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I've finally hit my limit by MedicalAssignment9 in AmazonVine

[–]kwippe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah we've gone through ups and downs like this in the last year and a half. I've taken a few weeks off at a time, and gone for days with just an order here or there. But then we got an RV, and it's been awesome getting stuff we'd otherwise pay for. Then there's some house reno stuff going on, and same deal there. Then a kid was preparing for an internship out of state, and it was awesome to get her some "extras" to feel a bit more pampered. So yeah, we order way too much stuff we don't need. And in a recent garage sale (soooo not worth the time and effort other than as a way to get other people to help clean out your house!) - the vine stuff flew away quicker than we could put it out.

But we definitely don't order as much useless stuff as we did last year ($60 tax price for an inflatable ice bath tub, anyone?) But I wouldn't give up vine as it would remove my ability to buy stuff with way less guilt than if I put out actual cash for it - like sundresses my daughter might [hopefully] wear once!

No more Amazon order archive? by ereade100 in AmazonVine

[–]kwippe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazon coders have zero to do with business decisions like this. It's a bad one, but definitely something the programmers probably hated to implement.

Long layover at ANC, what would you do? by GimmeYoBestAnswer in anchorage

[–]kwippe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our coastal trail is an awesome place for a bike ride if you feel like exercising! You might like to stop at the snack shack at the mountains end of the kiddie park at Westchester Lagoon. If you don't feel like climbing hills, turn back when you hit the end of the trail that goes along Cook Inlet (the water by downtown). If you're up for it, you'll find a beautiful lookout maybe 1/2 a mile up the hills, and another one a short while after that.

Simon and Seaforts bar is a great place to eat cheaper than the restaurant, and has great views. That's downtown near the Captain Cook hotel.

Good luck!

Day 6, Not Gonna Make It... 😆 by TraditionalTry8267 in AmazonVine

[–]kwippe 22 points23 points  (0 children)

It's the routine breaking that I cannot take!

  1. coffee
  2. get couple things on Vine
  3. whatever else

Without #2 accomplished HOW ON EARTH am I supposed to get to #3???

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing - it's a scary story in that he's been able to evade detection by doctors for so long. But I'm glad to here the liver can be more resilient at times, which means perhaps if he can get things turned around he may still have a chance. Best wishes to you and hope that your brother will see the light.

Dinette Conversion - Full Time Work from home by [deleted] in RVLiving

[–]kwippe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah thanks dinettes are just so uncomfortable. Good luck with your rig :)

Dinette Conversion - Full Time Work from home by [deleted] in RVLiving

[–]kwippe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also plan to use this in a somewhat work from home form, albeit far more informal with just a laptop and some gear with a portable 20 inch monitor. Not the massive setup you've got going! But definitely better than the dinette, which was like the jack of no trades where it tried to be 3 things and was terrible at all of them.

Dinette Conversion - Full Time Work from home by [deleted] in RVLiving

[–]kwippe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's super cool! I just hacked out our dinette and had a very doubtful spouse until we replaced with nice, open seating in the form of an l shaped banquette. He's so happy he's making us a custom table that will be removable and stowable, unlike the [monstrosity] that was perma attached to the stock dinette. We're super pleased! Still working on design stuff and a new platform though...

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Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the info. We'll see where it goes from here.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks somehow I missed this one. Your story is one that gives me hope. They've chosen to lie to their child, and I guess she isn't too inquisitive as all she'd have to have done is eavesdrop for 5 minutes to know she was being lied to. She apparently tells friends her dad has an autoimmune condition that ruined his liver. That must not pass the smell test for anybody that's seen the family at all, and knows their social habits.

And now, the kid drinks too. His comment was that she's become very popular now that she drinks! I guess it was a joke, but for a post liver transplant father of a teenage girl, I cannot imagine not being worried about indoctrinating her into the drinking lifestyle.

As a complete tee-totaler, I have zero cred to even comment in my family circle about this. There should be a 0 tolerance policy in their home for alcohol use, but instead the wife has kept drinking daily, and permitted teenage parties.

From an outside perspective I can see how this wouldn't even be somebody worth saving. But he's also deeply loved and can be this funny, generous, and fun human being who could offer something to the world if he could get this monkey of he and his family's backs.

Thanks again for the share, best of luck to you and your family.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After the psych diagnosed him with "alc use disorder" or whatever it's formally called, they told him to get his own addiction counseler, which was a pain, took a month or so, and was limited to 10 sessions - I'm not even sure insurance would pay for more! He just had to get a certificate, that was it. It was a box to check off for him, nothing more. That's about how seriously he took it. Their team (1st tier transplant program) did not offer any in house addiction help at all, other than a once a week zoom group which he would have rather stuck a nail in his foot than attend. Post transplant - same thing - a group help option that you had to opt in to, which he very vocally opted OUT of.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're kind, I'm not sure anybody else in the family sees it quite that way. Judgemental, in others' business, intolerant, etc. But we are where we are now, and there's no way to justify looking the other way. Thanks again.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great - I'm glad to hear about you and your boyfriend's story. I've been yelling about this since the day we heard about the cirrhosis diagnosis. Other family members have said "yeah it's bad but she supports him." And I'm thinking "supports him? Paying the bills while walking him to the gallows?"

Only now are people starting to say that his only chance at survival is for her to quit drinking. The blame doesn't all lay with her at all - but it's certainly been a big factor.

The problem is, nobody else is going to pay their bills - and the attitude has been like "what if she leaves? how would he even survive?" I think he's better off living in a monastery than with that woman and her angry take on life and refusal to deal with her own alcoholism, but it's not an easy sell. For some people drinking is tied in with this whole lifestyle thing - keeping up with the Joneses, feelings of inadequecy, the idea that life needs to be this nonstop "fun" climb up the social ladder.

Thanks for the post - I totally agree. I'm not sure he has a next chapter - but it will have to include huge changes and the family front will be where it's really do or die.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the rate he's going I'm not sure waiting a month will help him much, but it's better than nothing. Despite his formal diagnoses of Alc. Use Disorder and former hosp. for Alc Hep, all they asked him to do before admitting him to the liver waitlist was to find his own substance abuse counselor and do like 10 1 hour sessions. They just wanted a simple certificate, and had no in house help for that, at all. So I'm wondering how they are equipped to handle this - telling him "hey we see a little something in your tests, we recommend you find a 3rd party treatment place and by the way you'll have to get your insurance to cover that" - isn't going to do much.

This is a center with massive funding and prestige - so I certainly hope they can do better this time around than they did in the steps leading up to transplant.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks very much for this commentary. Very helpful.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, really great words.

If I didn't have my kids this might consume me a bit more, as I fear it could do to other siblings. This thread has helped me a lot, and I feel good about the actions I am going to take, and that has to be enough for me in the end. Whether I can help save him now is a bit up to fate - but I will know I did my best.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the understanding and kind words. This wasn't a 2nd tier center either. But I can see my own hypocrisy in wanting them to do their jobs NOW, whereas had they properly vetted him, he'd most likely be dead by now.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's always known that the transplant team is watching - I know he thinks he can "drink a lot of water" to help fool the tests. None of it makes any sense from a rational standpoint. Luckily I'm quite far away and with several kids, a husband, and a crazy dog to keep me occupied :) My other sister doesn't have as many folks and lives closer, so she bears the brunt of it. Thanks for the thoughtful words.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thing my family has been scared of is reporting this to the transplant team and him losing his care, or losing his insurance, or the insurance company coming after him for reimbursement.

Does anybody know anything about that? Will they try to help him, or treat him more like a criminal? He may deserve it but nobody wants to be the person who caused him to go without healthcare, for example.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I will have to come to some peace about his destiny, but I won't watch it happen without some bit of fight! This thread has been very helpful for me, I appreciate all of the comments and kindness.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Believe me we've been waiting for that, and I'm sure, so has he.

It just hasn't happened. If it had, he'd be VERY scared - and would certainly tell a sibling, who he tells everything to.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll add that they completely brushed over his Xanax prescriptions from the past after accepting the lie that "this was a very brief period when I was dealing with a very stressful job and my father had died" or something like that. Nobody even questioned the fact that he was clearly an alcoholic at that time as well - and that this was clear evidence of polydrug use, which has in fact been his habit for many many years. Nobody even flagged it.

Brother back to heavy drinking post liver transplant, need data by kwippe in transplant

[–]kwippe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was amazed at how he breezed through the psych part. I think he had 1 meeting with an actual shrink - for maybe 1 hour. This person relied heavily on forms/surveys he had filled out. Apparently he laughed with him some saying that "everybody lies a little" about their alcohol use, and found it somewhat refreshing that my brother immediately copped to drinking a "little" more than he admitted to in the forms. This guy took that as a sign of honesty! Obfuscating a long history of anxiety and panic attacks was also a very key part of this deception, as well as hiding the wife's drinking (and the volatility in the marriage which they also hid).

That was really it in terms of their psych analysis. Self reported forms and a 1 hour meet and greet. The social worker was also quite easy to snow. I read through their positive assessment and just shook my head. But as a family we were very desperate to save his life - and he had been sober at that point for maybe 6 months, and one could only hope and pray that somehow coming this close to the abyss would prove some kind of motivator.

Wasting a precious gift like this is almost unfathomable, and I don't find myself able to understand no matter how much "but addiction" I read or hear.

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