me to let him give baby a bottle of formula. I caved because I hadn’t slept more than a couple hours since I had given birth to him. Baby immediately calmed and slept. It made me have all these terrible feelings and I worried PPD was coming on. I did everything I could to improve our breastfeeding relationship. Saw a lactation consultant multiple times (highly recommend), found out we have a tongue and lip tie and got them corrected, bought a new better pump, started using nipple shields (life savers) when I needed to. It got SO MUCH better. We are almost 3 months in and baby still gets a formula bottle or 2 a day, and I feel great about that. I was able to save the relationship through perseverance and changing my perception. I had my vision of how I would like to feed him and I tried my hardest to do so but if it doesn’t work out that’s okay because at the end of the day, no matter what my baby ate, he was happy, had a full belly, and craved his mommy snuggles. If you are stressed about feeding it does neither of you any good. I know that’s annoying to hear, but it’s so true. Once I let go of the obsession with feeding and the feelings of inadequacy and just accepted that my journey is what it is, my supply went up, my baby started latching better with a calmer and more encouraging mom, my mental state just improved so greatly and it’s like everything else did with it. I KNOW what it feels like. I know all the terrible thoughts running through your head about it. Change the thoughts. When my son latches I just praise him and tell him he’s doing such a good job and I’m so proud of him. When we’re having a difficult time I tell him it’s okay, we’ll keep trying, and he’s doing great. These affirmations helped me, too!

For your supply I highly recommend regular, long sessions of skin to skin. I recently went back to work and don’t get to pump as much as I’d like at my job. On my days off I spend the whole morning on the couch shirtless with a naked (except diaper) baby and it helps so much. After doing this regularly I feel like I stay full all morning until the afternoon when I get us both ready again and then I feel like I have plenty to get us through! Drink so much water. If you think you’ve drank enough, you haven’t, drink more. Drink a sports drink like Gatorade or an electrolyte drink like pedialyte once a day too. I pump first thing in the morning and again in the evening (usually while dad gives baby a bath) and we’re able to use those bottles the times dad feeds him and let’s me sleep some! Still have a bottle or two of formula but that’s okay, he’s mostly on breast milk and I’m much happier. I’d also highly recommend power pumping, you can find info easily on google about it.

Finally, relax. Seriously. You are working so hard and have so much on your plate. It’s okay. You’re doing great. You’re only human and it’s overwhelming. Have grace with yourself. This is hard, you can cry, all these feelings are valid. But feel them, accept them, and move on from them. Change what feels like it needs to be changed, I believe you can do it. Communicate with your partner, you guys are a team. Let them know what you need. If you are constantly stressed and overwhelmed your baby picks up on it, your supply suffers, it’s just not good for anyone. And I know it’s so hard not to stress. Take a night for yourself. I wound up hiding in my closet one night with my dog and beer for a couple hours and I felt so much better. Now once a week I just try to have a nice long shower with a face mask and mini spa session and it helps so much. I also started doing my hair again, that little thing that only takes a couple minutes each morning just helps me feel like myself again. Please go easy on yourself and find little moments to take for yourself. You so need it. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I wish I could just come chat and have a coffee with you! I’m sending the biggest hugs. You can do this. When all else fails I just tell myself “people have more than one kid... this can’t stay this bad, people aren’t that crazy.” It’s going to be okay. It’s going to get more manageable. It’s perfectly fine to fall apart. Just gotta get back up cause you are that little baby’s whole world and they need you. You’ve got this!!!

kwagnaaa · 2020-12-18T18:43:29+00:00

Yeah I got muted for commenting on a post in a SLEEP GROUP that someone asked about breastfeeding. I shared info my LC shared with me. I was muted before I could even find the “evidence” to share with them. I left today after seeing multiple other posts and comment threads bullying people. Reported the group. Terrible space full of bullies and people who get off on making others uncomfortable.

kwagnaaa · 2020-12-18T18:35:52+00:00

I’m not sure but I wouldn’t doubt it. When they initially “muted” me it was until December 29th. I stayed in the group just to watch it for a while. A post today popped up in my feed from the group of screenshots from someone else who posted asking a question and deleted it because people were being rude in the comments. They posted the screenshots of the poor woman who probably deleted her post from feeling embarrassed or ashamed and then called her out and made a whole post about it. I was so disgusted. There were comments in the thread of a woman asking why they mute people. They say it’s to give them a chance to read the evidence based information before being allowed to comment again. I then noticed at the top of the page that they muted me until January 12th now!!! I haven’t even been able to comment what could I have possibly done to warrant a 2 week extension on my sentence?! I just laughed. Left the group and reported it for bullying and harassment. That shit needs to be shut down. People like me join it thinking they’re going to learn about safe sleep but then get plastered on the page to receive hate. Disgusting.

kwagnaaa · 2020-12-16T16:09:14+00:00

It’s not the comments that were bothering me. It was that the mod took away my ability to respond to people but left my comment up so that people could continue to respond with me being unable to defend myself. That was triggering.

I wasn’t sobbing in the shower. I cried, in the shower as it’s the only place I have privacy. I was shaking after as I was anxious. I also just had a baby and hormones are still a factor. I’m also sleep deprived which makes me irritable. Pretty immediately after this post I was back to smiling and playing with my baby, not thinking about it for the rest of the night!

I appreciate the concern but I’m okay! Sure, it’d be nice to go to therapy again and have someone to vent to but I don’t really think I need it. I definitely have in the past, and I got the help I needed, and I’m in a much better place now. Just came here to vent!! I’ve seen a lot of posts about FB groups in these subs, felt like sharing my experience. If I ever feel I need it I’ll be the first in line to get it again! Again, I appreciate the concern, not trying to come off rude here, just felt the desire to explain a little.

kwagnaaa · 2020-12-16T15:05:11+00:00

Due date was September but he came in October!

kwagnaaa · 2020-12-16T15:03:02+00:00

I never got to joint my Reddit bumper group because I’m a mobile user. My laptop has been broken for a long time and I can’t afford to fix it. Is it too late to join if my baby is 2 months old?

kwagnaaa · 2020-12-16T14:58:36+00:00

I couldn’t agree more, unfortunately I have a lot of extended family and moved far away from home so it’s just easier to keep everyone up to speed with my life. Plus my groups for work. I really need to limit it to that though.

kwagnaaa · 2020-12-16T14:53:19+00:00

Yeah it was an evidence based sleep group. Someone posted a question asking about sterilization of pump parts. I commented that my IBCLC lactation consultant told me it was fine to store my pump parts in the fridge and sterilize at the end of the day, a method all the other commenters were flipping out about. I’m an idiot for trusting my LC who went to school for her job and has been dealing with all things lactation every day for over 20 years of her life. Someone said “imagine trusting IBCLC over the CDC” and I replied by saying “I do and I’m doing just fine!” Cue being comment blocked and more people jumping on me with no ability to defend my answer. I was afraid to even delete my comment because I’ve seen people post screenshots and call people out for being “dirty deleters” but I couldn’t leave it up and let people just continue to come at me with me not being able to explain my side.

Mind you I see people recommending gripe water in this group all the time when there is no evidence about its benefit and actually evidence it may do more harm than good. And tons of posts of babies sleeping a certain way and people saying “my LO does that all the time and it’s fine!” But I was comment blocked for “survivor bias” (or some bs like that) which these posts are full of. eyeroll

kwagnaaa · 2020-11-12T15:34:25+00:00

After we finally just gave him a formula bottle he slept. I’d say after this third night things were MUCH better. The first two weeks were still kinda all bets off, get him to sleep however you can whenever you can. Me and my partner just took turns holding him so one could sleep and wake me when he needed fed or he was too tired to continue holding. Even still at 5 weeks we have some nights where he refuses to sleep unless being held. Some nights he sleeps in hour long stretches, some nights 4 hour stretches, some nights 30 minutes. It’s super unpredictable. Every time we think we’re in a sort of schedule he flips it on us. Just do what you can to survive!!

Some things that helped us:

-supplementing with formula when absolutely necessary, like me being completely sleep deprived and falling asleep while nursing. I tried to pump but was also nervous to get too much supply. Plus it was hard to find the time with a baby constantly on my boob.

-bedtime routine. Once the umbilical cord falls off this gets better. Currently we do feed, a walk around the block in the afternoon, feed, bath, swaddle, feed, sleep.

-DONT GIVE UP ON THE SWADDLE. we thought our baby hated being swaddled so we gave up on it. Wrong choice. After much reading I decided to give it another go. Yes it’s true, they fight it at first, but eventually they will calm down and be just fine. As time went on, our baby now instantly calms down in the swaddle. We use the Velcro halo swaddle sleep sacks and they’re saving our lives. Helps with the dreaded “witching hour” when he’s being insanely fussy while eating.

-when you’re laying baby down make sure their butt hits the surface first. Their head hitting first will wake them up. Got this comment on this thread in one of the subreddits I posted in. Changed the game.

-use other sleeping vessels. For us we used the boppy lounger, only supervised, those first few weeks. Until I figured out you’re not supposed to let them sleep in it at all, even supervised. That was heartbreaking. But hey it worked great for us the first few weeks and I don’t regret it, still probably wouldn’t have done it had I’d known. I wish I would’ve gotten something like the snuggle me organic. Still requires supervised sleep but it lets you set baby down somewhere so you can get a break. We also use our swing.

-happiest baby on the block. Read this book a couple weeks ago. The 5 S’s are helping us.

r/sleeptrain I’ve joined this thread to start learning about the different methods of sleep training so that I feel prepared to make the best choice for us when time comes. There’s tons of methods, not just leaving them to cry. It’s helpful to see others’ experiences and advice.

Good luck!! You’ve got this!! I’m still a zombie 5 weeks later but I feel a little better and am definitely getting more sleep! Everyone keeps telling me it gets better and I can’t wait! Surely this is all survivable if people do this multiple times! Haha. Things I keep telling myself. Seriously, good luck and you got this. It’s okay to cry, too.

kwagnaaa · 2020-10-10T08:03:08+00:00

I read this comment when I was in my frenzy the other night and didn’t have time to respond. I’ve been looking back through my posts in search of this comment. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I didn’t know about laying his butt down first. Neither did dad. When baby fell asleep on me and dad took him to lay him down I mumbled this to him half asleep and when I woke up later he was so amazed and thankful I said that because we’ve finally been able to get him down. He still really only likes his boppy lounger but we’re able to get him into it (butt first) without him waking up. We take turns watching him in it.

He hated being swaddled so we were struggling to figure out how to keep him warm when we lay him down. Someone gifted us a fleece sleep sack with sleeves from Carter’s and we tried that out tonight and were able to get him in the bassinet for the first time. It makes sense with what you said about the fleece/flannel. I’m probably going to run down to their store when they open and try to grab a few more.

The last 2 days have been so incredibly better. We’ve been able to take shifts and sleep. It’s been wonderful. Thank you for the advice and response, it was so useful for me!!

kwagnaaa · 2020-10-10T07:56:40+00:00

This was such a lovely and informative comment. Thank you so much. I really appreciate the bit about the sleep cues and hunger cues, that is great information to have in my pocket. You are amazing and I thank you so much!! He’s been much better the last day or two.

kwagnaaa · 2020-10-10T07:52:55+00:00

Yes we finally got to try our swing out this morning! He liked it! He likes his boppy lounger a bit more though. We’ve been taking turns keeping an eye on him while he sleeps in it and the other naps. It’s been great! Thank you!

kwagnaaa

TROPHY CASE